“I see. I wasn’t rushing you. Feel free to tell me on your own time. I was just curious.”

He rushed to fill the silence.

“The thing is . . . about Anna. I mean, about me and Anna. It’s not exactly true.”

Shit. Why had he told her that? He hadn’t meant to tell her that. He hadn’t meant to tell her about any of this!

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“What do you mean, ‘not exactly true’?”

Shit. Now he had to tell her the rest of it. Well, some of it.

“It’s just that we—I mean she—I mean it’s sort of a publicity thing for her. She needed a date to a thing coming up, and I guess her manager thought she needed a boyfriend for some good press, and since we had already, I mean since we became friendly while she was working the ad campaign, we thought, he thought, and she agreed, and I thought it sounded like fun, so anyway . . .” He made himself stop talking. Maybe they could just gossip about what an adventure this would be for a little while and then his session would be over.

“You said ‘since we already . . . ’—since you already what?”

Why did she always manage to pick up on the smallest things?

He let out a sigh and gave up.

“Since we’d already slept together. A few times. It started almost two weeks ago, when I drove her to Palm Springs.”

And then the whole story spilled out. He didn’t tell her the part about Anna’s anxiety attacks, but he told her everything else.

“You and your brother carried her in a suitcase?” She laughed out loud. Laugh number four! And he hadn’t even tried this time! “I can’t believe she agreed to that.”

Ben grinned.

“She loved it. We all laughed so hard about it. And it was right after that when I accidentally met her manager.”

Dr. Lindsey looked at him for a moment.

“So Anna met your brother. Did you tell him the truth about all of this?”

Of course she’d asked him that. The one thing about all of this that he felt bad about.

“No. Anna didn’t want . . . she asked me not to. Just so if the press asked him anything, his responses would sound real.”

Theo had called him when the photos had come out—Maddie had seen them right away, of course. They’d both been so happy for him. He’d hated lying to them.

“Anyway, it’s only for a month or so. No big deal. It just sounded like fun to me. And Anna’s great. So. That’s all.”

She was still silent. He didn’t know what she was thinking.

“When I saw those pictures, I’d hoped . . .” She stopped and started again. “Have you given any more thought to what I said a few weeks ago? About how you might need to work on your ability to have permanent relationships, just in general? Because this seems like a venture in the opposite direction.”

Ben looked out the window. Just the stupid sky. Why wasn’t there anything interesting to see out her window?

“I know you think there’s something wrong with me, because I like dating around and don’t want to settle down, and that’s all about my dad or whatever. But I just haven’t found anyone I care enough about, that’s all. And how could I turn down this offer from Anna? Not everything is about my fear of being abandoned or abandoning other people or whatever you want to call it.”

Dr. Lindsey shook her head and smiled at him.

“I’ve never called it that, Ben. And I don’t think anything is wrong with you. You know that’s not what this is about. But attaching yourself to someone you think of as unattainable seems like . . . a particular kind of choice, don’t you think? At least I’m glad that Anna is in on it, and doesn’t think the string of dates you take her on is a relationship.”

“Hey!” he said. “I’m up front with people about just wanting something casual.”

She sighed.

“I know you are, but—”

“Yes, fine, a handful of them have thought we were in a relationship, but I think that’s all due to my natural magnetism,” he said.

That didn’t even make her smile, but then, this time he hadn’t expected it to.

“But isn’t this better?” he asked her. “No one is expecting anything different from me this time! Actually, Anna almost tried to trick me into being in those photos and coming down to visit her in L.A.—her manager didn’t want me to know it was all fake, but Anna felt bad, so she let me in on it. I was kind of pissed about that at first, actually.”

Dr. Lindsey raised an eyebrow.

“Did you tell Anna you were pissed?” she asked.

Oh God, he shouldn’t have said that.

“It wasn’t a big deal,” he said. “Plus, it wouldn’t have accomplished anything.”

He’d gotten his tiny revenge on Anna at the bar, which had led to really hot sex later—it had been fine.

Dr. Lindsey massaged the side of her neck.

“The accomplishment there would have been yours. It can be valuable to share your emotions, good and bad, with people. Not to change their behavior, but for you to tell them how you feel. And to acknowledge your feelings to yourself.”

What was even the point of that?

“It doesn’t matter—Anna and I won’t be doing this for that long; there was no need for all of that.”

Dr. Lindsey opened her mouth and then closed it. She took a deep breath before she finally said something.

“Ben. What are you so afraid of happening? If you’re honest with someone about your feelings? If you stay with a woman long enough to get attached to her?”

She always said stuff like this and he didn’t understand why. Why was she making this small thing into such a big one?

“I’m not afraid of anything! It’s just easier this way. More fun. I do get attached to people, you know that. But—”

Her buzzer rang.

“My next client must be downstairs. But, Ben, I want you to think about what I said. And what I asked you.”

He picked up his messenger bag and stood up.

“Yeah, fine, I’ll think about it.”

He had no plans to actually think about anything from that session, though, other than how thrilled he was he hadn’t accidentally let anything about Dawn slip out. He could only imagine what Dr. Lindsey would have to say about that.

Fifteen

On Friday night, Simon was with Anna in the back seat of the limo on the way to the airport to pick up Ben. Simon had reacted . . . strongly, when she’d told him there had been a slight change in their plan.