It was awhile before Luke came.

I was sleeping and when I woke up I saw him sitting in a chair pulled up to the bed, his fingers linked and resting on the side of the bed, he was bent forward, his forehead resting on his hands.

I was a little stunned at his posture. It was seriously un-Super-Dude-like.

“Hey,” I said and his head snapped up and he looked at me.

This stunned me too because Luke was not the kind of guy you could take by surprise and he was so lost in thought, I’d done that.

“Hey,” he said, face serious, mouth tight. He sat back and put his forearms to his knees.

“You okay?” I asked.

He stared at me and said, “I’ll be okay when I can close my eyes at night and not see you lyin’ on the floor among a mess of dead bodies and blood.”

Yikes.

Not, I feared, a visual that led to sweet dreams.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered and wished there was something better to say.

There wasn’t.

He kept staring at me but didn’t say anything. Then with a voice low and quiet, he said, “You killed a man.”

I nodded.

Shard was dead. I shot him in the head. The police waited until I was out of ICU and with Vance standing next to me holding my hand, I’d made my statement. Roam and Sniff had made theirs too. The police were not going to press charges as obviously I’d done it in self-defense. Shard had killed Cordova, shot me and Roam. They were more than happy to close the case on him.

For my part, I was trying not to think about it.

“You gonna be able to live with that?” Luke asked.

I nodded again. “I don’t have much choice.”

Luke kept staring at me so I kept talking.

“It’s the difference between him being here and Roam and me being here. I picked Roam and me. I think that was the right decision.”

“It was. It’s still gonna f**k with your head,” Luke told me.

I had no doubt he was right.

“It starts f**kin’ with your head, you talk to Vance,” Luke went on. “You can’t get to Vance then me, Lee, Monty, Mace, Ike. Any of us’ll listen and we’ll know where your head will be at.”

It was my turn to stare at him. If I was reading his underlying message, he was telling me they all had killed someone.

“Now I’m really one of the boys,” I said softly, testing out my theory.

“Welcome to the club,” he affirmed my guess and said this in jest but he wasn’t amused and neither of us laughed.

“I was stupid. I shouldn’t have –” I started but he got up suddenly and leaned into me.

Then he stunned me again by kissing me. Not a Luke, teasing, sexy kiss but he put his hand to the side of my head and touched his lips to mine then pulled back a couple of inches and stared me in the eyes.

“You can go over it again and again, relive it a million different ways; it isn’t going to change anything. You saved your boy and you both are breathing. The end,” he said.

He stayed where he was for so long I felt the need to respond.

“Okay,” I said, but it was kind of shaky.

“You start relivin’ it, you talk to Vance or me or any of the boys. Don’t hold it inside. Again, we’ll listen.”

I nodded and was finding it hard to breathe and not because I’d been shot in the chest but because Luke was a great guy. Looking at Luke, hanging with Luke, you’d never know Luke could be like this. His face was hard but he was close and I saw the soft concern in his eyes and it made a normally f**king handsome guy look downright, knock-your-socks-off beautiful.

He trailed his thumb slowly across my cheekbone, his eyes never leaving mine.

Then he took his hand away, touched my nose, gave me a sexy half-grin and he was gone.

* * * * *

Fifth, I didn’t get Thanksgiving with just Vance, Nick and me. The Rock Chicks had a huge, Thanksgiving bash in my hospital room.

They brought the whole meal and all the fixin’s and stood or sat around, carting in chairs from other places, eating and chatting. All the women played a massive, marathon game of Trivial Pursuit while the men watched football.

Of course I had to suck my meal through a straw and eventually the nurses had to come around and tell them they had to go but still, it was fun.

* * * * *

Sixth, Martin and Curtis had come to visit me.

The whole time they were there, they didn’t cuss either.

Instead they told me why they were on the street. I’d been working with them for months and I had to get shot for them to open up to me.

I didn’t complain.

Instead, once they left, I called Shirleen and we had a chat.

Then I called Andy and told him Martin and Curtis were ready for a reunion with their Mom. She had a new boyfriend they didn’t like. They had reason not to like him, a really f**king good reason, and Andy knew what to do.

Martin and Curtis’s Mom either dumped a boyfriend that was abusive to her boys or her boys were moving in with Shirleen.

Their Mom dumped her boyfriend.

Then she pressed charges.

With what he did, her ex wouldn’t have much fun in prison.

* * * * *

They released me after a few weeks and I went to Vance’s cabin.

Vance and I bickered about this. Nick and I bickered about it too. They didn’t want me sleeping on my couch nor climbing up to the bed platform.

They ganged up on me. It was clear they had made the decision without my input before I was released and I had no choice. This I found alarming as it might not bode well for my future.

My head crackin’ mamma jamma was still with me, however my strength had leaked out onto the floor of Sal Cordova’s living room and it was going to take a little while longer for me to get fighting fit.

So I gave in.

Vance took me to his place, driving a new, black, GMC Sierra that Ally told me that Indy told her that Lee told her that Vance bought because he didn’t want me riding around in his rickety old truck and I was certainly in no shape to ride on the Harley.

Daisy and Roxie had packed up a bunch of my clothes and Nick had packed up Boo, his litter, food, treats and toys and Nick took my cat and stuff Vance’s cabin.

Unfortunately for Vance and Nick (it was fortunately for me, I thought it was hilarious), the cabin wasn’t nearly as restful as they thought it would be namely because everyone came with great regularity, and stayed for great lengths of time. Tod and Stevie set up an ongoing Yahtzee tournament that lasted for weeks (Jet won). Heavy even brought a punching bag there, set it up in Vance’s second bedroom and when I was up and around he sat eating Ding Dongs and Oreos and other chocolate-flavored snacks with dubious cream-like filling and drilled me relentlessly.