The evening breeze is slightly cool—a perfect night for the hot tub. I haven’t been in a tub since my first night here when Dee and I soaked at the main house. I wore a suit that night, but I don’t have one here. The tub is adequately secluded, so I shed my clothes.

Goosebumps erupt on my flesh. Crap. I forgot to take the cover off the tub. I grab one corner of it and find it’s a lot heavier than I anticipated. With a few breathless moves, I get it pushed to the side. I scurry into the steaming water.

Ah… Heaven.

Penny jumps up so her forepaws are on the rail of the tub. I pet her with a wet hand. “Good dog. Such a good girl!”

She jumps down and runs into the yard, chasing some invisible squirrel or rabbit.

I close my eyes and breathe. Just breathe.

Next to being in Dale’s arms, this is pretty much the best thing ever.

What a freaking day! How wonderful to finally relax, to let the water soothe me. I flip the switch for the jets and enjoy a massage against my back and shoulders.

Yes, this is what I need. Pure relaxation. Pure…solace. Pure…paradise.

“Ashley!”

I jerk. Someone’s touching my shoulder, pulling me out of the hot tub.

“What the—”

“You fell asleep!” Dale shouts. “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?”

“You… What…?”

“You were sleeping. How long have you been out here? Where’s your robe and towel?”

“Robe and towel?”

“Yes. A towel. You need a towel or you’ll freeze.”

I blink my eyes a few times. How long have I been out here? It’s dark. Really dark. Stars are numerous against the black sky. Penny jingles around Dale’s legs.

Towel. I don’t have one. I just… I just…

“I took my clothes off out here. I don’t have a towel.”

“For God’s sake.” Dale strips off his shirt and lays it down. Then he pulls me out of the tub and wraps it around me.

I inhale. Salty pine and cinnamon man. My Dale. The best fragrance ever. I moan and close my eyes again.

“Don’t ever do that again,” Dale is saying. “Promise me.”

“Do what?”

“Fall asleep in the hot tub! You could have drowned!”

Finally, I wake up out of my alpha state. “Drowned? I’m a good swimmer, and the hot tub isn’t even deep.”

“But you were asleep.”

“And if I ended up underwater, I’d wake up.”

“Still. Please. Never again. Promise me.”

“Dale, what’s this about?”

“Just promise me, Ashley.”

His tone is jarred. He’s scared, and I don’t know why.

“Babe,” I say, “you know this isn’t something to worry about. I’m fine.”

“Please.” Again with the tone. It’s fear, and the burgundy color has divided into black and brighter red. Like the parting of the sea. I’ve never experienced a sound-color like this before.

And I know I need to make this promise to him. If I don’t, he’ll… He’ll… I don’t know what he’ll do.

“Okay, I promise. Never again, Dale. I promise I’ll never fall asleep in the hot tub again.”

He lets out a slow breath. “Good. Thank you.”

This is about more than me falling asleep in the hot tub. But I can’t ask him. I won’t ask him.

Because I’ll just be disappointed when he walls himself off and doesn’t tell me.

Chapter Forty-Six

Dale

Donny lifted his head from the kind man’s chest. “I’m sorry, Dale. I tried.”

“No!” I grabbed my little brother into a bear hug. “No, God. I’m so sorry. I never meant… I’m so glad you’re okay. That you’re alive.”

“But we made a pact.”

“It was a stupid pact. We were starving and hurting. But now we’re not. I want to live, Donny, and I want you to live too.”

It was a stupid pact, but to a seven-year-old little boy, it was a blood promise between brothers. Donny had tried to drown himself because I told him to. We made the suicide pact when we were captive, when we didn’t have any hope left.

And after I…

After I did the unthinkable.

Ending our lives seemed preferable to living the rest of them the way we seemed to be destined to, and after I had…

God, can’t. Can’t even think it.

So Donny and I made a pact. If either of us ever had the chance to end our own life, we’d take it. We’d escape from the hell we were living. That was all we wanted for each other and for ourselves.

Donny was seven, though, and when Dad and Uncle Ryan rescued us, he didn’t realize the pact was no longer valid. When Aunt Ruby helped him take a bath and then looked away for just a moment, Donny tried to drown himself in the tub.

Aunt Ruby was a cop back then, and she knew CPR. She resuscitated Donny, and he was no worse for the wear despite being malnourished and covered with bruises and sores from the beatings we both endured.

I’ve never gotten over how frightened I was that day.

So when I saw Ashley, the woman I love, asleep in the hot tub…

I freaked. I freaked big time.

“Dale”—she cups my cheek after I get her inside and into a warm robe—“what’s this about?”

I’ve kept so much from her, and I’ll continue to do so.

But I can give her this much.

“My brother almost drowned in the tub when he was seven.”

“Oh!” She melts against me. “I’m so sorry.”

“Finding you asleep. It brought it all back. So vividly.”

She hugs me tighter and says nothing.

Unusual for Ashley, but I don’t need her words. I need only her presence. Her comfort.

And for the first time in a long time, I feel good about opening up.

Really good.

The next few days pass in a blur. Ashley and I leave Uncle Ry to do the tastings, and we work the harvest. We work straight through the weekend and are exhausted by the end of the day. Donny visits for one day, to meet our birth father in Grand Junction. He’s still in the ICU but is doing okay.