Seth

 

I shake my forearm as an unbearable pressure radiates from my elbow. Before I know it, I’m on my back and Don has his legs over my chest while he straightens my arm out. I feel my joint pop and I shout out in pain. No¸ no, no, no, no.

 

“No!”

 

I try to pull away but it only makes the pain worse.

 

“Seth!” Multiple people are screaming my name, but I can’t single them out.

 

There’s a second pop and my free arm feels heavy, like it’s made from solid gold and I can’t tap. Under my straightened arm, the one being squeezed against Don, I feel his chest vibrate with laughter, then, he flicks his hips forward…

 

…and my arm breaks.

 

 

 

I jolt back to reality, breathing hard. I take in my room, subtly lit by the rising sun. I run my hands over my face, clearing off a small layer of cold sweat.

 

I’m home.

 

I haven’t lost.

 

It’s not over yet.

 

I ignore the rapid, unsteady thrum of my heart. It’s beating through my chest like a jackhammer to concrete. I stretch my arm out in search of Olivia’s warmth. There’s a brick of despair in my stomach as I ponder the possibility of her not being here. After I shut her out last night, it wouldn’t surprise me. When my fingers brush against her spine, the despair disintegrates and I slide closer. I bunch her up in my arms and feel her tiny body relax, as if I’m all she needs in order to sleep well. My heart slams against my ribcage and I wonder if she can feel it through her back. I bury my nose in her hair and inhale. Her smell, the sweetest, sexiest scent I’ve ever smelled in my life, pours into my lungs. It works its magic. It flows from my lungs and into my ribcage… it grips my heart and soothes it, returning it to a normal pace. I exhale and relax completely as I run my fingers over her taut belly, feeling her abdomen for something… I don’t really know. I felt cold last night… when I turned away from her. I shouldn’t have, but she already had my confidence wavering. What if Selena’s right? Could it be happening? Could I be well on the way to fatherhood? No… I can’t. I’m not ready. I need time to learn something—anything about being a father. No. I need to focus on my career. I need to beat Don before I think about anything or anyone else. I’ve been working way too hard these past few weeks to give up now. I’ve stopped as much emotion as I can—I’ve even resorted to treating Olivia like shit in order to keep my mind on track. You’d be surprised how easy it is to push yourself harder when you force yourself not to care. I peer at the window and the luminous glow that seeps in around the edges. It has to be close to training time. I glance over my shoulder at the alarm clock on my bedside table and sure enough, I have two minutes before I have to get up and begin training. I’d much rather stay in bed with my semi-naked, smoking hot wife, but alas, I have routines to perfect and assholes to beat. With incredible difficulty, I pull away from Olivia and slide from the bed.

 

When I go downstairs, Darryl and Jackson are already waiting for me. I regret giving the hotel permission to give Darryl a key card. Perhaps then I could skip on a few sessions and remain in bed, where I truly want to be.

 

“Are you ready, Seth?” Darryl calls from the bottom of the stairs. He bites down on a crunchy, green apple and beams up at me.

 

I nod once. “Let’s do it.”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

By the time I’m done, my chest is heaving and my body is coated in a thick sweat. Darryl and Jackson lean against the window—Darryl is filling things out on his little clipboard and Jackson rests his head back against the glass—topless and just as sweaty as I am. All of his tattoos are on show—from his right hip to the top of his neck. I warned him against the excessive tattoos, but it seems he has no problem looking like a drug dealer.

 

“Well, I’m not going to say I hate living here,” Selena announces, smiling to herself as she drops onto the couch with her bowl of cereal. Her eyes rake over Jackson and I, and we smirk at her. She’ll say just about anything that comes to her pretty little head.

 

By the windowsill, my phone rings and I dive for it, silencing the annoying ringtone before it wakes Olivia. I still can’t believe she’s asleep. The amount of noise we made during this training session I thought would’ve woke the entire hotel. I pause and look toward the stairs. Nothing. Olivia is still asleep.

 

“I take it she’s not a morning person?” Jackson chuckles, his green eyes glowing at me.

 

He enjoys seeing me like this—wrapped around a female’s finger. “Not at the moment.”

 

“Who is it?” Darryl asks, not glancing up from his paperwork.

 

I look at the screen and freeze. “Fuck.”

 

Matt Somers. I slide the green key and bring the phone to my ear. “I have the feeling I’m going to regret answering this.”

 

Matt chuckles. “C’mon, Seth. Why do you always assume I have some secret agenda every time I call?”

 

“Because you do, but if by some miracle you don’t this time, leave me alone. I can’t stand small talk.”

 

Darryl and Jackson lean closer, straining their ears.

 

“Right.” He laughs nervously. “I just thought I’d touch base and see how you’re doing. How are things? How’s your wife?”

 

“Small talk,” I warn him with a growl. “I’m busy.”

 

“All right, all right.” He laughs once. “I called you because Don’s training team noticed you haven’t been using the gym.”

 

“They finally noticed? I haven’t been training there for a while, Matt.”

 

Jackson and Darryl’s eyes widen then narrow.

 

“Why not?” All amusement has drained from his voice and taken on a new edge.

 

“You know exactly why. I’m not training under the same roof as that pig and I’m not playing your fucking game. I know what you do. I know you feed off our confrontation so I’ve locked myself in my hotel room.”

 

He snorts. “You’re running, Seth? I didn’t pick you to be that kind of—”

 

“I’m not running,” I snap. “This may be a joke to you, but this is my life and my career.”

 

“Your career, you say? Well then, since you put it that way, as your boss, I’m telling you to crawl out of your fucking shell and make some public appearances. If you want to survive in this business, kid, you best listen carefully. I own you, do you understand? You do what I fucking tell you to. You punch when I say punch, sit when I tell you to sit, and jump when I say jump.” He pauses and my phone creaks as I squeeze it in my hand. The nerve of this asshole. “I’ve had punks like you before, Seth. Ask me where they are now? It’s in your best interest to listen to me, and for your sake, the fight better make it into the history books or your ass is grass.”

 

He hangs up and I lower the phone before dropping it on the carpet. He’s going to force me into his game… and I don’t have a choice. I have to play right into their hands or risk losing everything.

 

That’s it. I know what I have to do.

 

“We’re going out,” I announce, storming toward the stairs.

 

“Where are we going?” Jackson calls after me.

 

“To find Don.” I clear the steps two at a time. If Matt wants a public appearance, he’s gonna get one. He’s gonna get the biggest spectacle he’s ever seen. I’ll start a Goddamn riot and bring it down on the MMAC. Matt Somers is going to wish he never asked me to play his game. I like games—more importantly—I like to win, and I will win.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn’t hard to locate Don. Selena found his Twitter page and the moron posted a photo of his location with a slim blonde perched nicely on his lap. It’s nine a.m. and he’s at the Aria’s ellipse pools with the girl, sipping on daiquiris. It seems he’s not as serious as me about his training. If he thinks he’s got this in the bag, there’s something wrong with him.

 

Darryl warned me to stay away from Don. He begged me to ignore Matt’s words, but I couldn’t. I’m going to destroy Don—not physically, not this time. The game I play will be purely mental. I’ll hit him so hard he’s going to enter the training room and not come out until the night of the fight. I want him to steam from the ears and swear on his life that he’s going to obliterate me. It’s time I get into his head and keep him from mine.

 

I left Olivia in the bathroom when I left this morning. She wasn’t feeling so good and seeing her on the floor, lying sleepily against the cool the tiles sent dread slamming into my stomach. She’s going to take a test today and I have to prepare myself for the outcome… whatever it is. I told her I loved her and that I’ll stay out of trouble… even though I knew the second part was a lie.

 

The Aria casino is gorgeous. It stands tall, looking shiny and beautiful with its subtle curves. If I ever come back to Vegas, this is where I’ll stay. Olivia would love it, too. With another mutter of disapproval, Darryl pulls up in front of the casino.

 

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing, Seth?” Jackson asks from the backseat.

 

I nod. “This is the only way to keep Don and Matt out of my life until the fight.”

 

“And after the fight, then what happens?” Darryl chimes in, his voice patronizing and aggressive.

 

I shrug my shoulder and open my door. “We’ll see.”

 

Darryl throws up his hands in exasperation. “We’ll see?”

 

I slip from the car and straighten my black tee. Both Jackson and Selena follow suit, but Darryl remains seated, his fingers gripping the steering wheel.

 

“You coming?” Jackson calls to him over my shoulder.

 

“I want no part of this.”

 

I push my door and it slams shut. I don’t need Darryl’s help, anyway. At most places, he sits like an angel on my shoulder, telling me what to do and what not to do. I can’t have that today. I need to revert back to a time when I didn’t give a shit, to a time when I only had Jackson and my own free will.

 

It doesn’t take long for us to find the pools. Selena is quite the wiz with her phone and managed to find directions directly to it. I told Jackson not to bring her, but now I’m glad we did. It saves us having to sweet talk our way through hotel staff in order to get in. Instead we walk around like we’ve been here for years and when curious stares linger too long in our direction, we throw our arms around passing drunks and pretend we’re a part of whatever they’ve got going on. It’s not fool proof, but it works.

 

The pool is full for this time of the morning and there are a lot more intoxicated people than I anticipated. I scan the area, looking up and down the ellipse pool for a bald headed man who’s probably smiling too hard, laughing loudly, and being a total dick.

 

“There!” Selena points out. “Over by the bar.”

 

Sure enough, in the enclosed area on the other side of the pool was an obnoxious, bald-headed Don, laughing his ass off as he pinches his lady friend on the ass. She squeals and swats him away. She’s beautiful—long, golden hair, a killer body, and long legs. I feel sorry for the girl… not because she’s stupid enough to mix with Don, but because I’m going to use her to tear this place apart. His entire team is there, too—from his coach right down to his sparring partner. If shit goes down, that might be a problem for us. Jackson and I can’t take on six guys, no matter how good we are. However, I’m hoping this doesn’t escalate to a physical level… or Don and I are both done for.

 

“All right, Selena, go have fun. Jackson and I have some shit to do.”

 

She slips in front of me—preventing me from stepping any closer to the bar. “Like hell, you’re going to need me.”

 

I cross my arms tightly over my chest. “I’m going to need you?”

 

She nods. “That’s right. I saw you looking at that girl. If you want her attention, you’re going to need my help.”

 

Jackson snorts, making me chuckle. “I’m going to need your help getting a girl’s attention? Jackson’s right, you are crazy.”

 

Selena narrows her eyes. “Listen to me, Mr. Macho, I have no doubt that you can get her attention, but Don is going to see you before you get within reach. When he does, there goes your plan.”

 

“What are you suggesting?”

 

Without a word, she grips the hem of her shirt and pulls her sky blue tank top over her head. She stuffs it against my chest and adjusts her tiny, tiny white bikini. “I’ll get his attention.”

 

The fabric exposes large portions of her generous breasts and is so thin I can just see the dark circles of her nipples underneath. I clear my throat and look away, peering over my shoulder at Jackson. He shrugs, all with a lazy smile on his face. I would be forcing my shirt onto Olivia and dragging her ass back to the hotel if the roles were changed.

 

“He doesn’t mind,” Selena says, glaring around me at Jackson. “We’re not anything, right?”

 

He doesn’t answer straight away, but when he does his voice is dark and punishing. “Right.”

 

With a smirk, she unbuttons her denim skirt and pushed it down her legs before scooping it up with her toes and wrapping her phone in the fabric.

 

“This is my plan now. Get the other girl’s attention and then go along with whatever I do.” She thrusts her stuff at me and turns away. Before she leaves she quickly turns back, her eyes suddenly pleading. “Shit is probably going to get a little weird, so whatever you do, don’t tell Olivia. She’ll hate me forever.”

 

“Can’t you at least tell me what the plan is so I know?”

 

She shakes her head and teases her hair with her fingers. “If I tell you, you’re not going to like it, but I promise you it will piss Don off more than anything you come up with on your own.” She winks over her shoulder before strutting off toward the bar with a seductive sway on her hips.

 

She knows exactly what she’s doing… she knows exactly how to get a man’s attention and Don is going to eat it up.

 

Jackson and I circle the pool, going counter-clockwise until we’re at the opposite side of the bar. We take up two stools against the wooden bench and order a beer each. I wasn’t planning on drinking mine, but it seems Jackson has another idea. He downs his beer in less than thirty seconds and signals for another.

 

“Thirsty, Jacks?”

 

He flips me off and goes back to his beer. I guess this is harder on him than he thought it would be. Selena’s in view, casually strolling along the poolside and using her hand to shield her eyes from the morning sun. She slowly turns her body and steps toward the bar. Then she stops and nods her head at something on the far side of the pool.

 

“Beer?” she shouts, drawing the attention of every bar patron in sight. “A pitcher of beer?”

 

Selena gives her phantom friends a wave and a thumbs up. Then, she jogs, her breasts jiggling, as she makes her way toward the opening where Don sits. I look at him—his attention is no longer on the girl beside him whose ass he was squeezing a few minutes ago. It’s on Selena—his attention is sticking to her like hot glue, and judging by the way Jackson downs his second glass and orders another tells me he noticed, too.

 

Selena leans against the bar beside Don, jutting her ass out as she chats with a bartender. He dismisses the other blonde and shifts closer to Selena. She peers over Don’s shoulder, tilting her head towards the pouting blonde, who comes to rest against the bar beside me. I guess I’m up.

 

The other blonde orders a martini and I wait for my chance to engage her in conversation. She handled her dismissal like a lady. There was no bitterness, no swearing, or cat fighting—only an understanding nod of the head. A bartender places her drink down and walks away. She grasps the stem between her two slender fingers and twists it slowly.

 

“You’re not going to drink all by yourself, are you?” I ask, angling my knees in her direction. I lean my elbow against the bar and smile at her. My smile feels forced and fake, but I doubt she’ll notice. The girl turns her head to me and her entire body tightens. Her lips part as her eyes take me in and she lets out a slow, steady exhale. She didn’t notice.

 

“Not if I don’t have to.” She slides her martini glass along the bar until it’s up against mine. Just like that, I have the fly in my web. She inches closer and her eyes flare.

 

“What’s your name?” she asks, tapping a long, slender index finger on my thigh.

 

“Seth.” I point over my shoulder. “This is my friend, Jackson.”

 

He gives a half-assed groan.

 

“I’m Tahney.”

 

“I see you got dumped there, Tahney,” Jackson states and a small laugh rolls off the end of his sentence.

 

I roll my eyes. We’re supposed to be seducing her, not depressing her. Idiot. Tahney’s body stiffens and she reaches for her cup. She takes a long sip and returns it to the surface.

 

“He’s not going to be able to please her, anyway,” he adds. “She’s into some really strange shit.”

 

Fucking hell. The girl giggles, forgoing her previous discomfort. “How do you know?”

 

Jackson shrugs with a wicked smile. “She gets around—and Don Russell’s dick is tiny. He’d never be able to satisfy a girl like her—or you.”

 

We all look at Don. He presses a small cube of ice to Selena’s chest and drops it into her cleavage. The melting ice slides between her breasts and down over her firm stomach. She doesn’t move, nor do her muscles tremble. That’s some amazing control. I have to give her that. I pant and wince like a bitch when it’s ice bath time. I can’t stand cold.

 

Jackson spits under his breath. “Tolerance to ice. I taught her that, you know.”

 

I shake my head. Of course he did. God forbid he teach a girl a normal trick like, I don’t know, how to give a blow job. Not everyone likes to play with ice… blow jobs, on the other hand, everyone wants one of those. Suddenly the music fades out and the conversation between Selena and Don can be heard. I strain my ears to listen for a hint on what I’m supposed to do next.

 

“You look very familiar,” he says to her. “Are you sure we haven’t met before?”

 

Selena licks her cherry colored bottom lip, keeping her eyes locked on his. “I’m sure.”

 

Tahney perches between my legs, rubbing my thigh through my jeans. I look sideways at Jackson, who shakes his head and goes back to sipping on his beer. It’s all for the greater good. So Olivia and I can be left alone. She’ll understand.

 

Selena leans in close and Don doesn’t move. He’s completely entranced by her, caught up in her spell. I hear Jackson growl beside me, but I don’t move. As their lips are about to graze, her irises flick to mine and she pulls her head away, gasping.

 

“Seth Marc?” she squeals, fleeing Don’s grip. She bounds over to me looking all horny and excited. It makes me uncomfortable. “Oh my God! I can’t believe it.”

 

Tahney swears under her breath and goes to grab her glass, but I snatch her wrist, keeping her in place. I can feel the uneven strum of her pulse and I hate that I’m affecting someone who isn’t Olivia.

 

“I’m Selena,” she states, clasping her chest. “I’m such a big fan.”

 

It takes all of my will power not to laugh or roll my eyes. She’s good at acting, that’s for sure. Selena turns to Tahney and the gleam she gets in her eyes sets me on edge.

 

“I love your hair.” Selena runs her fingers through Tahney’s hair, tugging slightly. “Is it natural?”

 

Tahney nods, pinching the tip of Selena’s hair between her fingers in return. “Yours is natural, too?”

 

I’m no idiot. I’ve seen this before and now I know exactly where Selena’s going with her plan. Why take one girl from Don when you can take two? I’m not sure if I’m terrified by her genius or impressed. I wonder how many times she’s done something like this. It rolls off her shoulders too naturally for it to be her first time. Selena moves her face closer until her lips are barely an inch away from Tahney’s. I watch intently because… because I’m a fucking guy and it’s happening right in front of me. Before their lips touch, Selena moves her mouth to Tahney’s ear and whispers something I can’t hear. Then, both pairs of eyes fall onto me. There’s no innocence in their eyes… the blue ones held lust, the green? Determination. They move in, digging their nails into my legs as they bring their lips closer to mine. I look over their heads at Don, who turns in his seat, confused as he watches us. I glance back at Selena and keep my eyes on her. I don’t know why… I guess it makes me feel like less of an asshole, like I’m closer to Olivia. If I kiss Selena, maybe there’s a higher chance of forgiveness if she finds out later on. Her eyes reflect my own discomfort and I can see her apology flare in the green depths of her eyes. Not a second later, they both suck my bottom lip into their mouth and I feel… fucking horrible. I’m not a genius, but I know this is technically cheating. I try to reason with myself… this is for the greater good. Matt won’t put extra stress on me after this. When I’m stressed, I take it out on her. What I’m doing now will make me a better husband. A calmer husband.

 

“Marc?” Don snarls, pushing off of his stool. It slams against the bar, making the bystanders nervous. “Does your wife know what you’re doing?”

 

The girls release my lip.

 

“Wife?” Tahney spits. I shrug as she snaps her body away from me and storms off without a glance over her shoulder.

 

I don’t chase after her. I don’t even try to offer an explanation and it’s simply because it means nothing to me. With her gone, I can breathe better.

 

“That’s none of your business,” I reply, casually picking up my beer and sipping it.

 

I’ve come this far. It can’t all be for nothing. I wrap my arm around Selena’s waist, grip her jaw, and pull her into me. Her eyes widen and her head shakes minutely. I had to go through with her plan, now she can put up with mine. Don isn’t pissed off enough for my liking. I crush my mouth to hers, but make damn sure to keep my tongue where it belongs. In the distance, I hear chairs being shoved out of the way and people screaming. As I release Selena, she’s yanked from my arms by one of Don’s men.

 

“I don’t fucking think so!” Jackson shouts, pushing past me. He advances on the man, and with a yelp, Selena ducks as Jackson grabs a fistful of the guy’s shirt and drives his fist into his face. He releases Selena and stumbles backward, clenching his face as blood leaks from his nose and seeps through his fingers. There’s a pause… a long, tense pause, then there’s a shout and all hell breaks loose.

 

I bunch up Selena’s stuff and hand it to her. “Take your things and meet us at the car.” She takes off without hesitation as security and people swarm into the bar. Chairs are flying and blood is going in every direction. A riot. I actually started a riot. Don is glaring at me from the other side of the bar, over the top of the brawl. He can’t hit me, but I can see it on his face, he’s never wanted to hit me as badly as he does now and I take it as a win. I beat him at his own game.

 

I’m pulled from my stare down with Don as I’m shoved forward. My heart rate increases and I whirl around. It’s Don’s sparring partner… all seven feet of him. I’ve never fought anyone so much taller than me before. He swings and I duck, wrapping my arms around his hips. I drive him backward until we crash and fall over the prostrate stools. I pin him to the floor and rear my fist back. As I let it go, it’s caught and doesn’t connect with his face. I look over my shoulder.

 

“Darryl?”

 

“Get out, Seth!” he snaps, pulling me off the guy. “I warned you and look what’s happened!”

 

“Darr—”

 

He turns his dark eyes on me and I nod. I’ve never seen them look so dark. I’ve pissed Darryl off a lot in the past—probably more than I should have—but never have I ever seen him this mad. I push through the fighting, ducking and dodging stray fists. Security guards are swearing and demanding people to back off. In the distance, I hear police sirens blaring and I wipe the sweat off my head. As I make my way through the hotel, my heart continues to pulse at a rapid speed and a heavy feeling sinks in my stomach. Now I have to go home to Olivia… the girl whose lips mine weren’t against just minutes ago. Forget what Selena said, I have to tell her. She’ll understand when I explain it. If there’s one thing Olivia is, it’s understanding. I have to make it up to her. I don’t want her to think for a second that I desire someone else.

 

She is mine…

 

I slump against a wall and drop my head. …I don’t want anyone else.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

My phone buzzes in my pocket as Darryl drives us back to the hotel. Selena and Jackson sit in the back, but they’re ignoring each other—everyone is ignoring each other. I don’t mind it. The silence gives me time to gather my thoughts and work out exactly what I’m going to say to Olivia. With a heavy exhale, I reach for my phone. I don’t bother looking at the screen as I bring it to my ear.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Ah, Seth. I can’t say I was expecting you to answer my call.” Matt Somers’ voice rings through my ear. “Quite a mess you left for me to clean up today. You cost me a lot of money.”

 

“That’s what you wanted.”

 

“What I wanted was a display of feathers, maybe a little rough housing. Not a Goddamn riot.”

 

A tense silence fills the ear piece and then he chuckles under his breath. “I want to be mad at you. I want to demand that payment for the damages comes out of your pocket and you deal with the legal proceedings… but, I won’t. Your stunt sold an extra three thousand seats.”

 

I frown. “It did?”

 

“Oh yeah. Taking both of Don’s girls, that was genius. He’s gone mad, posting how badly he wants to destroy you all over the social networks. He even did an interview for the local paper. People are buzzing and that’s exactly what we want.”

 

Matt is counting this as a win… so why do I feel like shit? “Right.”

 

“We’re over our margin, too, so no more pressure for public disturbances. I don’t want you costing me anymore money.”

 

I relax at his words, letting my head fall back against the headrest. “All right.”

 

“And hey, maybe Olivia and my wife can get together sometime and share tips. My wife loses her shit when she catches me with other girls.” He laughs a sinister laugh and farewells me before hanging up. I lower the phone, resting it against my thigh. Now it’s over… I’m really starting to regret it.

 

“He’s not mad,” I tell Darryl, who doesn’t blink an eye in my direction. “And he said I shouldn’t have to make another public appearance with Don.”

 

“Good. Now all that’s left for me to do is feel sorry for—”

 

“Don’t feel sorry for me,” I cut him off bluntly.

 

“I don’t feel sorry for you.” He snaps his head in my direction, his dark eyes narrowing. “A man could be holding me at knife point, threatening to slit my throat and I still wouldn’t betray my wife. It’s Olivia I feel sorry for. She has to be seen out in public with you after you’ve been seen with a random woman and her best friend. ” He looks back to the road. “I thought I taught you better than that.”

 

“It’s not like that, Darryl.”

 

“Isn’t it?”

 

“No, it’s not,” I growl at him. “Olivia will understand.”

 

He nods slowly. “That’s what upsets me.”

 

My entire body tightens and my fists clench. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

 

“She is going to forgive you—even you know that. Olivia doesn’t know any better… and it upsets me because she deserves better. She deserves better than Blade… and she gets stuck with you. After you tell her, and you will tell her, you best spend the rest of your life making it up to her… or someone else will.”

 

I turn my head towards the window. I don’t want to talk about it with him anymore. He has a unique talent for making you feel worse than you already do. I’ve always known that Olivia deserves better than me and I tell myself that every damn day… and now I’ve given her a reason to tell herself that every day, too. She’s going to look at me and see me as the monster that put his career before her—who put his lips on her best friend.

 

I feel sick.

 

I feel like a fucking sell out.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

 

 

Softly, I tap my fingers against the door to our room. I’m not quite ready to bring myself to swipe the keycard. Once I open the door, my life is going to change—our relationship is going to change regardless of whether I tell Olivia what happened today or not.

 

“Are you going to open the door?” Selena asks, her voice thick with attitude.

 

I glance over my shoulder at her. Jackson didn’t say a word to either of us as we entered the hotel. Him and Darryl went their separate ways, leaving Selena and I to handle Olivia. They were both pissed at us… maybe I shouldn’t have kissed Selena that second time.

 

“Give me a minute.”

 

Selena’s voice takes on a cautious tone. “You’re not going to tell her, are you?”

 

Squeezing my eyes shut, I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I have to.”

 

“Seth—”

 

“She is my wife!” I snap as quiet as I can. “I can’t keep secrets from her… and I won’t. The kiss didn’t mean anything, we did it for Matt, right?”

 

She nods her head in confidence. “Right, but Olivia isn’t going to see it that way. Trust me, Seth, I know her better than anybody. She’s going to explode, like a grenade.”

 

It’s when people say these kinds of things to me I wonder if they know her at all. Olivia doesn’t explode, she talks. She wants to know every thought and feeling behind every decision. I’m going to hurt her and I’m probably going to make her cry, but I won’t lose her. I know she’ll understand. She has to understand.

 

“You might know her better than Darryl or Jackson, but you don’t know her better than me, and if you’re so driven to keep something like this from her, perhaps you should surrender your best friend title.”

 

She blows out an offended breath of air. “You can deal with this one on your own, then. I’m going to see Jackson.” She whirls around on her heel, sending her curls everywhere. “Don’t come crying to me if she explodes in your face.”

 

Choosing to ignore her dramatic exit, I swipe my keycard and enter the room. It’s dead quiet and it forces a guilty panic to rise in my throat. Does she already know? I close the door, straining to hear any sound coming from Olivia. Nothing. I peer around every corner and around every object before finally making it to the stairs that lead to our bedroom. Step by step I take until I reach the very top.

 

“Seth?” Olivia sniffles from the bathroom. “Is that you?”

 

Her voice crashes into me and I stop. I run my hand over my face, inhaling heavily and expelling it quietly. “Yeah?”

 

“I, uh, I waited for you…”

 

I step closer to the bathroom and each shoe feels like it’s filling with wet sand.

 

“I thought we could do this together… if you want.”

 

Suddenly the room I’m standing in becomes claustrophobic. It doesn’t feel like my place. I feel my pulse pounding away in all major points of my body—neck, wrist, chest, ankles—and my ribcage clamps down on my lungs. I run the palms of my hands over my jeans to reduce some of the sweat, but it keeps coming.

 

“Seth?” She peers around the bathroom door and the sight of her bright, green eyes still me. Have they always been so bright? So beautiful?

 

My pulse slows to normal and I feel it only in my chest. Her hair is a tangled mess, her cheeks are pink and flustered and her lips a swollen red. I’ve been out doing stupid, selfish shit and she’s been here the whole time worrying about us, thinking about us. I swallow my anxiety… because she needs me. She needs my support. I stroll closer and the sand filters from my shoes with every step I take, getting lighter and lighter until she’s in my arms. Her small limbs wrap around my body, squeezing me to her as hard as they can.

 

“We’re going to be okay?” she whispers, her fingers digging in.

 

“I promise.” I don’t hesitate with my response… maybe if I say it fast enough it’ll come true.

 

Olivia drags in a shaky inhale and releases me. Swiping at her eyes, she turns around. We enter the bathroom, a bathroom that suddenly seems too small to fit us both. I lean against the sink as she paces back and forth, making me nervous. She taps the test in the palm of her hand, over and over to some irregular beat. I don’t rush her. Instead, I watch… just waiting for her to decide when to do it and secretly hoping she doesn’t.

 

“All right,” she mutters under her breath. “It’s now or never.”

 

Nervously, she taps the little white stick against her hand again before dropping her hands to the buttons on her jeans. They pop open and she drags the denim down her legs before quickly lowering herself onto the toilet. My pulse stutters as she peers shyly up at me through her long, dark lashes. “Can you look away?”

 

“Me?” I say, feigning insult. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

 

“You’ve seen a girl pee on a stick?”

 

I shrug, giving her a lazy smile. “I’ve seen worse.”

 

“Ew.” Olivia cringes with a giggle. “I guess I kinda walked into that one, huh?”

 

I nod, laughing. “I guess you kinda did.”

 

She pulls the cap off of the stick, revealing a small white tab. She swiftly slips it between her legs, hiding it from sight. “Fine, you can watch, but don’t listen.”

 

“I’m standing less than six feet away. How am I suppose—” I pause and stick my fingers in my ears. “Better?”

 

Her plump little lips curve into an innocent smile and her lips move, but I don’t hear what she’s saying. She drops her eyes to the floor and surveys the tiles. I do the same. Thirty seconds barely pass and she shifts on the toilet, pulling my attention. She brings the stick back into view and I hold my breath as she stares at it. Her eyes don’t falter or betray any sign of what it says. She reaches for the cap and clips it back into place. I look away again, giving her privacy while she finishes what she’s doing. When she’s on her feet with her jeans all buttoned up, I pull my fingers from my ears and cross my arms tightly over my chest. Olivia’s face is neutral and it’s like I’m a ghost she can’t even see. She crosses the bathroom and places the stick face down on the counter so I can’t peek. I grow anxious… I chew the inside of my lip and stare down at the stick… what does it say?

 

She turns to me, finally, but she avoids my face.

 

“One means no,” she whispers. “Two means—”

 

An invisible balloon in my chest deflates as she falls against the counter, her hands flying to her face as she cries into her palms. I’m unable to move… completely frozen by what I’m seeing. I reach for the stick and roll it over.

 

Fuck.

 

I guess two lines mean yes…