“You really think that?” She dangled a silver bracelet in front of my face. “I told you I made a copy of your house key in shop class months ago. Your mom is passed out on the couch…”

“Of course she is…” I said. “Well, I need to be alone so I can think. So, no offense, but I don’t really want your goddamn company right now, and since you had to literally break into my house to even see me, I’m going to ask you to leave.”

“Okay.” She stared at me, blinking. Then she put my left earbud into her ear and reclined against my pillows.

“Did you hear what I said, Arizona? Do I need to repeat it?”

“I heard you perfectly,” she said, motioning for me to lie back down next to her. “You said you were going to ask me to leave because you don’t want my company. So, when you actually ask me to leave, I will…”

Her eyes met mine and I knew she could tell that I was far from okay, that I was an emotional wreck today, and that I did really want her to stay.

Instead of fighting the facts, I lay next to her and put the other earbud in my right ear. “You being here today and seeing me like this didn’t happen.”

“It never does…”

Track 12. The Moment I Knew (4:09)

I stood in Arizona’s kitchen the morning after we’d had sex, brewing a fresh cup of coffee. Two of her roommates, Jenny and Heather, were standing across from me—waiting for the timer to sound.

“You know you can technically get coffee as it’s brewing right?” I asked, noticing that they were staring at my chest.

“I’m aware.” Jenny blushed. “Just waiting like you are…”

“I actually did not know that…” Heather stepped forward and held her mug under the coffee machine. “Learn something new every day. Just in case I don’t see her today, will you tell Arizona to pick up some dish soap when she wakes up? It’s her turn.”

“I will.” I nodded.

The timer went off and Jenny stepped forward, deliberately rubbing her mug against my chest before holding it under the coffee machine. “Sorry. Couldn’t help myself.” She laughed.

“Anyway,” Heather said, ignoring Jenny. “In addition to the dish soap, could you also tell her to get us some more coffee? It’s her turn for that, too.”

“Noted.” I noticed Jenny was still touching me. “Don’t you need to get to work?”

She blushed again and stepped back. “Whenever you want me to leave my boyfriend for you, just say the word. Say the word…”

“I won’t.” I laughed.

“You will.” She sipped her coffee and headed toward the door, laughing back. “I’ll be awaiting that phone call!”

I waited for them to leave, made sure the car had revved up and pulled out of the driveway before I sat down.

My mind immediately attempted to process what the hell had happened last night in a series of frames: Movie. Laughter. Uninterrupted Kiss. Sex. Sex with Arizona. Sex again with Arizona. Sex with my best friend for as long as I could fucking remember, Arizona…

“Morning.” She walked into the kitchen wearing a plush white robe, avoiding my eyes.


“Did you or one of my roommates make the coffee?”

“I did.”

“So, there’s no hazelnut?”

“No.” I stood up and made her a cup, adding the hazelnut shots that I always left out whenever I made the coffee. While I was adding her usual three packets of artificial sweetener, she took a seat on the barstool across from me, still avoiding my gaze.

“What do you have planned for this weekend?” I slid her mug across the counter.

“My usual summer weekend routine: Gayle’s with you at some point, stealing a class from the culinary school and hoping I won’t get kicked out. Oh, and late night drinks with Nicole on Sunday.”

“If she doesn’t stand you up.”

“Yes. If she doesn’t stand me up.” She took a long sip of her coffee—finally letting her eyes meet mine. “What about you?”

“Gayle’s with you at some point…I have some errands I need to run and I need to pick up a few books on the law school’s summer reading list. I’ll probably do something with Josh as well.”


She brought her mug to her lips and tilted it higher, nearly downing the entire cup.

“Your roommates want you to know that they need you to buy more coffee and dish soap,” I said. “They claim it’s your turn so whenever you get a chance—”

“We’re really not going to talk about last night?” She cut me off. “We’re just going to act like that shit didn’t happen?”

“No.” I smiled. “What part do you want to talk about, Ari?”

“How about the part where my best friend since fourth grade fucked me? Or maybe we should discuss the part where he took my silence and utter shock to mean that I wanted him to perform cunnilingus on me? Yeah, you know what? Let’s start there. Shall we?”

“First of all, I’ve been your best friend since fifth grade. I hated you in fourth grade, and we didn’t start speaking cordially until the end of the year. Long after you got me in trouble for like the fiftieth time.”

“Out of all the things I just said, that’s what you want to discuss first?”