“I was cocky,” I broke in and my eyes slid to Vance who’d moved to the other side of my bed. I didn’t exactly want him to know this part since it might piss him off. However, I also didn’t want Hector to go on blaming himself for something that was my fault.

I went on. “Earlier that night, I’d had too much to drink and I didn’t tell you that. I walked right in. I didn’t think. I saw Roam and just went in. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine. I didn’t think.”

“I shouldn’t have –” Hector began.

“You did the right thing, I didn’t. Please don’t worry about it. It was my fault.”

He stared at me a beat and I stared back noticing, even though he still was in undercover-disheveled-mode (and seriously needed a haircut but who was I to say all that thick, dark hair needed to be cut, mainly because, longish and messy, it looked hot), he was a seriously good-looking guy. He had Eddie’s edge, the one that made you wonder about him, made you think he could turn to the dark side in a nanosecond.

Eddie had it under control. Hector did not.

After we stared at each other awhile, he nodded and left without even a glance at Vance.

When the door closed behind him, Vance said, “Jules.”

My gaze slid to him, I took one look at his face and then I closed my eyes.

“I need an angel nap,” I said and I wasn’t lying. I did need an angel nap. I also needed an excuse to avoid a Vance Lecture and that’s where angel naps came in handy.

Before I slid into my angel nap, I heard, “Jesus, you’re a pain in the ass.”

* * * * *

Second, Roam was released before I was, for some reason to Shirleen who the hospital thought was his grandmother (a fact that Andy came from the Shelter to confirm, lying like a pig in mud).

The bullet had hit Roam in his right side, luckily missing any vital organs. He was motionless on the floor because on his way down he smashed his head against Cordova’s coffee table and it knocked him out. So not only was he beaten bloody and shot, he also had a serious concussion.

During a visit to me, Sniff explained that Roam didn’t feel much like letting Shirleen mother him during his convalescence at her house. This was mainly because Shirleen wasn’t a motherly-type person who cooed and spoiled and ran herself ragged making certain that Roam had every comfort. Instead, she told Roam what to do, like, a lot. Things like rest and study with Stu (who came over to work with Roam and Sniff) and not to fill his head with too much junk by watching television but instead she gave him books to read. I knew it freaked out Sniff but Roam put up with Shirleen, then again he was probably scared not to.

Where Roam went, Sniff went, so Sniff was staying with Shirleen too.

When Roam was fit enough to take to the streets again, Shirleen told both him and Sniff they were welcome to stay as long as they liked.

They told me since Shirleen lived in “one phat crib” they decided to stay awhile even if staying with her had rules.

It was a long time later that I realized that during all of Roam and Sniff’s visits they never cursed.

Not once.

* * * * *

By the way, Roam and I never talked about it, him trying to save my life and me taking two bullets to save his.

However once, while I was still in the hospital, I caught him looking at me funny. I grabbed his hand and mine went tight.

So did his.

For a second.

Then he pulled away.

With a fifteen year old runaway that was all that needed to be said and it was the best he would allow me to give him and it was the best I was going to get.

I was happy with that.

* * * * *

Needless to say I wasn’t pregnant. I’d asked a nurse in a quiet moment and she told me there was bleeding, what kind of bleeding she couldn’t say.

After I got out of the hospital, my periods resumed as normal and I went right on the pill.

My body, the nurse told me, had been through too much trauma not to miscarry.

Whether I had been or hadn’t been, I’d never know.

* * * * *

Third, about four days out of ICU, the girl gang showed up one afternoon with a juicy piece of gossip.

Indy, Ally, Jet, Roxie and Daisy all waltzed in grinning like fools. They hung around my bed as Indy told me that Lee had fired Dawn.

I didn’t gasp because that was a luxury I didn’t have at the time (it hurt like a bitch, so did laughing, moving and breathing). So I just widened my eyes and my mouth dropped open.

“Apparently,” Indy said, loving every minute of this, “Mace and Monty were in the surveillance room and for shits and giggles they flipped on the sound and visual to the reception area. Dawn was on some call to a girlfriend and she was talking about you. I don’t know what she said but Mace and Monty went ballistic. They called Lee and Lee was with Luke.”

Daisy let out a tinkly laugh and rubbed her hands together and I knew that we were getting to a good part.

“Lee and Luke went directly to the offices,” Indy continued, “Lee walked right in and told her to pack up her desk; she was fired.”

“Luke escorted her out of the building,” Roxie threw in, her eyes alight.

“They taped the whole thing,” Jet added.

“Brody even cut it into a music video with some old footage of her scowling and glaring and making catty phone calls. He gave it a soundtrack ‘The Bitch is Back’. It’s f**kin’ righteous! I can’t wait for you to see it,” Ally said, grinning like a loon.

“Yeah, we all went down there and watched it a billion times. Dawn was totally pissed when Lee fired her. It was great!” Indy finished.

Considering the fact that I’d had a near-death experience, I knew I should be a better person, live my life doing good deeds and not be bitchy, even when it was being bitchy about someone who was a bitch. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help being pleased that Dawn had been fired. Especially since everyone seemed so happy about it.

And of course the stupid bitch was talking about me.

* * * * *

Fourth, Luke came to visit me.

I was getting a lot of visitors. The girl gang; Tex and Nancy; Tod and Stevie; Duke and Dolores; Shirleen; Heavy and Zip. May came by all the time, full of stories from the Shelter (and carrying with her purloined pudding cups). Frank slunk in, talked to me for five minutes and slunk out, clearly uncomfortable with sunlight shining on him even through a window. A bunch of my kids came and the Nightingale Men came too, Mace, Ike, Bobby and Monty. Then, of course, there was Nick and Vance who spent the evenings with me mostly kicked back and boring me to death by watching endless football games, talking about who would win the Heisman Trophy and shit like that, luckily I was drugged out most of the time and slept a lot.