He looked back at me. “You must be tired,” he said finally.

“I’m exhausted,” I said. “How are you?”

“Same.” He sighed, and the sound was ragged. There was a lot on his shoulders, not least the pile I’d added tonight.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “For all of this.”

His expression was blank, and he offered no comfort, which was a slice at the edge of my heart, sharp and keen as my sword.

“So am I,” he said. “This isn’t the trip I’d had in mind—or the troubles I’d expected we’d find.”

I was afraid to ask whether he meant me or the monsters. But I knew, even if we couldn’t talk about us—or there was no us to discuss—that we needed to talk about what had happened. “You really don’t know what they are?”

He shook his head. “Based on the evidence, they’re clan members who’ve made some kind of magical change. But I don’t know how.”

“I can talk to Theo, Petra. Maybe there are sorcerers in the area or—I don’t know—a magical well.”

There was nearly amusement in his eyes. “A magical well?”

“I’m loopy,” I said.

“So’s Petra.”

This time, the reluctant smile was mine. “Yeah. She is. But she knows her stuff. She might just say that this is the Beast or—” I stopped, realized it was far more likely the reverse was true, and looked at Connor, who nodded.

“I just got it, too. Maybe the clan isn’t being attacked by the Beast of Owatonna. Maybe the things that fought us are the Beast of Owatonna, or at least the latest iteration. Maybe this isn’t the first time someone has used this magic. Hell, maybe that’s why the magic is broken.”

“All because of Paisley?” I wondered. “Her death seems to have been a trigger, maybe spread over the general unhappiness in the clan. The anger about staying closeted, about refusing to change. And Traeger is at least part of the who.”

“Yeah,” he said grimly. “And Traeger’s connected to Georgia, which makes this even more complicated.” He frowned. “Where would the magic come from?”

“Well, either something’s doing the magic to them, and they don’t have a choice in it—”

“Or they’re doing it to themselves somehow,” he finished.

“Can shifters do magic?”

“Not well,” he said, “and I mean that literally. We can do a little manipulation, but not much, and not well.”

“Which would explain the feeling that it’s broken.”

He made a vague sound of agreement; then his brow furrowed when he looked up at me again. “There could be trouble.”

“Trouble?”

“Ronan isn’t the only one with a chip on his shoulder. The clan will want to talk to us. If we’re lucky, they’ll wait until dusk.”

And if not, I thought silently, they’d pull us out of the house in daylight, and that would be it for me.

“It’s also possible the creatures will come back, will target us specifically. I’ve asked Alexei to check for trails, see if locations can be identified, to see if broken magic can be identified around the resort. And in the meantime, I’ll be listening. They won’t hurt you.”

But again he didn’t reach out, and that was another small wound.

“Get some sleep,” he said. “Tomorrow we’ll deal with what comes next.”

Having been dismissed again, and totally unsure of my steps, I walked back to the bedroom, closed the door, and sat down on the bed. And felt more alone than I ever had before. Alone and guilty and afraid that by trying to do something good, I’d screwed up something I’d never imagined I’d want.

I’d be damned if I’d apologize to Ronan or the clan for doing what had to be done. But I was an adult, and I understood my actions would have consequences, fair or not. Those consequences left a dark pit of fear in my belly.

Connor had said we’d deal with what came next, but that wasn’t enough for me, not with this. I didn’t know how to move forward, given what I’d done. So I pulled out my screen and contacted the one person I knew who’d been in my position before. Who’d changed someone because circumstances demanded it. And had dealt with the aftermath.

It took only a moment for his face to appear on-screen, and the mere sight of him made my eyes fill with tears. “Hey, Dad.”

His eyes brightened. “Hello, Lis.” But as he scanned my face, the smile fell away. “What’s wrong?”

“I changed someone.” I held back the tears, but it was a battle and nearly cost me the rest of my strength.

My father’s expression remained perfectly blank. He was good at that—masking his emotions until he’d heard all the facts, or reached his decision, or considered his next steps. “Tell me what happened.”

I told him about the trip, the animals, Loren’s death and the tracks we’d found, the attack on the bonfire. And Carlie, pale and bleeding on the ground.

“She’d gone gray, and her heart was . . . a whisper. I couldn’t stanch the wound, so I did the only thing I could think of.”

“And the circle turns,” he murmured. “She’s all right?”

“For now. We’ll see what happens in a few days. She’s with Ronan, although he’s not happy about bearing that burden. He’s also angry I changed her without his consent or the clan’s consent. He’s worried at least in part about the human response, I think. Suggested it would have been smarter to let her die and save his coven the trouble. One life for the many.”

“That’s very old-fashioned,” he said. “But he’s not the only vampire who shares that attitude.”

I nodded, was suddenly so tired, and not just because the sun was probably tracing the horizon.

“Do you want me to tell you that you did the right thing?”

So much, I thought. So much it made my chest ache. “Yes.”

“You did the right thing,” he said, his answer coming quickly. “But that doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences. And those can be the hardest consequences to bear—the ones we face because we’ve done the right thing, the hard thing.”

“I know,” I said.

My father nodded. “After I changed her, your mother was angry at me for a very long time. She had lived her entire life under the thumb of her parents. When she’d gone to college, then graduate school, she’d gained some independence. Particularly when she came back to Chicago. For the first time, she was able to live in her town on her own terms. And I ruined that for her. Took away her independence, at least as far as she saw it.”

“You saved her life,” I said, and knew immediately he’d led me right to that statement, and I’d followed right along.

“I did,” he said. “But I also took something away. Both of those things are true. And, frankly, it took me too long to acknowledge my part in it. To understand what she’d lost. It had been a long time since I’d been human, since I’d felt the threat of time in quite the same way. You’re younger, and you’d understand that better than a four-hundred-year-old vampire. That’s one of your strengths.”

I nodded, but didn’t feel especially strong right now. Not when adrenaline had given way to self-doubt. “I know I’ve hurt Carlie, even if I didn’t mean to. I’ve changed her life. And the thought that she might hate me for doing it bothers me.”

“It’s a complex situation, with a lot of gray and not much black-and-white.” A corner of his mouth lifted. “You do generally prefer things to be black-and-white.”

“It’s easier to know whether you’ve done the right thing—or someone else has—when it’s black-and-white.”

“I won’t argue the point,” he said. “But we grow more when the decisions are harder. Carlie might be angry at you. And she’s entitled to her feelings. They may be logical, they may be irrational, but she’s entitled to them. But that doesn’t change what you did or why you did it.

“She’ll not be bound to you,” he added. “Not if she’s going to be fed solely by Ronan during the rest of the process. But you began the process, so you’ll do her the honor of staying nearby and, if she’ll see you, of speaking to her about it. And if she agrees to talk to you, you take responsibility for your actions. Respect your choice, the decision that had to be made. And respect the change you’ve wrought to her life.”

I nodded. “You’re right.”

“In case it helps—even if your mother had decided never to speak to me again, had decided to loathe me for the rest of her immortal life, I’d have done the same thing. The world would be less without her. Same goes for you. In the more immediate sense, let’s discuss your and Connor’s current situation.”

A flush rose hot on my cheeks.

“Are you in danger?” he asked before I could mutter out a response to the relationship question I was afraid he was going to ask.

“The clan will probably want to speak to us tomorrow, and they’re going to have plenty to say. The creatures were pretty seriously wounded, so I imagine they’re licking their wounds. Connor’s keeping an eye out. I don’t suppose you have any idea what they are?”

“None,” he said. “Connor’s theory—that they’re clan members affected by magic—seems entirely logical. But I don’t know of any shifters who’ve taken that shape before or magic that would do it. I could ask your mother to reach out to Mallory.”

The thought of involving Lulu’s mom made me uncomfortable, like I was going around Lulu. “That’s okay. I’m going to give Theo an update. The OMB has connections to the Order.” The Order was the mandatory union for sorcerers and sorceresses.