“Trust me, you’ll love it,” he says.

“Trey, I hate roller coasters. You know that.”

He pats my knee as if I’m a little kid about to go get a shot at the doctor’s office. “You’ll be fine.”

I walk through the park, looking up at the huge contraptions like they’re monsters. Mostly I’m afraid my body won’t be able to take violent jerks. Every step makes me feel like I’m ninety instead of eighteen.

It’s a miracle I’ve been able to hide my condition from Trey for so long. When I’m slow or my bones ache, I just tell him that my knees are stiff from cheerleading and he doesn’t pry further.

I guess I was always afraid of him knowing the truth. Would he treat me differently? Would he think I was too delicate? Would he break up with me?

Just reading the warning signs as we stand in line for the roller coaster makes my joints ache.

“You’ll have fun,” Trey says, taking my hand and urging me toward The Blitz, the biggest ride in the park. “I promise.”

“Umm… I don’t think I can do this,” I say, my voice trembling. “I don’t feel good.”

“Don’t be a wimp, Monika. It’s not a big deal. It doesn’t even go that fast.” He checks his phone as if he’s expecting a text or call. Is he waiting for Zara to contact him?

We’re so out of sync with each other.

When we’re in line for The Blitz, I look over at his dark features. He’s wearing long shorts, a tank, and dark sunglasses. He’s tall, lean, and has a chiseled face that most guys would be jealous of. He’s smiling as he drapes his arm around me while we stand in line.

I read another warning sign. It warns against pregnant people and people with back or neck problems. They don’t specifically warn people who have other disabilities. I don’t want to alert Trey to the fact that I’m not as healthy on the inside as I look on the outside. I’ve been able to hide it from him for over three years. I’m not about to reveal it now, especially when we’re going through such a weird time in our relationship.

I take a deep breath. Okay, I can do this. I’m getting an infusion treatment soon, so my symptoms will subside.

To take my mind off my anxiety, I change the subject. “You played great last night,” I tell him.

He squeezes me tight. “Thanks. Though I freaked the hell out when I got tackled at the line of scrimmage in the third period. I mean, if Gordon can’t do his job to protect me I swear I’m going to kick his ass.”

I look up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Now you sound like Vic.”

“Vic got like ten sacks last night.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know anyone who can read the quarterback like him. He doesn’t give one iota about school, but he’s an effective football player.”

“You jealous?”

“No.” He smiles, glances at his phone again, then puts it in his pocket. “I can still outrun Vic any day of the week. And he doesn’t have an amazing girl like you.”

I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze him tight. “I’m so glad we’re spending the day together.”

Homecoming and worry are distant thoughts now as a soothing calmness washes over me.

Until I feel something lumpy in Trey’s pocket. Pills.

I try to ignore the suspicion creeping into my thoughts. No wonder why his knee was shaking and his fingers were tapping uncontrollably. He’s high on those pills he’s taking. Is he addicted?

I need to confront him again.

I’m about to say something about the pills when I glance at The Blitz. Fear envelopes my entire body all the way down to the soles of my feet. I forget about confronting him, especially when I hear a bunch of people on the ride screaming from above.

“Trey… I’m not sure I can do this.”

He gives me a gentle pat on the back. “Be resilient. It’s merely a roller coaster.”

“It goes upside down.” I imagine the harness system failing while I plunge headfirst to my death. “What if I fall out? I’ll die. What if my body gives out? I don’t have the best joints.”

“That’s ridiculous. You won’t die or fall out,” he says, then laughs as he adds, “And your joints can take it. Seriously, Monika, stop freaking. I’m trying to do something fun. It would be cool if you didn’t bash it. I heard you scaled a fence with the guys the other night. Don’t pretend like you’re suddenly fragile.” He checks his phone again. “It might be the biggest, but I promise it’s not even close to being one of the scariest rides here.”