I sighed and continued moving my hands over her arms.

“So you and Nat?” Alyssa whispered, her voice still sounded hoarse.

“Wow, news does travel fast in this town. To be fair, she was actually on the news with me for like an entire year.”

“Remember, I don’t watch TV.”

“I thought you said you didn’t have TV.”

“I lied.”

It was torture trying to keep my eyes from looking down at her chest, as her breathing slowly came back to normal. I clenched my teeth and looked away.

“What do you want to know?”

“You guys dated?”

“Yup.”

“What happened?”

“Lots happened.” I swallowed. It wasn’t that I wasn’t over Nat. I just had a hard time talking about my own stupidity to a girl I was trying to impress, and I knew that if I told her the whole sob story she’d run away screaming. I mean, I was a complete prick to my brother and to her. I didn’t want Alyssa thinking that I was the same guy anymore. Because I wasn’t.

“It’s a long story. I’m happy for her, though, we’re still really close.”

“That’s it?” She pushed away from me and shivered.

I cursed and pulled her close again. “Tell you what. A secret for a secret.”

“W-what?”

“You heard me.” I reached down and tilted her chin up. “If I tell you something that’s hard for me to discuss, then you need to tell me something that’s hard for you. That way we’ll be even.”

Alyssa tried to pull her chin away. I wouldn’t let her.

She glared.

I smiled.

We were like fire and ice, and I loved it.

I could tell she was getting uncomfortable, because she refused to look at me; instead she bit her lip. “I’ll try.”

“Good.” I released her chin, but she didn’t move to the position she was in before. Instead, she leaned forward.

Alyssa’s lips were parted just slightly. Now that the panic was over, I remembered what they felt like to touch. Just one kiss.

What girl freaks out over one kiss?

I cupped her face and touched my lips to hers, just barely. I didn’t want to scare her, and I didn’t want the kiss to be one of those kisses that happen after a near-death experience.

Her mouth was warm and inviting; it tasted like the ocean. I had never been one for good self-control. I used my tongue to part her lips, just a bit. I wanted to taste more.

She stiffened, and then opened her mouth.

I took full advantage.

My arms went around her waist, pulling her tighter against me. In the back of my mind I remembered that my wetsuit was too tight for me to be in any state of arousal, but I didn’t care.

Trouble. She was absolute trouble. Clearly she had no idea how good of a kisser she was. As her tongue tangled with mine, her cold hands came up to cup my face. I allowed myself to completely lose control. Never had I ever felt the need to be so vulnerable with another human being.

It scared the hell out of me.

I pulled back.

Her face was flushed, her lips swollen. I wished in that moment I could convey to her how beautiful she was to me, how wanted she was, how treasured she was. I wanted to lay claim to her, but at the same time just hold her hand. I wanted to sleep with her, but at the same time, the idea was almost repulsive. She deserved more than what I knew I was capable of giving.

But it didn’t keep me from wanting to give it to her.

To give her everything.

I sighed. “You’re a good friend.” And insert nail into relationship coffin here.

I wrapped my arms around her and picked her up, not allowing her to say any sarcastic remark back. My lips found hers again as I twirled her around.

After a few minutes I pulled away and placed her on her feet. “Can you walk?”

“After the kiss or after my near drowning?” She lifted an eyebrow.

“Oh, I totally forgot you almost died. I was just thinking about the kiss,” I teased.

Her eyes widened and then a horrified look flashed across her face. She jumped away from me, jerking up her wetsuit.

Without saying anything she took off toward the boardwalk.

“Lyss, wait up.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“What? Lyss, what happened?” I grabbed her wrist to try to get her to stop.

“This was a mistake. We can’t be friends, Demetri. It won’t work.”

“I agree.” I cursed. “I want to be so much more than that.”

What the hell was I doing? I’d known her a total of two weeks, and that didn’t really count, considering I’d been stalking her! Drugs. I needed drugs, not a girlfriend!

Alyssa licked her lips and looked away. “I don’t know if I can handle it.”

“And I can?”

She looked at me. I mean, really looked, as if she could see to the depths of my soul. “We’re screwed up, you and me.”

“Don’t I know it.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “But what if that’s what makes us perfect for each other?”

“What if you take the one part of me that’s finally started to breathe without crying?”

Her honesty shocked me. I didn’t have any words to give her. I didn’t think one mind-blowing kiss would cause us to get this serious.

“Slow.” I reached out to her, grazing her arm with my hand.

“Let’s go slow, because I really need a friend right now.”

“So it’s about you?” Her eyes crinkled as if she was trying not to smile.

“Always is. I am a celebrity you know.”

“Right.” She laughed and kicked some sand with her foot.

“We should get cleaned up.”

“Dinner.” I blurted before I could retract the statement and punch myself in the face. “Let me cook you dinner.”

“Are you good?”

Confused that she would ask such a silly question I laughed.

“I’m good at everything. Yeah, I can handle dinner.”

Alyssa didn’t look convinced.

“Please?” I was ready to get on my hands and knees. She was the first person since Cassie who had made me feel things I thought I didn’t possess anymore.

With a huff she kicked more sand. “Fine, but no kissing.”

“I can’t promise that I won’t kiss you.”

Her eyes narrowed.

“Fine, I promise I won’t kiss you unless you ask me to.”

“Confident.” She arched an eyebrow and laughed.

I didn’t really know what to say to that, so instead I leveled my gaze in a challenge. “I’ll see you at seven.”

“But I don’t know where you live.”

“The piece of paper you probably threw in the trash — my address is on that.”

“It’s trash day. It’s already gone.”

I sighed. “Do you really want to play this game? You know you dug it back out, minutes after you tossed it. So see you at seven.”

My self-control completely shot, so I left before I mauled her on the beach and had my way with her.

Chapter Eleven

Alyssa

I knocked on the door and cursed myself for being so nervous. It was Demetri. Annoying, irritating, gorgeous Demetri. I had wanted him to kiss me, but after the kiss I felt nak*d. As if he had pulled down walls I had worked so hard to put up. The part that scared me the most was that for a moment I forgot all about Brady, all about everything.

I lost my pain, and it scared me more than I was willing to admit. I wanted to keep Brady’s memory alive. It was my job, after all. I wasn’t able to do it in the physical sense, so in the emotional sense was all I had.

And then Demetri had said something about death and I freaked. I completely panicked. A vision flashed through my mind of Demetri and me driving and him dying. I knew he was reckless, knew he used to have a drug addiction. Chances were higher with Demetri than any other boy that he would either break my heart or die from some sort of stupid choice. Yet I couldn’t bring myself to stay away from him.

I even dug out some of my nicer clothes. I hadn’t really put an effort into dressing since Brady left, mainly because most of my clothes held memories of him. It felt like I was cheating when I wore them without him there. Well, except the sweatshirt.

My mom finally made me wash it after six months.

I sighed and looked down. I was wearing torn jeans, an oversized black band t-shirt, and flip flops. I knew I looked at least trendy compared to the oversized sweater and Uggs I’d been sporting.

I lifted my hand to knock, when the door swung open.

“Right on time.” Demetri opened the screen door and pulled me into a warm hug. He smelled like spaghetti. I smiled, unable to help the way he was able to so completely disarm me.

“Punctuality. It’s my thing.” I gulped and walked into the house. His hands came down on my shoulders.

“Wanna know what my thing is?”

I gulped. “Cooking? Drugs? Music? Fish?”

His hands slid down my arms, sending chills all the way down to my toes. “Wow. I sound really lame. Is that all you could come up with?” He chuckled.

Why hadn’t his hands moved? Why was I letting him pull me back against his firm chest?

“Girls with brown hair,” he murmured into my hair. “Short ones.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.

“Anyway.” He released me and walked around, leading me down the hallway. “Here’s the kitchen. Dinner’s almost ready.

Would have been done sooner, but somebody burnt the noodles.”

“You burnt the noodles, I take it?” I grabbed a bar stool and sat down.

“No. Mr. Concentration over there.” He nodded toward the couch where a large man was sitting with a grimace on his face.

Holy crap. I’d only seen the guy from far away. Up close he looked like a hit man, like the type of guy you pay to off drug dealers.

Wait, maybe he was a drug dealer?

I pushed my hair behind my ear and swallowed nervously.

“Bob!” Demetri yelled his name like a curse. “Didn’t think it would be important to tell me that he’d never cooked noodles before.”

“How does one burn noodles?” I directed my attention to Bob, who stood up and made his way over to the kitchen. His face betrayed his lack of amusement as his eyebrows drew together.

“Hmph.” He grabbed a soda out of the fridge and gave Demetri another glare before stopping in front of me. “I’m Bob, Mr.

Daniels’ security guard.”

“Oh.” I laughed. “I thought you were a drug dealer or some sort of crazy parole officer.”

His mouth cracked into a tiny smile before he turned back around and made some sort of animal sound as he settled on the couch.

“You’ll have to excuse Bob,” Demetri said, his back to me as he cooked some sauce on the stove. “Ever since I’ve been clean, I’ve been driving him crazy. He has to go to the taffy store with me every day. I think he’s gained ten pounds.”

“Which begs the question.” I turned toward Bob and smiled.

“How much taffy does one have to eat in order to gain ten pounds?”