My answer confused him, so he moved towards me. I kicked him in the chest, and he stumbled back. I rushed at him and threw him back against the wall. Pulling the metal leg back, I shoved it into his stomach, angling it up.

When I pushed it, it slid underneath his ribs. His eyes widened with surprise, but it was too late to do anything. I slammed the stake up into his heart, and he collapsed against me.

I took a step back and let him fall to the floor. His blood covered my hands, still warm and smelling of the dead girl. The pipe stuck of out his stomach, and his eyes stayed open, staring off at nothing. His hand had fallen on my foot, and I jumped back from it. He was dead, and I didn’t want his corpse touching me.

I expected instant relief and gratification from this, and while there was some, I mostly felt sick. I had just killed someone, and even if it was someone that really deserved it, I was still a murderer.

I’m not even sure how I found my way outside. I moved in a daze, and I don’t remember anything until I was walking on the sidewalk, a block away from the clubs. People were veering around me and giving me weird looks.

The cold felt wonderful, but I didn’t know where I was going, so I just stopped. I closed my eyes and let the wind blow over me. The blood on my hand thickened as it began to dry, moving more slowly as it slid down my fingertips and dripped on the concrete.

“I found her!” Bobby shouted from somewhere nearby, and within seconds, Milo was at my side.

“Oh my god, Alice.” Milo put his hands on my face, and I opened my eyes.

“I killed him.”

“Are you okay?” Milo asked, and I nodded. “Let’s get you home before you get picked up for being a crazy person.”

Milo took off his own jacket and wrapped it around me, hiding the blood that stained my clothes. Bobby jogged up to us and tried to tell me they’d been looking all over for me, but he stopped when he saw my face. Milo led me to the car.

Before I got in the car, I put one hand on it, bracing myself. Then I bent over and threw up, my strange red vomit staining the snow all around us.

24

I took a long shower, but my skin still felt sticky from where Jonathan’s blood had been. The water turned cold, and I finally got out and dressed slowly. When I came out of the bathroom, I found Ezra sitting on my bed.

“How are you feeling?” Ezra asked, studying me with his dark eyes.

“Fine,” I lied and ran a towel through my damp hair.

“You went against my advice,” he said.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” I tossed the towel in the hamper and turned my back to him. I didn’t want to see the disapproving gaze he gave me after that.

“I told you to call me,” he went on. “But from what I understand, you ran away from Milo and Olivia and Violet. You had plenty of back up with you, but you went it alone.”

“It was something that I had to do myself.” I ran my fingers through my tangles of hair and looked back at him. “I had to take care of him.”

“And?”

“And what?” I asked, surprised by the lack of judgment in his words. 

“How did it go?” Ezra asked.

“I killed him.” The words tasted bitter in my mouth, and I gulped them down. I wanted to throw up or cry at the thought of being a murderer, but I couldn’t. I had done the right thing, and I wouldn’t let myself shed a tear of Jonathan.

“I’m aware of that.” Ezra looked away from me and smoothed out his pants. “Olivia called me after she cleaned up the mess. You owe her a debt of gratitude for that.”

“I’ll thank her tomorrow,” I nodded. I did owe her, and I felt bad for leaving her with my mess. But I didn’t have the strength to apologize for it now.

“He had a body in the room with him?” Ezra asked, and I nodded, biting my lip.

“If I’d stopped him when I saw him outside Jane’s…” I shook my head and trailed off.

“You did the right thing in waiting.” Ezra stood up and stepped over to me. He put his hand on my shoulder, and I looked up at him. “You didn’t listen to me, but you handled yourself well. You’ve shown great strength and maturity, more than many other vampire hunters I’ve run into. I’m proud of you, Alice.”

I wanted to thank him, but I knew if I did, I wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears. I could only nod, and Ezra wrapped an arm around me, hugging me to him. I took a deep breath to keep from sobbing, and he held me until he was sure I’d be fine without it.

After he left, I went to bed, and thankfully, sleep came quickly for me. The glowing warmth spread through me, and I buried myself deeper in the pillows. I didn’t want to wake up from the dream, back to the stark reality of the cold bed, but I couldn’t fight it anymore.

I opened my eyes and blinked to be sure I wasn’t still dreaming. Jack sat on the bed next to me, his brow furrowed, but he wasn’t doing anything. Just thinking.

“Good morning,” I said. I had no idea what he was doing, but it definitely made my heart beat faster.

“Hi. Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just…” He licked his lips and stared at me. “I don’t wanna be broken up anymore.”

“I don’t know what to tell you.” I looked away from him and pushed myself so I was sitting up. “I don’t even understand why you broke up with me.”

“I thought that was the best thing for you.” He leaned back, resting his head against the wall. “I felt like it was what you wanted.”