“Why?”

“Just some things I have to figure out.” I grabbed my shirt and put it on.

“What things?”

“Things I don’t have any control over right now.”

“You mean what happened overseas?”

“Sort of. I’m going to get some…” God, why was the word so hard to say?

She squeezed my hand, tugging a bit.

I forced the word out of my mouth. “Help.”

And just like that, a giant weight lifted itself from my shoulders. I was going to get help. I wanted to get help. Not just for Jade. Not just for Ryan and Jonah and Marj.

For me. I wanted to get help for me.

“What kind of help?” she asked.

I sighed. “The kind I’ve put off for far too long.” I kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry to leave you like this. I hate it when that asshole is in town.”

“Don’t worry about that. He won’t bother me.”

“No, he won’t. Because I mean to have someone watching this place and you night and day until he’s gone.”

“Talon…”

“No arguments, blue eyes.”

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. This has got to be the safest town on the planet.”

No, it wasn’t. I knew all too well.

“Besides, you can’t control me, Talon.”

She was right about that. As much as I wanted to control her, there was simply no controlling the little spitfire that was Jade Roberts. That was part of what I loved so much about her. But I could control whether Colin Morse got anywhere near her. “Don’t worry,” I said. “Nothing will intrude on your daily life. Besides, only one day until court.”

“You’d better show up in court, Talon,” she said. “This is more important than I think you realize.”

Funny. She was right. I hadn’t realized. Oh, I understood the law and the trouble I was in for beating the shit out of that asshole. I understood that she had gotten me a sweet deal. And I knew more than anything how it felt to be locked up. Being locked up would probably have been the end of me.

But like I had for the last two-plus decades, I hadn’t let the significance sink into my brain. I had been existing for twenty-five years. Existing in a gray haze.

Now I wanted to live.

 

“Thanks for coming in on the weekend again.” I sat down in the hunter-green leather chair that I remembered from a few weeks ago.

Dr. Melanie Carmichael nodded. “It’s no trouble at all, Talon. I’m really glad you called.”

“I’ll make sure you’re paid double for seeing me on a Sunday.”

“Don’t you worry about that. My regular fee is fine. And I will bill you.”

A big lump clogged my throat. I had to finish this. I had to be honest with the therapist.

“So tell me. I’m curious,” Dr. Carmichael said. “What propelled you to contact me this morning?”

“My brother has the hots for you.” I had no idea why I said that. It just popped out. Joe would probably have my head, but it was way easier than telling her why I had called her.

She smiled, and her cheeks pinked just a bit. She glowed in a lovely way. I could see why Jonah was enamored with her.

“He’d probably kick my butt if he knew I told you that, so can you keep it on the QT?”

She laughed. “Perfectly fine.”

“I have to go to court tomorrow.”

“Why is that?”

“Remember last time I was here, and I told you I’d beat a guy up?”

She nodded. “I remember.”

“An attorney got a deal for me. I have to pay a five-hundred-dollar fine and pay the guy restitution. It avoids any prison time.”

“That’s great news.”

I nodded.

“But I doubt that’s what brought you in here.”

“You are good,” I said sarcastically.

“Well, it didn’t take any of my education or experience to figure that out.” She smiled.

Uneasiness wove a path through my brain. Jagged pieces of the previous evening mucked up my mind. Couldn’t start there. Not yet. “I really don’t know where to begin.”

“I usually tell my patients to start at the beginning, but I’m not sure that will work for you. The last time I asked about your past, you didn’t have the greatest reaction.”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry about that.”

“There’s no reason to be sorry for fainting. But I have to warn you, you will continue to have these kind of physical responses until you work through whatever is gnawing at you inside.”

“What makes you think there’s anything gnawing at me?”

“Talon. I’ve been doing this for ten years. I can tell. In fact, I’m pretty sure a layperson on the street could tell.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” My hackles rose.

“Calm down. I didn’t mean anything by it. But you called me for a reason.”

I clenched the arms of the chair. My fight-or-flight response was kicking in. Adrenaline coursed through me. I wanted either to run or beat something.

“That’s not the answer,” she said.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“No, but you’re thinking. You’re thinking you want to get the hell out of here. I can see it in your body language, in your eyes.”

“So you’re a body-language expert now?”

“Of course I am. I’m a psychologist.”

I relaxed my hold on the chair and willed my heart to stop thundering against my chest. “All right,” I said. “I’m ready.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Jade

“Jade”—Marj’s voice was urgent—“you’ve got to come over here now.”

The phone had rung while I was brushing my teeth, and I could barely talk through the toothpaste.

“What’s wrong?”

“I found some stuff hidden in Jonah’s room.”

“What are you doing in Jonah’s house?”

“I was curious. I’m tired of the guys not telling me anything. I knew Joe was going to be out in the pastures this morning, so I came over, let myself in, and did some digging around.”