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“Yuri’s still on life support,” the cardinal added, the light dying. “Aden’s getting consults from every neurospecialist he can. He won’t make the call without exhausting all possibilities.”
Memory clung to hope. And she paid attention during the session despite her turbulent emotions—she’d brought her knitting because the physical activity helped her maintain her psychic focus. She was working on a blanket for Jaya’s Phantom; she needed to do something for her friend, and she’d noticed that Phantom liked to steal the blankets off Jaya and Abbot’s bed. Maybe he’d stop that if she made him his own.
Sascha admired her progress so far before the two of them settled down to hard psychic work.
“You’re ready to graduate from Sascha’s Shield School,” the cardinal surprised her by saying after lunch. “You’ve worked hard and you’ve built on a strong foundation. Maintain what you’ve built and your mind will never again be hijacked.”
It took some time after Sascha left for her words to sink in.
Memory had succeeded. Renault could never again violate her.
Putting on her olive-green jacket on a wave of angry resolve, she stepped out onto the porch. And there he was—her golden wolf. Dressed in a black tee and well-worn jeans, he was talking to one of the other changelings. Blonde and curvy Rina. A highly trained leopard soldier with an innate feline sensuality.
Alexei looked up toward Memory at that moment and, smile wicked and for her alone, held out a hand. It was only then that she realized a hidden part of her had been afraid last night had been a mirage, would disappear in the light of day.
When he’d kissed her good-bye this morning, she’d glimpsed a potent darkness in his eyes that made her afraid for what they had between them. It remained lodged inside him, a pain that held an edge she couldn’t quite decipher, but he took her hand and hauled her in for a toe-curling kiss that had Rina clearing her throat and saying, “Jeez, get a room. Or a cave. Since you’re an uncivilized wolf and all.”
Giving Rina the finger with one hand, Alexei continued to kiss Memory—who couldn’t hold on to her anger and sadness in the face of his wild joy in seeing her. Her entire body smiled. When he finally let her up for air, Rina had her hands on her hips and was shaking her head.
“You know they all live in a big puppy pit, right?” She shuddered. “Poking their noses into each other’s business like it’s a full-time job.”
That sounded like perfection to Memory. To not be alone unless you chose it, to walk out night and day and find a friendly face. When she said as much, Rina groaned and Alexei looked smug.
“You want to tell Memory what your packmates spotted?” he asked.
“Drone flying overhead.” Smile fading to reveal the hard eyes of a soldier, Rina folded her arms across her voluptuous chest. “We didn’t even have to shoot the thing down—one of the falcons was in the area and we asked him to capture it. Smartass put it into my hands like it was a special delivery.” A faint smile cracked her steely expression. “Anyway, the lack of damage meant we could do a full data dive.”
Cold fingers along Memory’s spine, a chill against her skin, but she shoved back the fear with fury. “Renault has a factory that creates drones. They were designed for use by scientists and statisticians who need to collect wide-ranging data.”
“It was one of his,” Rina confirmed.
“Bastard must’ve had one with him when he ran.” Alexei was pure lethal predator now. “Our tech team’s worked with Enforcement to block access to his accounts and properties—even the ones he went to great lengths to hide.”
“Too many to keep watch on, use as bait?”
“The man had endless hidey holes, big and small—and enough funds to make more,” Alexei said in response to Rina’s question, even as he hugged Memory to his side. “We made the call to switch off the money tap, turn him into a rat without resources. He’ll make a mistake soon.”
“What did the drone see?” Memory asked, wanting to know if any of her friends were in jeopardy.
“Don’t worry, it never got much past our border.” Rina ignored a buzz from the phone she’d tucked into a front jacket pocket. “Drone had a remote transmitter, no onboard storage. But it did have that small chip they’re putting in the newer models.”
“The one that tells their brains where to look?” Alexei asked.
Nodding, Rina took out her phone and brought up a picture. “Thing was set to look for this.”
Memory found herself staring at a ghost: a bone-thin Memory with sallow skin and limp, tangled hair. She didn’t know when Renault had taken it, but from the exhaustion on her features, the slumped shoulders, it must’ve been after one of the worst sessions, when he’d come close to wringing her dry.
Alexei ran his hand down her spine. “Thanks for the heads-up.”
“No problem.” Rina glanced at her timepiece. “I better get back to my patrol route, but DarkRiver will let you know if anything else turns up.” A grin aimed at Memory. “If you’re determined to hook up with a mangy wolf, he’s a good choice.”
Memory’s lips twitched as she watched the other woman leave. Smile fading when she turned back to Alexei, she said, “I’d like to do something today if you have time.”
“I’ve got a split shift, so I’m off now.” He gripped her jaw. “You’ve been crying.”
“Yuri,” she said softly.
“Has he—?”
She shook her head. “Just the same.”
“He’s a tough bastard.” Enclosing her in his arms, Alexei pressed a kiss to her curls. “I wouldn’t count him out until they wheel him out toes-first.”
From Sascha, she’d expected hope, but to hear it from her tough wolf? She rose up on tiptoe to kiss his jaw. He bent to make it easier for her, and she gave him two more kisses. When he asked about Abbot, she was happy to pass on the good news on that front.
“You doing okay with Rina’s intel?”
“Yes, it’s not a shock to discover he’s trying to find me.” Addicts didn’t easily let go of their poison. “And seeing that picture . . . I’m not that woman anymore.” No longer a faded shadow forced into a box.
She was color and adventure and kisses and games in the moonlight.
“Renault has no idea who I am anymore.” Her captor thought he was hunting the woman in the cage. “But what I want to do, it has to do with him.” She thought again of the scar on her ribs and all it represented. “I’m ready to go back to the bunker. I want to exorcise the past once and for all.”
Renault would be out there until they hunted him down, but she could lay her own ghosts to rest. “I want to go back there as me.” As the Memory who wore pink shirts, had big, exuberant hair, and was chased in the moonlight by a golden wolf.
Alexei’s instincts struggled against the idea of taking her back to that hellhole, but he knew a few things about demons. His, he might never conquer, but he’d help Memory face her own, especially as there was no real risk. The pack had seeded the place with sensors the morning after he found Memory, but none had ever gone off. Her captor had no reason to come back to the bunker.
“If you’re ready,” he said, “we can head out now.”
Memory’s hug made him hers all over again. She was so tough, his E, but she had a soft heart that incited every protective instinct in his body. And the way she was with him—so honest and open in her desire and her adoration of him . . . He wanted her as his mate, tied to him in the most indelible way.
They sat in quiet for much of the drive, but it wasn’t a quiet that irritated and rubbed Alexei’s wolf the wrong way. This was the quiet of two people who understood each other, two people who fit together like a key into a lock.
He squeezed the steering wheel so hard that his bones showed white against his skin. “I have to tell you something.” He couldn’t lie to her, not even by omission.
Memory cocked her head in a listening posture, the action one he caught in his peripheral vision.
“We’re in the mating dance.” It was so fucking hard to get the words out when he wanted so much to finish the dance, claim her as his forever.
Memory blew out a shuddering breath. “You’re fighting it.”
Spotting a section of forest with delicate flowers and undergrowth, Alexei pushed the vehicle into hover mode. “I want you, Memory.” The words came out feral, hungry. “More than I’ve ever wanted anything. But I can’t.” Flashes of Etta’s mauled body on the wall of his mind, of Brodie’s bloody muzzle, of the grief on the faces of Etta’s heartbroken family.
“It’s all right.” Memory’s voice held so much love that he felt kissed a hundred times over. “It’s all right, Alexei.” She touched her fingers to his jaw. “As long as we’re together, as long as I know that your wolf chose me as your mate, it’ll be enough.”
Grabbing her hand, he pressed his lips to her fingers. “I wish—” A harsh exhale. “I will regret not claiming you as my mate for the rest of my life.” His heart twisted and broke, reformed anew. “But I will love you always.” And he would protect her to his last breath.
Never would he hurt her as Brodie had hurt Etta.
Chapter 49
$60
—Price paid by E. David Renault for a street drug
RENAULT PACED IN jagged steps. It was getting harder and harder to think, his brain erratic despite the medicine he’d sourced and taken. It was Memory’s fault; if she’d only stayed in place, none of this would have happened.
Shoving his hands through his hair, he stared again at the blank data feed from the drone. Fucking leopards. They must’ve stolen it and given it a lobotomy. It was none of their business; Memory was his.
Maybe he should go to the bunker and make sure she hadn’t left behind anything that he could use to track her. Too bad she hadn’t left that stupid cat.