Tilda’s hands were trembling as Kasper slid on the ring, and she laughed nervously. From where I was standing I could see Kasper, and how his love for Tilda warmed his dark eyes when he looked at her.

To seal their matrimony, they kissed. Tilda put her hands on his face, and Kasper put his arm around her, and the kiss was chaste but passionate. As they embraced, I wondered if I’d ever seen two people who loved each other more.

THIRTY-SIX

interlude

Ember never missed an opportunity to dance, and she was out on the floor, twirling around underneath strings of fairy lights. Devin had been chosen as her reluctant dance partner, and she pulled him along with her, forcing him to keep up with her moves whether he wanted to or not.

After the ceremony, we’d moved to the reception in the adjacent party room, which was really just a small ballroom built for occasions like these. A three-piece orchestra had been set up at one end of the room, with Tilda’s sister Ilsa singing with them. Ilsa had an astonishing range and an amazing voice somehow suited perfectly for the covers of Etta James, Rosemary Clooney, and Roberta Flack that she was performing.

I sat at the side of the room, trying to hide in the shadows as I sipped my sparkling wine and watched the dance floor. Since Tilda and Kasper had invited so few people, it left the floor rather sparse, even when most couples were dancing together.

Unfortunately, that made it all too easy for me to see through them to Ridley at the other side of the room. He was standing near the buffet, absently picking at the vegetable skewers on his plate, and when he looked up at me I quickly looked away.

Tilda had been slow dancing with Kasper, their arms around each other as they talked and laughed, but she stepped aside so Kasper could dance with his little sister. As she walked across the dance floor toward me, Kasper spun Naima around, making her giggle uncontrollably.

“Is your plan to hide in the corner all night?” Tilda asked with a crooked smile, as she sat down in the chair next to me.

“I’m not hiding,” I lied and took another sip of my wine.

“Mmm-hmm,” she intoned knowingly.

“It was a beautiful ceremony,” I said, changing the subject.

Her smile turned wistful as she watched her new husband. Naima had taken to standing on Kasper’s feet, and he held her hands as they waltzed around the room, both of them smiling and laughing.

“It really was,” she agreed.

“I’ve never seen Kasper happier.”

Watching him now, so relaxed and beaming, reminded me of what he’d said the day before. Work was important to him, but it wasn’t his life. It wasn’t what defined him, and it wasn’t who he really was. This—the guy dancing with his kid sister, smiling at his wife—was Kasper.

His words had stuck with me, and as I watched him I couldn’t help but wonder—if the balance of working a job that mattered and having a life outside of it was possible for him, could it be possible for me too? Had I been wrong in assuming I had to choose one over the other?

“You’ll have to talk to him eventually,” Tilda said, pulling me from my thoughts, and I looked over to see her gazing at me seriously.

I thought about playing dumb and asking who, but I knew Tilda would see through that, the way she always saw through my acts.

So instead I simply said, “I know.”

“I don’t know why you’re avoiding him, but I know you are,” Tilda said, and she raised her hand to silence me before I could stutter out some kind of excuse. “It doesn’t matter right now. I just think you should go talk to him before it gets even harder to.”

Ridley was still standing on the other side of the room. Kasper’s dad had been talking to him, but the conversation appeared to be finishing up, leaving Ridley alone again.

“The bride is always right on her wedding day,” Tilda added. “So you know I’m right when I say that you need to do this.”

I took a fortifying breath then finished my glass of wine in one large gulp. “Okay.” I stood up, smoothing out my bridesmaid dress, and looked down at Tilda. “Will you be okay here by yourself, or do you want me to wait?”

“No, go!” She shooed me away with a smile. “I just wanna sit here another minute, and then I’m sure Kasper will have me out dancing again.”

My heart was pounding so hard as I walked across the dance floor, I could hardly hear the music over it. I kept reminding myself that it was only Ridley, that I’d talked to him a thousand times before and this wasn’t a big deal.

Of course, I’d never talked to him after having a one-night stand with him.

He smiled thinly at me as I approached, and I wished I’d had another glass of wine before making my way over.

“Hey,” I said when I reached him.

“Hey,” he replied, and then I realized in terror that I couldn’t think of anything more to say. I’d thought as far as saying hey, and now I was trapped in an awful moment where I could only stare at him.

“The wedding was great,” I blurted out suddenly, because it was something to say.

“It was.” He nodded, then motioned to me. “You looked beautiful.”

I lowered my eyes. “You don’t have to say that.”

“I know.” He paused. “I wanted to.”

“Well, thanks.” I offered him a small smile.

I wasn’t sure if I should tell him he looked good too, because he definitely did. His dark hair was just slightly disheveled, as if he couldn’t completely tame it. He was clean shaven, which he rarely was, and his tan skin looked so smooth. The vest he wore over his dress shirt was fitted perfectly across his broad shoulders, and the first few buttons of his shirt were undone, showing off just enough flesh to make me crazy.