But I must. Maybe the truth will help set me free.

“I haven’t allowed myself to think of reasons that might make sense,” I say with a sigh. “I don’t want to acknowledge them.”

“Then you already know.”

“How? How is it even possible?”

“It’s a long story,” he says. “Long and complicated. My brothers and I have covered things up as best we can. It took a lot of money and connections, but we buried that part of our past for our children’s sake.”

“Part of me doesn’t want to know. Never wants to know. I can’t bear the thought of something so heinous happening to you or anyone else.”

“You wonder why I couldn’t forgive my father,” he says. “My father played a significant role in what happened to me, and when it was over, he covered it up as I did, but with one difference. He didn’t get me the help I needed when I was young. I was determined not to make that same error in judgment.”

Briny bile crawls up my throat. I swallow down a dry heave.

It’s true, then. Everything I could never allow myself to face.

Because I could give you what you needed.

Those words Dad uttered meant more than just the best therapy money could buy.

He could also give Donny and me his understanding. Practical understanding.

“How?” I ask again. Then, “I’m so sorry, Dad. I’m so fucking sorry.” I bury my head in my hands.

Tears don’t come. I’m dry. My throat is like a hot desert.

“I’ll tell you. You and Donny both.”

“No.” I shake my head vehemently. “Leave Donny out of it. I spared him all I could when we were in captivity, and I’ll spare him this now.”

“Oh, Dale,” Dad says, his tone laced with sadness. “It’s not up to you to save your brother. You can only save yourself.”

Chapter Seventeen

Ashley

Small talk.

I’m so sick of small talk, but that’s all that’s happening as Brendan and I finish our dinner and the Latour. Somehow, I’ve got to get him back on the subject of Dale and the Steels.

It doesn’t happen, so I check my watch. “It’s getting late, and I’ve got work early.”

“You can’t leave yet,” he says. “There’s dessert.”

“Oh?” I clutch my stomach. “I’m sure I couldn’t eat another bite.”

“I’m sure you can. I bought a peach pie from Ava’s bakery. Made with Steel peaches.”

Steel peaches are the bomb, but I wasn’t fabricating. I am actually pretty full. Still…this is a chance to get him talking again. The pie itself is a segue back to the Steels.

I smile. “You’ve convinced me. Her hamburger buns were excellent, and I already know I love Steel peaches.”

He rises and pulls the pie out of the refrigerator. He slices two pieces, plates them, and brings them back to the small table, sliding one in front of me. “You’ll love it. I’ve never had anything from Ava that isn’t top notch.”

“Tell me more about Ava,” I say, spearing a piece of the pie with my fork. “How did she leave the Steel family?”

He laughs. “She didn’t leave. She’s still very much a part of the family. She just wants to do things on her own, and she’s not interested in any of the Steel ventures.”

“Not all the Steels work on the ranch. Donny and Diana don’t.”

“No, but they’ve still got the Steel money behind them. Who do you think paid for their education and training? Donny wouldn’t be a lawyer and Diana wouldn’t be a budding architect without the Steel money.”

“I don’t think you can say that,” I say. “Scholarships are readily available for qualified applicants.” I should know, I add in my head. But I’m still not ready to divulge too much of my past to Brendan.

“But who needs to qualify when the Steels can just pay?”

“Are you saying Donny and Dee aren’t qualified?”

“You’re putting words in my mouth. That’s not what I’m saying at all. They’re both bright. All the Steels are. But they were spared the pain in the ass of applying for aid.”

I can’t disagree. Applying for financial aid and scholarships was a giant pain. By the end, my fingers nearly filled in all the information on autopilot. My perseverance paid off, though, in free college and grad school.

“I see,” is all I add to his comment.

“Nothing against being loaded,” Brendan says. “I’d love having no student loan payments.”

I say nothing this time. I’m spared student loan payments because Mom and I were so financially destitute that I received grants as well as scholarships for my undergrad. What was left, Mom and I both worked hard to pay. Mom doing hair, and I waiting tables on weekends.

The fact that Brendan has student loan payments means only that he was better off than I was during his college years—something I’m still not willing to share.

Yet I get it. He’s not begrudging the Steels their fortune, or Donny and Dee their lack of student loan repayment. He’s simply stating fact. I perceive no purple envy in his tone. Yes, to me envy is purple, not green—something that always astonished my mother.

“The luck of the draw,” I say simply. “We can’t all be born into ultrarich families.”

“Or adopted into them,” Brendan says.

Hmm. Now there’s a little purple in his tone. He’s Dale’s age, went to school with Dale. The envy is understandable. I don’t hear any resentment, really. Just a little “gee, it’d be nice if I’d had his luck.”

Indeed, it’d be nice if I’d had a little of his luck as well.

But I turned out okay, and by the looks of things, so did Brendan.

“So we’re back to Dale,” I say. Which is exactly where I want to be. “Tell me more.”

“About Dale?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve told you all I know. He’s a good guy, but he’s…unreachable in a way.”

“Did he have a girlfriend in high school?” Already I’m smacking myself in my mind. That question sounded really immature, but there’s no taking it back now.