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I’ve touched myself before, but it never had such an effect on me. I need more, more friction, and I need it fast. My hand travels down my flat stomach and slips into the front of my panties. They’re lace, so even though I’m still wearing them, there isn’t much that Nico can’t see.

“Fuck.” Nico’s gravelly voice vibrates through me, raising my arousal to a new high. I find my clit and gently rub it, making slow small circles. My head falls back and a low moan escapes my lips as I feel a familiar feeling build within me. And then he’s on me. Touching and feeling and grabbing and biting, we go at it like wild animals. I’m not even sure when he undressed, but I’m insanely grateful that there aren’t any clothes between us. I feel every ounce of his rock hard body, it feels so good that I think I may find my release before we even get started.

Nico growls as he takes my stiff nipple into his mouth and bites down hard. Pain, just shy of too much, shoots through me and my body begins to pulse on its own. He releases my aching nipple, but only enough to suck it back into his mouth and tease me. He swirls his tongue around, gently lathering it with attention, begging it to forgive him for the pain inflicted just moments ago.

He sucks his way from my breast up to my neck and eventually finds my mouth. His tongue leading mine in a dance that leaves me panting heavily when he turns his attention to my ear. “I need inside of that pu**y you made so wet for me.”

His words set off a moan that comes from deep within me and I feel my body begin to contract. I need him inside of me too. Now. So badly. “Please.” I don’t even care that it comes out as begging. I have no shame when it comes to the pleasures of this man.

He lifts me up into his arms before dropping down on one knee, gently positioning me on the grass. Two seconds ago we were biting and grabbing and now he is so gentle with me. He takes care of me first, makes sure I am okay, putting his own desire on the back burner to tend to me. It’s one of the things that I love about him, something that’s hard to put into words and explain to your girlfriend when you’re on a rant to explain why you’ve fallen in love with a man. He just puts me first. Always.

I expect to feel his warm body on top of mine, but it’s not, so I open my eyes to see what’s taking him so long and find him looking down at me. What I see takes my breath away. I try to speak, but I have no words. He’s mentally searing the moment into his brain, capturing it forever like an artist with a brush. I can feel it. It’s adoration and lust and love and every other heartfelt emotion rolled up into one perfect man who loves me and couldn’t hide it if he tried.

Unable to speak, I’m so filled with emotions that I can only reach up and offer him my hand. He takes it without a word and gently steadies himself on top of me, propping himself up on his arms, his muscular forearms on either side of my face. “I love you.” I finally find the words for the perfect moment he’s given me.

His head comes down and he kisses me as I feel his thick head push into me. I deepen the kiss as it smothers my whimpers as his thick c**k fills me. I know we should go slower, but I can’t wait any longer. It’s a tight fit normally, but without the slow ease in that Nico usually controls, it’s snugger than usual. But it feels so good, so right. I’ll worry about being sore tomorrow.

With the base of his hard length pushed up against me, Nico steadies himself. He wants to give me time to adjust, but I’m not waiting anymore. I buck up the little that I can move underneath his weight, tilting my pelvis ever so slightly, but it allows him to sink even deeper. A gasp slips from deep within me.

“Fuck, Babe. Are you okay?”

“I will be if you would stop treating me like glass and get that tight ass of yours going.” I dig my nails into his ass to accentuate my need.

Nico’s eyebrows raise in surprise, but I’m going to get my way one way or the other. I reclaim his mouth and bite down hard on his bottom lip, so hard I’m surprised I don’t taste blood. But it gets his attention and it’s the attention that I want. He pulls almost all the way out and then slams back into me…hard. I moan. It’s exactly what I need.

And then he does it again, this time swiveling his hips on a forceful draw down and he hits that sensitive place on the inside. I tremble as my body begins to convulse around him. But he keeps on going, pumping in and out, in and out, each time rubbing me within an inch of my orgasm until we are both within seconds of climax. Nico reaches between us and strokes my pulsating clit with his wide thumb and it’s enough to push me over the edge. I moan his name as my body begins to climax, pulsating wildly as wave after wave of bliss rolls over me. I feel the heat of Nico’s release pour into me and I think I’m about to hit bottom, but I keep falling, his release prolonging my own.

***

By the time we leave the next evening, there is no doubt in my mind that we’ve replaced Nico’s memories with new ones that he won’t soon forget.

Chapter 45

Elle

The last few weeks have been, without a doubt, the happiest weeks of my life. I’ve found a balance between my work and my time with Nico, and Lawrence actually seems happy that I’m working fewer hours these days. His own health issues have been a soft reminder of life’s priorities and it seems to have spilled over into how he is managing the office. The timing couldn’t be more perfect.

I still think about my past, but I haven’t had another nightmare since I told Nico. It’s odd, sometimes it feels like I’ve lightened what I carry around with me, but only because Nico is sharing the weight. We talk about it openly now and it seems to help. Each day it gets a little bit easier.

I can’t remember the last time I saw the delivery man for dinner. Nico’s in training for his big fight and he seems to love to feed me. We alternate between our apartments, but we’ve slept in the same bed almost every night since we came back from Preach’s house on the lake. I thought we had hit a high note, and things would have nowhere to go from there, but I’m finding I like the day to day ordinary with Nico almost as much as the special times. I’m in a domestic bliss of sorts, a place I never thought I’d find. A place that just didn’t seem in the cards for me. But here I am…and I couldn’t be happier.

I leave work a little early, it’s an important day for Nico. He finally finds out who he’ll be fighting in the championship fight. Not that the name will mean anything to me, but I want to be there for him.

I hit traffic on the way to the gym and barely make it there before the live announcement that is going to be made on T.V. The gym is full, but it’s not humming with its usual bevy of men hitting things or lifting poundage that exceeds my body weight. Instead, they’re all gathered around the T.V. that hangs from the corner of the cardio area. The sound is loud and the scene is upbeat and jovial. As always, Nico clocks me the minute that I walk in. He’s talking to an up-and-coming young fighter I’ve seen around before, but he watches every step I take. I wonder if the poor guy even notices he’s lost Nico’s attention.

“Love the suit.” Nico wraps his arm around my waist possessively the second I approach. I wore his favorite red suit, knowing I would be leaving the office early to go straight to see him. The hem is a little shorter than most of my others, but I barely made it out of it the last time I wore it, so I thought he might have taken a liking to it. I was right. I love that Nico finds me sexy in a suit. Some men would be intimidated by a woman dressed for business, but not Nico. Instead of intimidated, he finds it arousing.

The newscasters come on and we join the others around the T.V. The announcer talks for a little while about Nico’s career, footage plays on the screen from the fight. Nico’s grip on my waist tightens as they discuss the death of his former opponent, I’m only grateful that they didn’t decide to replay the blow that ended the fight.

Finally, the President of the MMA Fighting Association comes on the screen and reminds everyone that one week from today the championship fight will take place. He then makes a big to-do about opening an envelope that contains the name of the challenger, as if he didn’t already know, and the name is announced. Trevor Crispino. The room falls silent. Apparently I’m the only one that the name means nothing to. I scan the room for some indication of why Mr. Crispino’s name is met with such empathy, but everyone seems shell-shocked. Especially Preach. I vaguely remember Nico telling me he thought it would be a fighter named Caputo.

Nico disappears before I can ask him what is going on and suddenly the quiet room erupts in chatter. There’s lots of “no f**kin way” comments and a few “this is bullshit, he’s not even a contender” remarks, but I’m still lost. I make my way through to Preach, who’s still staring at the floor. His reaction is making me feel even more panicked.

“Preach, what’s wrong with Trevor Crispino?” I ask hesitantly, not really sure I want to hear the answer, because I know it’s bad. Really bad.

Preach looks up at me, his eyes are glassy and he looks sad. My heart lurches into my stomach. “He’s Frankie’s brother. The boy that died in the the fight. They’re trying to make it a grudge match. But the kid shouldn’t even be in the ring with the likes of Nico. He’s no match. Nico will kill ‘em.”

I’m sure the last words weren’t meant literally, but sometimes things that aren’t meant to come out that way, come out the way they should be spoken in the end, anyway.

***

I find Nico in his loft, sitting in the dark. His elbows on his knees, head dropped low in his hands. I wait for a minute before I approach, wondering if he will acknowledge I’ve entered the room. The gate on the elevator door is loud, there’s no way he didn’t hear me come in. But he just sits there quietly, even as I make my way to him and rest my hand on his shoulders, he doesn’t move.

“You okay?” My voice is low, but the room is so quiet, there is no mistaking that he can hear me. Yet he doesn’t answer.

I bend down to eye level with him in the darkness. It doesn’t matter that he can’t see me, I’ll be harder to ignore when I’m so close.

“What can we do?”

Nico lets out a heavy rush of air before he wraps his big hand around my neck, leaning his forehead against mine. “Just let me hold you.”

That I can do. I only wish I had more to offer to comfort him. His voice sounds raw and pained. I can only imagine what he must be feeling. If my own crushed heart and knotted stomach are any indication, then his own pain must be unbearable. How can they do this to him? Put him in the cage with the brother of the man he killed? A man that is no match for his power. Aren’t there rules or something?

My initial shock and sadness is starting to wear off and I’ve moved onto pissed. Mad, angry, ready to take on a fight of my own. “We’ll get you out of this. You don’t have to do this. This isn’t sportsmanship, this is for ticket sales.” Have they no conscience? And what about safety? Preach said the brother is no match, that Nico will kill him. Aren’t they supposed to match up ability? I hear my own breath speed up, my anger getting the best of me.

Nico chuckles quietly. It’s barely there and I’m not even sure if what I heard is the sound of his laughter. But then he speaks and I know that I’m not mistaken, “Might have to keep you home for the fight…afraid you’re gonna jump in the cage and beat the crap out of the guy for me.” I can hear the smile in his voice as he speaks.

“I might.” His smile is returned, even if he can’t see it.

***

I spend the next three days researching, analyzing, and generally looking for any possible loophole to get him out of the fight. I’ve called in every favor I had and sought opinions from each and every lawyer that might remotely be able to help us. Even William. But we all come up with the same conclusion, the contract is airtight. Of course, Nico can walk away from the fight and pay the penalty clause. But he won’t do that. Preach’s finances are on the line too. I don’t know why I didn’t see the motive behind making Preach invested in the fight, but I didn’t. Whoever drew up the terms of the contract new exactly what they were doing. They knew Preach and Nico well, but not just the fighter and trainer.