I wanted her to know only my name, to know it was me inside her, but she deserved to be loved, cherished, and I had f**k-all of a clue how to do that properly. I only knew the physical aspects – I dealt in pleasure and orgasms and how many condom wrappers were on the floor the next morning. But real intimacy, taking care of all a woman’s needs – let alone a woman as complex as McKenna? It was a sure shot at failure.
But right then, in that moment, McKenna was just a girl looking for closeness any way she could get it. If that ended with me inside her, so be it. It was the only way I knew. And it seemed neither of us was capable of waiting anymore.
She was giving herself to me, despite knowing what I was. The most beautiful gift she had to offer was mine. Feeling her damp heat against my belly where she sat, and my erection brushing against her ass, desire rocketed through me.
Everything in me wanted to take control, to lift her hips and position her so she could slide down on me, but I knew if I did that, I’d hurt her. And since that wasn’t in the cards, I hauled her off me, forcing her to lie on her back.
Coils of desire raced through my bloodstream, and I had to physically force myself to go slow. I kissed McKenna, long and deep, claiming her with my mouth. Never had I spent so much time just kissing, but with her, I found it strangely satisfying and hard to stop. When she was squirming beneath me on the bed, I dropped to my knees on the floor between her legs, taking her ankles in my hands and planting her feet on the bed so that she was wide open for me. McKenna’s head lifted from the pillow and she looked at me, poised above her with wide set eyes. With my gaze locked on hers, I lowered my mouth to the juncture between her thighs and inhaled. McKenna flinched, her belly dipping as she sucked in a breath. She needed to understand that I loved the feminine scent of her arousal. That sweet fragrance made me lose all sense of right and wrong, all rational thought. Parting her glistening pink flesh, I swirled my tongue over her clit until a sob broke from her lips. Her entire body trembled, begging for release, while I ruthlessly licked against her.
Her orgasm hit me like a sucker punch to the gut. I was becoming addicted to giving pleasure rather than taking it. Emotions tore through me and I took a moment, sitting back on my heels and wondering how it was this beautiful woman I’d only known a short time had completely undone me.
“Knox,” she whimpered, reaching for me.
I crawled up onto the bed with her and McKenna immediately took my c**k in her hands, rubbing and stroking just like I’d shown her. A dark hunger simmered inside me, pooling at the base of my spine, the need to be inside her overtaking me. I reached for a condom and rolled it down my length while McKenna watched and chewed on her lip. Hesitation surged inside me. Was I doing the right thing?
“Are you sure you’re ready?”
Her hand curled around my eager cock, as if to feel the latex sheathing me. Every moment with her was a new awakening. It kept me grounded and in the moment like never before. “I want you.” She pressed her lips to my throat, her hot breath rushing over my skin in the most reassuring way. She wanted this. Me. Even with all my shortcomings, she was choosing me.
And for the night, I was hers. Body and soul.
After putting on the condom, Knox lay down beside me so we were facing each other on the bed. I rested my head on his arm and his other hand was between us, positioning his hard length against me.
Lying side by side like this wasn’t the position I imagined. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“I want to hold you. Is this okay?”
“Yeah, but it’s just….”
“This isn’t how you pictured it going?” he asked.
“No. I thought you’d be on top.” I remembered my embarrassing lecture to Luke about how to ensure a girl’s first time was special. It showed how little I knew. I guess I never thought my first time would be with Knox, looking deep into his eyes. It sent a warm ripple of pleasure through me.
“We’ll get there, but for your first time, me on top doesn’t allow you to control the speed, angle, or depth, so I thought this might work better. I want you to be comfortable.”
I relaxed my head against the pillow. I was comfortable. I was lying on my side facing Knox and we were snuggled close. I could feel his warmth all around me and his scent sending me into my happy place. But warning bells were going off in my mind. Knowing Knox had a dominating side…I didn’t want him softening this experience for me. I wanted to know he was right here with me, fifty-fifty, enjoying every moment, not sacrificing himself for something he thought I wanted. “But I thought you liked taking control, I want to be sure you’re….”
His lips against mine stopped me mid-rant. “Not for your first time. This is about you.” He leaned forward and pressed another kiss to my lips, softer this time. “Just try and relax, okay?”
I nodded and watched him.
He pressed the tip of himself against my opening. I tried to relax my muscles like he’d told me, but my body was anything buy welcoming to the blunt head of him. Lifting my top leg so I was spread apart, Knox cradled my calf in his big palm. I felt more exposed in this position, but when Knox’s mouth went to my throat and began lightly nibbling me there, I forgot all about that.
He pressed his hips closer to mine again and I felt the very tip of him push inside me. Knox released a hiss through his teeth and pulled back. It wasn’t working.
Dropping a kiss to my forehead, he looked deep into my eyes. “Do you want some extra lubrication?”
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