Author: Olivia Cunning

“It’s just me and Eric here. Don’t mind us. We’ve heard it all before.”

“Can I watch?” Eric asked eagerly.

“No, this is different. He won’t let me in if he thinks you guys can hear him.” She leaned close to the guys and whispered so Jace couldn’t overhear. “He always worries about what you guys think of him—that you won’t accept him for who he is. We’ll work on that eventually, but right now, I need to help him bury his mother.”

“His mother died?” Sed asked, looking stunned. “When?”

“Around fifteen years ago. You didn’t know?”

Sed shook his head. Both he and Eric glanced down the corridor at Jace, who was trying to play it cool by leaning against the door frame. He looked ready to leap out of his skin.

“He never talks about himself,” Sed said. “He has this wall thing he does.”

Aggie knew exactly what Sed meant. Jace’s wall. He hid behind it often, and once he put it up, it was nearly impossible to tear it down. “I’m working on that too,” Aggie said. “So, do you think you could get lost for an hour?”

Sed climbed to his feet. “Yep. I could use a workout anyway.”

“And keep everyone off the bus?” Aggie added.

Eric pulled a drumstick from the inner pocket of his leather vest and held it across his chest like a sword. “I shall guard this dwelling, m’lady, and vanquish all who dare attempt to trespass.” He took a stab at Sed with his improvised weapon. “Back, foul beast.”

“With this guy as your knight, you’d better be sure to lock the door.” Sed slipped into his jacket and headed down the bus steps.

Eric winked at her and loped after Sed. Aggie closed the bus door and secured it. She took a deep breath and let Mistress V come to the surface. As much as Aggie would have loved to help Jace by talking, listening, and showering him with love, she knew she wouldn’t get through to him that way. But Mistress V could. Mistress V could break him. Mistress V would break him.

She stalked down the hall. “Get in there,” she demanded, shoving him toward the bedroom. He stumbled sideways through the open doorway.

“Why did Sed and Eric leave?”

“Do you want them to hear you beg?”

“I won’t.”

She lifted her eyebrows. “Wanna bet?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, actually—”

“Take off your clothes.” She went to the closet and lugged his big suitcase out. There had to be something in there she could use.

She found the chain and the cuffs on top of his tools of pleasure and climbed on the bed to suspend them from the ceiling.

“Aggie, what—”

She hopped off the bed and grabbed him by the ear. “Mistress V,” she corrected.

“Mistress V,” he said breathlessly.

“I told you to strip. Take off the sling too.” She released him and returned to the suitcase. She found a paddle, slapped it against her thigh, and set it aside.

Jace made short work of his clothes and moved to stand over her shoulder, peering into the suitcase. “I think there’s a riding crop in there somewhere.”

“Did I say you could speak? Go tip the mattress and box spring against the wall.”

“Why?”

“Don’t question me.”

He did as she asked and revealed a wooden platform under the mattresses. Perfect.

“Stand there,” she pointed to the center of the platform, right beneath the restraints.

“I don’t like to be restrained.”

“No one asked what you like.”

“But—”

“We do this my way or not at all.”

He glanced at the restraints and then down at her. He nodded. Gave up his power, except his willpower. But she planned to take that too and give him more in return.

She climbed onto the platform and took his left hand. She lifted his arm above his head, and he held still while she fastened the cuff around his wrist. Before she could secure his other hand, he sank his fingers into her hair and pulled her mouth to his, stealing her thoughts with a deep kiss. She might have him chained to the ceiling, but she was the one ensnared, and she knew it.

When he pulled away, she stared into his eyes. “Don’t hate me for this, okay?”

“I don’t think it’s possible to hate you.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” She carefully lifted his injured right arm, watching for signs of distress. The only distress he showed was when she tried to remove the leather cuff on that wrist. “No, don’t take that off.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want you to.”

She shrugged and secured his other wrist over his head by fastening the restraint over his studded bracelet. “Is your shoulder okay in that position?”

He nodded. She got to work.

She paddled him until he trembled with excitement and then set the implement aside. She moved to stand behind him and gently ran her hands over his chest and belly while she trailed gentle kisses along his shoulders and back. As she figured he would, he fought his restraints. She continued her tender caresses until he twisted out of her grasp.

“Not gentle, Aggie. Please, I can’t stand it.”

“Mistress V,” she reminded him.

“Hit me, Mistress V. Now.”

“I don’t think I will,” she whispered, spooning against him and running her hands over his belly and his most sensitive places inside the ridges of his hip bones.

He chuckled. “Ah, tickles.”

That laugh. It made her heart ache with longing. She almost didn’t have the stomach to continue.

“Your mother’s failure wasn’t your fault, Jace,” she said.

He went still.

“She still could have been a concert pianist. You weren’t standing in her way. She was standing in her own way. She did it to herself and used you as her excuse.”

“Don’t tell me about my mother. You don’t know anything about her.”

She should have expected his anger to surface first, but it wasn’t the reaction she was looking for. She had to push harder—dig deeper. God, she hoped he didn’t hate her after this. She didn’t know if she’d be able to handle his hatred, even if she did this for his own good. “She was a selfish bitch, Jace. Why are you defending her? What kind of mother blames an innocent child for her own failure?”

“Don’t say bad things about my mother, Aggie.”

“Why not?”

“She was my mother.”

“Yes, she was, but she was also a person. A person who hurt you. I don’t like it when people hurt those I love.”

“Need to inflict all the pain yourself? Is that it?”

She slapped his ass with the paddle, and he groaned, his head tilting back.

“I don’t hurt you the way she did,” Aggie said.

“But you’re trying to.”

“No, I—”

“Do you think I’m stupid, Aggie? That I don’t know what you’re trying to do? You think I’m broken. You think you can fix me. All that ‘I love you’ bullshit doesn’t mean a damned thing, does it? You don’t love me. Not the real me. You love who you think you can make me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Yeah, it is. Unfasten the cuffs. I’m done.”

So that was his game. She wasn’t going to release him—no matter how unaffected he pretended to be.

“I’m not. Not even close to done.” She tossed the paddle aside and caressed his skin with her hands and her lips. Touched him. Kissed him with the same tenderness he frequently showed her.

After several minutes, he pulled away, yanking on his restraints. “Okay, you win. Let me go. My shoulder hurts.”

“What do you mean, I win? Do you think this is a game?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you blame yourself for your mother’s death?” she asked. “Or just for her failures in life?”

“Shut up.”

“Do you think she would have been more successful if you’d never been born?”

“I said, shut up, Aggie! I’m not in the mood for games.”

“Do you wish you would have died in that car accident instead of her? Do you think she would have been happy if you’d died? Do you—”

“Shut up, Aggie.” He yanked on his chains hard now, trying to pull the hook from the ceiling. “Just shut up. You don’t know a goddamned thing about how I feel.”

“Because you won’t talk to me. If I’m wrong, then tell me how you really feel.”

“You’re not wrong,” he shouted. “Okay? I do wish I’d died instead of her. I did ruin her life.” He took a deep shuddering breath. “Just… just let me go. Take the cuffs off.”

“Then you’ll run. You’ll hide.”

“That’s all I know how to do. It’s all I can do. Hide from it. If I don’t, it will find me. Hurt me. Until I feel like I’ve been eviscerated. Until death would be a blessing.”

She touched his face, and he looked into her eyes. She’d never seen his pain this close to the surface. It tore at her heart.

“I love you,” she whispered.

His gaze drifted to her forehead.

“Look at me, Jace. I want you to believe what I say. I want you to see it in my eyes.”

After a long moment, his eyes settled on hers.

“I love you,” she said.

“Why?”

“I need a reason?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. She was losing him again. And she had plenty of reasons. She wasn’t sure which one would get through to him.

“I love the way you make love to me, so tenderly, and with such care, that I feel like the only woman in the world.”

“That’s just sex, Aggie.”

She caressed the crease in his forehead gently. “It’s more than that to me. It’s a way to connect with you. I love your smile, your laugh, your ticklish spots.”

His eyes opened.

“I love how you put everything you are into your music.”

He smiled slightly.

“I love when you confide in me. I know you don’t do that with many people. It makes me feel like you trust me, and somewhere in there, you know I love you, even if you don’t think you’re worthy.”

“I’m not worthy.”

“You are. I’m not such a great person, Jace. I have a dark past too—things I wish I could take back, change, but I realized long ago that you can’t change the past. You have to let it go. Move on.”

“I can’t forget, Aggie. I’ve tried.”

She shook her head. “You’ll never forget. You shouldn’t forget, but you have to forgive yourself. And there’s nothing to forgive as far as your mother is concerned. Being born is not something that needs to be forgiven.”

He stared at her, his defenses crumbling. “I never told her good-bye, Aggie. I was too afraid.”

“Why were you afraid? Tell me.”

He didn’t lower his gaze as he spoke. “She looked like a monster. The accident twisted her body, smashed her face. Every inch of her was swollen and broken and bloody and bruised. I couldn’t stand to look at her. My father told me I’d better tell her good-bye before it was too late, but I ran away and hid. I hid for hours until my father found me. He beat me so badly that I couldn’t get out of bed. I missed her funeral. I couldn’t stop him from getting rid of her piano. I was too weak. And too scared.” His eyes brimmed with tears. “There was nothing left of her for me to hold on to. Nothing.” He took a deep shuddering breath. “I should have said good-bye. I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t…” Tears dripped from both eyes, and he squeezed them shut.