“Well, I mean—” She peeked over her shoulder at Jake, who was sitting at his desk now, and quieted her tone. “Cole Mauricio. Even that name is scary. I saw the news coverage about Carter Reed. There was a mob war, and some of it happened here. That guy was their hit man, and now what? Is he out? We don’t really know anything. Yeah, I’m worried. I’m really worried. I don’t want to lose my boyfriend and my best friend.”

He was their hit man. I’d read that online the night before, but hearing those words out loud sent chills down my back.

“Jake’s a mob nut. The geek inside of him is doing somersaults. He can’t see this as reality. Someone really dangerous lives here.”

Carter Reed was dangerous. Cole was dangerous. My throat closed. Cole could kill someone, probably already had…and he’d been inside me just hours ago. And I knew he’d be there again tonight. And the night after, and any other night as long as I let him. I didn’t think I could stop. I didn’t think I wanted to stop.

“Why aren’t you scared?” She grabbed my arm, holding it lightly as she moved closer. “Why am I the only one who’s nervous?”

Because… I had a vision of Cole holding me in the shower as he thrust inside of me. His hips moving, holding mine as I moved right along with him. My body heated, and that ache came back. It was always there. It just took a thought, that was it.

He was my drug.

“Addison?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

“You’re insane. Both of you,” she said. “You guys have lost your heads.”

I couldn’t speak for Jake, but maybe I had.

I said my goodbyes, promising to meet Sia for lunch on Monday, and as the elevator closed, my eyes did the same. I leaned back against the wall and felt the car carry me down.

Maybe I was crazy.

Maybe I had lost my mind.

Maybe I had fallen more than I realized.

Just maybe.

As Jake predicted, Liam’s parents dropped the lawsuit two weeks after I saw them. Mahler said it was because they realized they’d caused me enough grief. Jake and his partner laughed at that once the doors closed behind Mahler and his team. A judge would never have allowed the suit to proceed, and everyone knew it. I continued to hope Sia’s prediction wasn’t true, that they hadn’t used it to look at my bank statements as preparation to come back with a lawsuit for Liam’s inheritance. Jake and his partner promised that wouldn’t happen. The inheritance would be protected.

I was pissed at Carol and Hank, but that had faded to annoyance, and the more time that passed without hearing anything from them, even that was starting to dissipate. I preferred not to think of them at all.

For the first two weeks after Sia learned about Cole, she and Jake slept at her apartment. Then, even though the facts hadn’t changed—Cole Mauricio was still in the mafia, and he was still Jake’s landlord—somehow Sia’s concern faded. They were back to sleeping at Jake’s. Sia and I met for lunch every other day, and I had dinner with them at Jake’s a couple times, too.

But I never invited them to my floor—because of Cole.

He came over every night, or almost every night. Each time was different. Some nights we ate dinner, watched movies. Other nights we went straight to bed. And still other times, it was even later. Cole would slide into bed next to me. There were times I couldn’t let him go, and nights when he acted like he’d been starving for me.

We did what normal couples did, but we weren’t a normal couple. I tried not to think about how much I missed him when he wasn’t there or how my body ached to touch him, to feel the answering pressure of his body against mine.

Today was one of those days. I was trying not to count the hours away until he came back. I needed a distraction, and checking my email, I got the perfect one.

Addison,

We have an opening for our column this week. Could you put something together? Let me know asap if you can. If not, we’ll run someone else, but if you can, we’ll save that space for you.

Sincerely,

Tina Gais

Editor-in-Chief

Onlooker Online Magazine

And crap.

I needed to do something. I couldn’t sit around anymore. I’d been more and more restless, and maybe it was time I tried writing again, so I found myself typing on the computer:

Five Ways to Keep Him Out of Your Heart (until you’re ready to let him in)

Okay, ladies. You all know that guy. He’s the guy after the guy. Whether you’ve lost a husband, a boyfriend, a lover, or had a crush that completely crushed you, life goes on. You have to move on too, and whether it has taken you days, weeks, months, or even years, eventually you get there. That’s when that guy shows up.

You start slow. Maybe you just see each other in the hallway. Then you find yourself seeing more and more of each other. You exchange smiles. You stop and talk to each other. After that it may be something more. You make plans. You follow through. You start seeing each other, and bam! After a few times, you’ve officially done what you didn’t think was possible.

You’ve. Moved. On.

But here’s the tricky part. How do you continue moving on without relapsing? How do you protect your heart, keep yourself from being crushed again and experiencing the same agony you just got over, all over again? Use these tips to ensure you don’t get crushed by that guy.

Know your limits. Don’t kiss on the lips or look into his eyes when you have sex. This causes feelings. You’ll feel intimate with him, and that wall around your heart will begin to melt. Back up. Retreat. Don’t go there!