“Yeah, well, it’s only fair. He drives me nuts. All his sex quizzes and the hammering, nailing, and screwing. And how am I supposed to concentrate in French class with him always breathing on my neck and whispering in my ear?”

Logan grins at me.

“What?”

“You really like him.”

“Don’t you have to get on stage or something?”

Friday, October 28th

Make it up to me.

2:57pm

Dawson texts me right before school’s out.

Dawson: Meet me by the field house. I need to talk to you for a second before I leave for the game.

I walk down to the field house and find Dawson standing outside waiting for me. He pulls me into a big kiss, right as Aiden walks out of the door.

I see Aiden literally recoil.

I smack Dawson’s shoulder. “You wanted him to see us kiss, didn’t you?”

Dawson smiles. “Who, me? I just wanted to kiss my girl before I get on the bus. Nothing wrong with that.”

“What’s wrong with that is I’m not your girl.”

“It’s also our anniversary. One month since I asked you out.”

“We can’t have an anniversary when we’re not going out, Dawson. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”

I’m pissed.

But as I march away, I realize that I’m no better than he is. I’ve been wanting the same thing.

I pack up my dance bag, darken my makeup, and change into tonight’s game outfit.

Then I sit down and text Aiden.

Me: I’m sorry about that. I’ve got so much on my mind and he just . . . I’m sorry, okay?

Hottie God: Sorry you did it, or sorry I saw?

Me: Both.

Hottie God: Not sorry enough to stop kissing him.

Me: I’m sorry!

Hottie God: I don’t think it’s enough :)

Me: Why the smiley face?

Hottie God: You’re going to make it up to me.

Me: And how am I supposed to do that?

Hottie God: The list is going to be long.

Me: I can handle it.

Hottie God: My demands: #1. Sit next to me on the ride home.

Me: Fine.

Hottie God: #2. Hang out with me tonight. Late.

Me: Done.

Hottie God: 3. Don’t go to Riley’s.

Me: I have to. It’s his birthday.

Hottie God: So that’s the only reason you’re going? Shit. Never mind. I don’t want to compare the relationship. Regardless of what’s going on with you and Dawson, we’re taking it slow and going at our own pace.

Me: We’re teenagers, aren’t we supposed to fall head over heels in love?

Hottie God: I did that 8 times last year. None of them worked. I’m trying a different approach.

Me: Uh, okay. So any other demands?

Hottie God: Yes. #4. Points for dances tonight.

Me: Deal :) And Aiden . . . I have a demand.

Hottie God: What? I’m in the position of power here, not you. You don’t get demands.

Me: I’m not much for following rules ;)

Hottie God: No shit. What’s your demand?

Me: Naw, I guess you’re right, I should play fair.

Hottie God: Tell me.

Me: Naaaaaw. Never mind.

Hottie God: Boots, NOW!

Me: Don’t tell me what to do.

Hottie God: Fine. Don’t tell me. Then I won’t have to do it. I didn’t want to anyway.

Shit. What just happened? He was supposed to beg me to know.

Me: Okay, then I won’t tell you that my demand was that you score a lot of points. For me. Just for me. So you can dance with me. Hold me tight. But that’s okay. You don’t want to. Never mind.

Hottie God: You are difficult to negotiate with, do you know that?

Me: That depends. Are you giving in to my demand?

Hottie God: Absolutely.

Me: I like getting my way :)

Hottie God: Yeah, I know.

Me: I’m sending you a mental four-leaf clover. Good luck tonight, Aiden.

Hottie God: I gotta go now. I have a pre-game ritual I need to follow. It helps me concentrate. See you after the game :)

Over and over again.

11:15pm

I’m sitting with Aiden in the very back of one of the buses. Since Dawson went home with his parents after the game, I didn’t have to worry about any drama. On the way to the games, the football team, band, cheerleaders, and spirit squad, all have to ride in different buses. Mostly because the football team always leaves before the rest of us, so they can warm up. After the game, we all leave at the same time, so it gets all mixed up.

“So, we need to talk about sex.” Aiden says.

“You wanna talk dirty?” I tease, hoping to avoid this subject. Because I know sex isn’t what he wants to talk about. He wants to talk about my sex with Dawson.

“Maybe later.”

“So, you had a good night,” I tell him. Please let him be distracted. Please.

“It doesn’t help the team when the quarterback won’t throw to a guy that’s wide open.”

“Do you think that was on purpose?”

“Hell, yeah, it was on purpose. Add to that his two interceptions. We’re lucky that we got down close enough for me to kick all those field goals.”

“Five goals. Fifteen points and a win. Although, that’s not very many dances.”

Aiden runs his finger across my palm.

I move to kiss him.

“Ow!” I say, as he reacts to my sudden movement by bumping his head hard into mine.

“Damn, Boots, I managed to get through the game without a scratch. Now you give me a concussion while I’m on the bus.”

I lean back, holding my eyebrow and studying him. “I’m sorry.”

He gently pulls my hand away from my eyebrow, leans in, and kisses it. Right on top of the big ugly bump I can feel forming.

I think he felt it with his lips because he moves his face away and gently runs his finger across the top of it. “I’m just teasing you. I’m fine, but your eyebrow is swelling up. Let me get something.”

He slides out of our seat, walks carefully up the aisle to the front of the bus, grabs a couple of water bottles out of a cooler, and walks back.

He holds the cold bottle against my eyebrow.

“I think the kiss worked better,” I murmur, holding my breath, and hoping he will kiss me.

He moves the bottle away and examines my brow. “You might be right.”

I breathe out right before he leans in and kisses me. Not on the eyebrow, but on my lips.

I don’t even remember anything else from the long bus ride back to school. There was nothing but feeling Aiden’s hand holding mine. Feeling his perfect lips touch mine. Over and over again.

By the time we get back to school, it’s past curfew, so he just tells me good night as Katie and I head to our dorm.

Katie sits on her bed, bouncing slightly. “I had so much fun tonight.”

“You sat by Bryce.”

“I know. He’s seriously the nicest boy I’ve ever met. We talked and talked and talked. I don’t even know what all we talked about, but there was never a lull. Or those awkward silences when you don’t know what to say. One time, he accidentally brushed my hand. And I got these goosebumps all the way up my arm. I really like him. We have to go to the party tonight.”

“The party? I didn’t know there was a party.”

“Sure there is. Aiden and Bryce’s rooms. Like always.”

“Oh.”

“Why do you seem upset? You like to party.”

I put on a fake smile. “I do, but Aiden didn’t mention a party.”

She frowns. “But you sat next to him the whole way home. Didn’t he ask you to come?”

“No,” I say.

We agreed to points for dances. And now he’s having a party? Did he change his mind?

“Are you going?”

“Probably not. I’m tired. I have rehearsal early and then I have to catch the train to go to Riley’s.”

Her phone buzzes with a text. She smiles. “It’s Bryce.”

I go in my closet, feeling like I want to cry.

Instead, I focus on my clothes. When I’m finished packing, Katie is going out the window.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m going to bed.”

I throw on my pajamas and lie down in bed.

My phone buzzes, but I ignore it. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to hear some lame excuse for why there’s a party in his room. Why he decided not to dance with me.

A few minutes later, there’s a knock on my window. I cover my head with my sheet and pretend not to hear.

My window opens and Aiden pulls the sheet off my face.

“Why didn’t you answer your phone or come to the window when I knocked?”

“Maybe I was asleep,” I reply coolly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I need to sleep and you should probably get back to your party.”

He sits on my bed, sighs, and runs his fingers through his hair.

I hate when he does that. It makes him look even cuter.

“I didn’t know about the party. Everyone just assumed.”

“Whatever.”

“I want to dance with you.”

“Not enough. I’m going to sleep. You can let yourself out.” I pull the sheet over my head.

He pulls the sheet back down. “Is there any reason why we can’t dance here?”

“I’m in my pajamas.”

“I’m okay with that. Did you notice that when I got your phone out of jail I put our 29-song playlist on it?”

“You did?”

“Yeah. So, we’re alone. We have music.” He looks up at my ceiling. “We even have stars. Please?”

I let out a huff. “You aren’t going to let me go to sleep if I don’t, are you?”

He gives me an adorable grin. “Nope.”

“Fine.”

He grabs my phone, pulls up a playlist I didn’t know I had, turns the volume on really low, and pulls me into his arms.

I try to be stiff at first. But I dissolve into a pile of mush any time he touches me.

He puts his forehead gently against mine and sways with me.

After a couple songs, he says, “So, Boots, I was wondering if you would be my escort for the Compass Cup. Wear my jersey. Walk me out on the field. Go to the banquet with me. Be my lucky charm?”

I get a pained look on my face. Shit. “Um . . .”

“Dawson already asked you, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, but he said it was just for seniors.”

Aiden purses his lips. “I’m sure he knew it’s for varsity starters, just like it is every year.”

“I don’t know . . .” I start to say.

He closes his eyes tightly then glances at my phone. “Yeah. Hey, I better get back to my room. Make sure it’s not getting trashed.”

“Dawson didn’t ask me to go to the banquet with him. I could be your date for that.”

He pats me on the back and says, “Uh, yeah, sure. See ya later, Boots.”

Then he bounds out my window.

And he didn’t even let me finish my frickin’ sentence. I was going to say, I don’t know, it’s hard since I already said yes, but I want to wear your jersey.

Because I do want to wear Aiden’s jersey. I would die to wear it.

Every time I think we might have a breakthrough, it ends like this.

And this sucks.

Saturday, October 29th

Mentally unstable.

11am

Dallas and I are on the train.

“Did you have fun last night?”

Dallas grins like a cat that ate the canary. “I did.”

“With which girl?”

“Chelsea.”

“You seem like you’re kinda into her. In more than just a hooking up kind of way.”

“Naw. We’re having fun. I’m still talking to other girls. Not ready to make a choice yet.”

“Oh, so why is that okay for you? But you keep telling me that dating more than one guy isn’t going to work.”

“Because my heart isn’t involved. Yours is.”

“Maybe I don’t want my heart involved.”

“But it is. You like Aiden. You’re afraid, though. And that’s understandable. You fall in love, you get hurt. It makes it hard to fall again. You should stop fighting it. Decide if you want to go for love or settle for hot sex.”

“Are you settling for hot sex?”

“Absolutely.”

“I’m not sure I would consider Dawson settling. He’s sweet.”

“Was the I heart hotel bath time with Keatie post sweet?”

“He says it was, but I’m pretty sure he did it on purpose.”

“I know he did it on purpose. He wants Aiden out of the picture.”

“Aiden’s mad at me again.”

“Why?”

“Last night he asked me to be his escort for the Compass Cup, wear his jersey, and be his date for the banquet. But I had to tell him that I had already agreed to wear Dawson’s. But since Dawson only asked me to wear his jersey and not go to the banquet, I told Aiden I’d go with him.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Did he agree to that?”

“Sorta. I mean, he said yes, but then right away he said he had to go check on his room. And he didn’t kiss me goodbye, which means he was mad. Which pisses me off because he didn’t let me tell him that I didn’t know about all that stuff. Dawson told me it was just for seniors. I figured it was no big deal since Aiden’s not one.”

“So Dawson lied.”