She tilted her head slightly, listening. “What’s that sound?” she asked.

Adele shrugged. “Maybe Olivia on the phone?”

“I’m going to check.”

She went up the stairs and listened at Livvie’s door. She heard her talk, then laugh. And still there was that sound. She pushed open Amber’s door.

Her daughter was facedown on her bed, her cries muffled in the pillow. Justine sat on the edge of the bed and gently touched her back. “Hey, bunny rabbit. What’s the matter? Did something happen? Did something someone say upset you?”

She shook her head, rolled over and wiped her eyes. She sat up on her bed.

“What is it? Did meeting Logan upset you? Did I make a mistake?”

“No,” she said with a hiccup of emotion. “He’s nice.”

“So why are you crying?”

Her face contorted. “It’s like I lost my dad!”

“Because of Logan? Honey, I’m not going to trade your dad for Logan. Logan is just a new friend.”

“But my dad is gone,” she whimpered. “It’s almost Thanksgiving. He moved in with her last March. He won’t see us without including her and she’s a creep. Why does she even want to be around us? We don’t want to know her at all. And he’ll never come home!”

“Oh honey, honey... Listen, there’s something you have to understand—your dad left me, not you. Your dad and I won’t be a married couple again. I can’t. I just can’t. I don’t understand this business of him insisting you include his girlfriend—it’s crazy to me. Your dad and I won’t be getting back together. But it’s not because of Logan. It’s because your dad loves another woman. He walked away from everything we built together. He crushed my heart and yours and Livvie’s. I can’t let him do that again.”

She thought about the things she’d tried to keep from the kids—the early mornings of throwing up, the nights she couldn’t sleep or woke up every hour, the mornings of struggling with her makeup so the sleepless nights wouldn’t show on her face. She lost so much weight, she looked emaciated. A doctor friend asked her if she could do with some Xanax, but she was afraid of becoming dependent.

In retrospect, that black hole had passed relatively quickly—a few months. But she had thought about nothing else but her husband and his mistress, obsessed with the betrayal. She thought about all those women who caught their husbands in an affair and didn’t have careers, couldn’t afford to break free.

“We lost him forever,” Amber said. “It’s not our fault, but we lost him.”

“Not really, honey. I think your dad somehow lost himself. He wasn’t feeling strong or important, I guess. And the woman he found made him feel important.”

“But she’s a creep! She’s weird and kind of mean.”

Justine was shaking her head. “I can’t do anything about that. He made his choice. I think in time he might discover he made a bad choice, but it’s a final choice.”

“And you won’t ever take him back? Ever?”

“What if I did and it happened again?” Justine asked. “Listen, we haven’t come to the end of this story yet. This is all new. Many things could change. Your dad has a new business—maybe that will help him feel better about himself. Maybe...”

“Mom, everyone in town knows that kayak shack is a loser! It’s gone out of business a bunch of times!”

“Here’s what I hope,” Justine said. “Your dad was a good dad, and I always thought of him as a good man. Maybe he’ll come around enough so you and Livvie can spend time with him, have a good relationship with him. Maybe the woman he’s with will become more likable in time, who knows? I just want you to remember that very few things are forever. Maybe it seems like your dad is gone now, but maybe that changes in a few months or years.”

“The counselor said something like that, but it still hurts. It hurts that he left us.”

“What did the counselor say, honey?”

“Something like keep an open mind, but I’m allowed to have boundaries. Like I don’t have to go out to dinner with her. I don’t know what’s wrong with my dad. I can tell she’s not a good person.”

Justine felt at once relieved and guilty—her daughters didn’t know the half of it. She was hitting him! Scott was not a skinny, weak little man and Cat was small, though strong. Was Scott letting her hit him? Was he not fighting back? Oh God, imagine if they were beating up each other! She had that scrappy look about her.

“I had that same feeling, Amber. That suddenly I didn’t know my own husband. I’m hoping it’s temporary insanity.”

“But you won’t take him back?”

“Listen, we can still have good lives, your dad and me. We can be good parents and find a way to get along. Your dad is a smart man, he can work and make a living just like me. He just has to make some good choices.”

“He hasn’t so far,” Amber said, taking a final sniff. “And now you have a boyfriend.”

“If that worries you, I can tell Logan we can’t see each other anymore. I told you—you come first.”

“But you like him,” she said.

“Of course! So do you. I think he’s a good guy. But Amber, we’re not in love or engaged or planning a future together. Logan is not in the way of you having a good relationship with your dad. That can still happen if he just gets his head on straight.”

“I don’t like our chances,” Amber said. “I’ve never seen my dad act so stupid.”

She had to concentrate to keep from saying, If only you knew.

Chapter Sixteen

Adele enrolled in a couple of classes for the spring semester at Berkeley. When she was admitted to the master’s program, those classes would be applied to her transcript. One was from six to eight in the evening three nights a week, and the other was every Saturday, online.

The only person she wanted to tell was Jake. She dropped by the store, picked through some fresh produce, then went looking for him. She finally asked one of the produce managers.

“The last time I saw him he was hosing down the receiving dock out back.”

“I’ll go there,” she said.

“Well, since you’re not supposed to, leave your groceries with me and be very careful. It could be slick.”

She knew her way around the store, of course. It was one of her regular outings the entire time she lived in her parents’ house. She knew the store, the office, the dock, the storeroom, even the dumpsters. She found Jake in the shipping area, wielding his high-powered hose. She stood back, waiting for him to see her. He turned off the water.

“Adele Descaro, as I live and breathe.”

“Yes, Jake, it’s me. I left my cart in the vegetable aisle. How are you?”

“Doing fine, Addie. But how about you?”

She walked toward him. “I saw Bobby Jo at the Walmart the other day, and you’ll never believe what she asked me. She asked if we’d had a falling out. A fight.”

“Is that so? She never asked me,” he said.

“Well, you are the boss. Maybe she didn’t want to seem nosy.”

“That never bothered her before,” he said with a laugh.

“So, there’s been some drama, and I thought you’d want to hear about it,” she said.

“Absolutely, if it’s at all interesting, which most of the drama in this town is not. Whatcha got?”

“Justine is dating someone.”

“No kidding? Do you like him?”

“I guess,” she said with a shrug. “He seems perfectly nice. But it made me see that we never actually dated even if we went out on a few dates here and there, and now we’re not seeing each other at all.”

“Not true,” he argued. “I brought over a bottle of wine and some artichoke spinach dip from the deli. Bobby Jo is well-known for it, and I don’t really know your diet restrictions, but if you can have wine and ice cream, you can have a little of the dip sometimes.”

“That was a week ago and I haven’t seen you since.”

“Well, Addie, that’s because we had a little bit of a standoff about who we are to each other. Last thing I heard—you were thinking about it.”

“I’m thinking about it a lot. You are important to me. How about if I cook for you tonight at your place?”

He had a look of genuine disappointment on his face. “I’m sorry, Addie, I can’t. I offered to help a friend with some wiring. Simple job. It shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours, but I made a commitment and she’s feeding me dinner for it.”

“She?” Adele asked.

“Jeannie Spicer. You know her.”

“Oh, I know her all right. But really, dinner for a chore?” Jeannie was divorced with three kids, and while Jake had helped her out a few times before, this particular time it bothered her.

“It’s what she always does,” Jake said. “I don’t mind helping her if I can. That worthless ex of hers sure doesn’t help much.”

“Hmm,” Addie said.

“So, tell me about Justine’s new man. What’s he do?”

“He’s a private investigator,” she said. “I guess I better go so you can finish up and get over to Jeannie’s.”

“I’d take it as a good sign that you’re acting a little jealous, if I didn’t know you better. You’re never jealous.”

She got her groceries and went home. She was surprised to find that despite the evening before when Logan’s dinner had stirred up some emotions, Justine and the girls were in good spirits. They were going out for pizza and a movie, and she joined them. She could’ve called to invite Jake to dinner the next day, Sunday, but instead she waited to see if she’d hear from him.

She didn’t.

* * *