“Thanks, man.” I laughed. “I feel like you just called me a whore.”

Alec laughed with me. “Shut up. You know what I mean, and I think we both know who’d get the label in our little group.”

I chuckled and rubbed Nat’s hand some more. “What are we going to do?”

Steely resolved reflected in Alec’s gaze. “We’re going to do what he didn’t.”

“What’s that?”

“Survive.” Alec looked back to Nat. “Survive and fight like hell.” He kissed her forehead and rose from his seat. “I’m going to go do something I should have done long ago.”

“What?”

“Get my head out of my ass and apologize to every single person who was affected by my lies — by my actions. Starting with your mom.”

I followed him to the door. “Does she deserve it? After everything?”

“Nobody deserves grace, Demetri. That doesn’t mean we don’t still offer it when given the opportunity.”

I smirked. “There he is.”

“What?”

“My big brother. I knew he was in there somewhere.”

He glared. “Very funny.”

I stretched my arms over my head and yawned. “Finally, I can go back to being the stupid immature one. Thank God. Another five minutes of playing the funny, attractive, mature one, and you were going to have to check me into the mental ward of this hospital.”

Alec threw his head back and laughed, then wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Ass.”

“Bastard.”

“Really?” Alyssa approached us, arms crossed. “Name-calling? After the day we’ve had?”

Alec backed away with his hands up in surrender. “He’s all yours.”

Alyssa glared. I called after Alec, “Thanks, man! Thanks for abandoning me. What about all that brothers stick together stuff you just said!”

Alec ignored me and kept walking, leaving me alone with a very ticked off Alyssa.

“Babe…” I smiled and crooked my finger at her.

Uh-oh, she was raising her hand. Crap, she was going to slap me. Well, I guess I deserved it. I—

Her mouth assaulted mine, hot and urgent. She pushed her tongue against mine. Damn, she tasted good. I pried her away and swore. “Good God, what did I do? Tell me what it was so I can do it again!”

Her hand came soaring out of nowhere, landing with a crack across my left cheek. “Ah, I was expecting that. Cruel. You seduced me before you hit me. That has to be against some rule.”

Alyssa pushed against my chest with her tiny hands. I always found it hilarious when she tried to fight me. “You suck! I’ve been worried sick about you for days and then after the whole adoption thing, and your real mom, and we never finished the conversation we started this afternoon because all of the drama of our lives, and I just—” Alyssa hit me again and started to cry. “Sometimes I just hate you for making me love you so much, you ass!”

Chuckling, I held her against me and kissed her head. “Let me get this straight. You hate that you love me so much and I’m an ass?”

“Well…” She sniffled. “Not in that particular order.”

“Oh?”

“You’re an ass first.”

I choked on my laugh. “Thanks, babe. I love you too.”

Sighing, she pulled away from me. Refusing to look me in the eyes she looked down at the floor and put her hands on her hips. “What happens after all this? After the drama, after the T.V show — where does that leave us?”

She was freaking adorable. Alyssa was trying so hard to be strong. She hated being vulnerable and I know it was hard for her sometimes, considering I wasn’t always as serious as she would like. It was easy to forget where she was a year ago because she was doing so damn well now. She didn’t have any more anxiety, was completely off her meds, and finally over her dead ex-boyfriend, thank God.

“Lyss, come here.”

“No.” She looked at the ground. “Not until you tell me.”

“How old are you?” I reached for her hand.

She let me grab it and sighed. “Nineteen.”

“You really wanna get married at nineteen?”

That got her attention. Her head snapped up. Was she going to slap me again?

“Married?”

I nodded and slowly pulled her into my embrace, tilting her chin up so she would actually look at me and stop avoiding eye contact. “I love you.”

A pretty blush stained her cheeks she tried to pull away, but I held her chin so she had no choice.

“Listen,” I commanded. “Because you know I only say things once, and then I have to crack some sort of inappropriate joke.”

She smirked.

“I love you so damn much that I’m pretty sure I’d let birds eat me alive if I couldn’t have you. I’d lose my freaking mind if I couldn’t touch your smooth skin every day. I crave you the way a person craves oxygen. I need you in order to fully be me. We’re a pair — soul mates. What we have is eternal and I’m not going anywhere. I think we’ve established that. My adoption? Means nothing. You’re my family — you’re my everything. I want you. So where does that leave us? I guess it leaves us with forever.”

Alyssa’s eyes pooled with tears. She nodded jerkily and wrapped her arms around my neck. “I can’t be without you.”

“Good.” I took a deep breath so I could calm my racing heart. “Because I know for a fact I couldn’t exist without you.”

“Of course not.” She pulled away and wiped at a few tears. “You need someone to scare away all the birds.”

“Hilarious.”

Grinning, she held out her hand. I took it and kissed each finger tip before twirling her around in my arms and walking with her back down the hall.

We walked in silence to April’s room where I was hoping Alec was making some sort of headway. I really didn’t want to be a part of that conversation. She almost died — on purpose, but still. Even I was having trouble processing all the information. Damn, I needed taffy.

“They won’t let me in,” Alec said once we reached her door. “They said she needs her rest.”

I patted him on the back. “We can come back tomorrow. Let’s go talk to Dr. Murray and see if we can spring Nat from this place. You know how she hates hospitals ever since my accident.”

Nodding, Alec walked off to talk to the nurses.

Jaymeson was leaning against the wall looking like he had one foot in the grave. Someone seriously needed to fix that guy’s teeth. He lost one of his bottom teeth from me punching him in the jaw. Lucky for him, you could only tell when he smiled.

He hadn’t smiled in days.

“So?” I released Alyssa’s hand and approached him. “You want to come back with us? We can talk to April tomorrow. I’ll do whatever you want, man. I just think it would be best if we all go back and just… process.”

Jaymeson stared at the ground. His eyes were bloodshot. I didn’t know whether I needed to give him a hug or slap him to he’d snap out of it.

“Um…” Exhaling, he crossed his arms. “I just need someone to tell me what to do. If I stay I won’t get to see her, if I leave I feel like a shitty stepson.”

“Be the shitty stepson,” Alec said from behind me. “I just talked to the nurse and she’ll be out the rest of the day and most likely the night. We can come back later this evening if you want.”

After a few minutes Jaymeson nodded.

“What about Nat?” I asked Alec.

He laughed. “Her dad’s all over it. He said she needs to rest for a bit, so I’m going to go hang out in her room. Just bring me some food later tonight when you come back, okay? I hate hospital food.”

I patted Alec on the back and grabbed Alyssa’s hand. “Let’s go.”

Jaymeson followed and grumbled something about being the third wheel. At least he had somewhat of a sense of humor back. But I knew that would be short-lived the minute he came face to face with Angelica again.

After all, the only reason the shit hit the fan was because she was throwing it — and I knew Jaymeson wasn’t going to let her get away with it. And if for some reason he did decide to take the high road, I was fully ready to drive that bitch back into hell myself.

Chapter Thirty-five

Alec

I wondered if I should be concerned that she was still sleeping? I knew they had given her something to help calm her down.

Shit, I could go for something to calm me down right about now. I went into her room again and sat in the chair, closing my eyes against fluorescent lights. Sleep. I needed to do something other than worry.

****

“What the hell?” I snapped as something smacked me in the head.

Demetri grinned. “Have a nice nap?”

“You ass. You better have a good reason for waking me up. I could have died from… fright.”

“Did you just use the word fright?” Demetri leaned in and looked at my pupils. “Weird. And you aren’t even high.”

I pushed him away. “What do you want?”

“Ah, I come bearing gifts.”

“Last time you said that I woke up in jail.”

“That was one time, and how was I supposed to know it was illegal?”

“Things involving drugs and public nudity are always illegal.”

Demetri waved me off and pointed to the corner of the room where my guitar case was leaning against the wall. “I know how you get when you’re worried. You’re like a mother hen, only you have no chicks, so I figured rather than drive Nat insane with worry when she wakes up… you could make yourself useful and write some more songs for our next album.”

“You want me to work?”

Demetri rolled his eyes. “Why is everyone under the impression that what we do is actually work? It’s fun. I want you to have fun. I want you to relax. I want you to spend five damn minutes doing nothing but listening to the music and getting lost in it. I want you to remember.”

“Remember?”

Demetri slapped my back and shuffled out of the room calling behind him, “Remember why we’re so damn good.”

I laughed out loud as he turned and waved goodbye.

Nat was still sleeping peacefully, and as much as I hated to admit that my younger idiot brother was right… I did need a release. A healthy one. One that wouldn’t get me killed or cause me to hurt others.

I walked over to my case and pulled out my guitar. It was one of my favorites, which of course Demetri knew. I’d bought the Tanglewood the year after I’d overdosed on my anti-depressants. I’d been in a really low place.

Writing music had brought me out of it for a brief while. And then came Nat. My air.

I didn’t want to wake her up, but my fingers shook with the need to strum the guitar. I cleared my throat and sat in the corner by the window.

I strummed a few chords and glanced at Nat. Her face was like an angel. I felt so worn, so tired. My body was weak. I needed rest. But more than anything, I needed to feel alive without sucking the life from those around me. I closed my eyes and sang the first words that came.