Roger took a drink of his water. “I wanted to let you know, I’m in love with your mom. She’s a special woman. If I have your permission, I’d like to ask her to be my wife.”

The fries and burger churned in my stomach. They’d been dating like six weeks and he wanted to marry her? Hell, the ones she’d tied herself to with that stupid piece of paper had turned out to be the biggest assholes. My dad included. And for her, when it fell apart, she always felt like she failed even more than if they just broke up. Like that piece of paper made everything so much more of a big deal.

Roger must have been able to read the look on my face. Or heard my breathing pick up. For all I knew, he heard how hard my heart pounded, because he said, “I know it’s quick, but there is something about her. She’s genuine. I’ve been alone a long time, and this is the first time I’ve been willing to make this step again.”

His speech was nice, but I still wasn’t sure. It sounded like a politician’s speech and even I knew how those usually turned out. Before I could tell the guy, hell no, my mom came back to the table and sat down. Knowing myself, I probably wouldn’t have said no anyway. Not if there was a chance it could make her happy. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? I didn’t know.

Unaware of what just went down, of what he said and how I wanted to explode, Mom smiled. “So! What did I miss?”

I opened my mouth, but Roger cut me off. “Just a little guy talk. It can wait.”

Sitting there, watching her smile at him, her big heart plastered on her forehead, I knew I was screwed. My mom loved the guy. There’s no way I could tell him no and be the one to break her heart. Hopefully, he’d give this some time. You know, sleep on it for me than five minutes. All I knew is, if he hurt her, he better pray he never ran into me again.

***

I blew the head off a video game zombie. A second later, I sniped another one and then another. It didn’t help. I couldn’t stop thinking about Mr. I-Want-To-Marry-Your-Mom. He was nothing like the guys she usually dated and honestly, I didn’t think my mom was the kind of lady he usually went out with, either. Could that be a good thing? I had no clue. That’s why I was The Hook-up Doctor instead of Love Doctor.

But as much as I hated to admit it, even though he’d annoyed me, he almost seemed nice.

Still… I wasn’t real sold on the whole happily-ever-after thing and the thought of her getting all excited at the prospect, and then the drama when it all fell apart, left me feeling the need to kill as many zombies as possible.

Add that to the fact that Aspen and Pris bailed on us tonight didn’t help. The night was completely blown to shit pretty much like the zombie heads I kept shooting off.

As soon as I got home from lunch I’d texted Aspen. Like I said, she’s the only one who knew how I felt about my mom and it took her two hours to reply and she said she couldn’t hang out tonight. I’m glad I didn’t waste my time telling her what happened. If she didn’t care enough to keep her plans with me, then I wasn’t going to play Dr. Phil, spilling my guts to her like she could make it better or something.

“What’s your problem tonight? You’re looking a little angry there, Sebastian. Those zombies aren’t really trying to take over the world.” Jaden leaned against the video game. Around us, lights and bells went off. The arcade was packed like it was every weekend.

Game Over flashed across the screen.

“When are you going to realize you’re not funny?” I asked him.

We started walking through the crowd. “Hey, I’m funny as hell. You’re just mad because I get all the good lines in and you’re the sidekick.”

This time I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, because we both know that’s the truth.” A couple of guys walked away from a table and we sat down. “I’m mad and bored. We need to find something to do.”

As if the seat shocked him, Jaden lurched forward. “Asketh and you shall receiveth. Behind you, six o’clock.”

Slowly, I turned in my seat so I could look behind me without being too obvious. “What the?” Ice slithered through my veins. “What are the girls doing here?” Aspen and Pris sat in the back by the pool tables laughing and talking. They couldn’t hang with us, but they could come here?

“Huh? Oh shit. I didn’t even see them. Look to the left a little. Two blondes are looking this way.”

I mentally scrolled through Aspen’s text. “She said she didn’t feel like hanging out tonight.”

“Dude. Who cares? They ditched us. Get over it and check out—oh, she just waved. Let’s go over there.”

I was five feet ahead of Jaden, but I wasn’t going to the blondes. This weird heavy feeling weighed me down. Why wouldn’t they want to chill with us? I’d needed to talk to her today and she’d blown me off. As I stepped up to their table, Jaden grabbed my arm. “Wrong way, Romeo.”

“They bailed on us.” Why wasn’t he upset about it?

“Like I said, who cares? Damn, Bastian. Maybe they wanted a chick night? There’s no rule that we have to hang out with them every night. What’s going on with you lately?”

Half of me knew he was right, but that didn’t stop me from, pulling my arm away from him, and plopping down at their table. “Fancy meeting you here.” I crossed my arms so they knew I was mad. Pris’ eyes got all wide and Aspen stuttered when she talked.

“Hey! I, um… we were going to stay in, but changed our minds at the last minute.”

That sounded awfully close to a line. Probably a line I’d given in the past and it annoyed me that she not only used it with me, but that I let it bother me. “Whatever.”

“Don’t get your feelings hurt. It’s not like you’ve never blown us off before,” Pris said from across the table.

That wasn’t the point, but if they didn’t want to hang out with us, I didn’t want to hang out with them either. Two could play at that game. “I don’t have my feelings hurt. Just thought I’d stop by and say hi. It actually worked out better for us anyway.” I nodded my head toward the blondes who were looking our way. Both Pris and Aspen looked over. I pushed to my feet. “Have a good night, ladies.”

When we walked away, Jaden grabbed my arm. “Hey, you sure you’re okay?”

I peeked over my shoulder at Aspen and Pris, who were already off in some whispered conversation, then to the side at the blondes. My mind went to Roger and how he planned on officially moving in on my mom, like there was any point in taking relationships seriously. “Yep, I’m good. Come on, let’s get ourselves some girls.”

***

Hook-up Doctor,

I had my doubts, but I think it’s actually working! I saw him this weekend and blew him off like you said. We were at the same get-together. He talked to me for a minute and I played it off like it was no big deal. I swear, the whole night after that, he kept watching me. I’d look over, and he’d turn away, but I could tell he’d been looking at me. I kind of hate to admit it, but you actually seem to know what you’re talking about here. One question though… this is just a hypothetical. What would one do if it didn’t work? If after one try the guy didn’t seem to notice you were ignoring him, should she try again? Again, just curious. You know, us inquiring minds and all. Thanks! Hope to hear from you soon.

PA

Chapter Five

PA,

Huh, looks like ignoring people is in the air lately. At least for you, you have a good reason. Whatever. Not like I care. Glad everything’s going as planned. Told you I was good. For now, you’re going to want to just kick back. Give him some time to think. The more he thinks, the more confused he’ll get, until he’s thinking about you 24/7, which is what we want. In the meantime, play it cool. Maybe show up where he is, don’t ignore him, but don’t pay him too much attention either. We like to be the center of attention, so if he feels you’re kind of “eh” about him, guess who he’ll start to want?

Hook-up Doctor

***

Two days passed and I was still pissed. I’d never been ditched by a girl in my whole life. Now I had my so called BFF (and if I didn’t stop using that word, I’d cut my own tongue out) playing hooky on me like I was nothing. Was this how girls felt when I bailed on them? No. This was different. I always made sure girls knew up front I didn’t do the dating thing. With Aspen, we were like yin and yang, soy burgers and tofu, Dawson and Joey… hell, I really needed to get a life.

I picked up my phone and scrolled through her texts. They started out with “I’m sorry” and by the hundredth one transformed into, “Whatever. It’s not like you’ve never done it.” So, apparently this whole thing was my fault. She was wrong, though. I never would have lied to her like that.

Glancing at the clock on my bedside table, I discovered I had a good two hours before my first shift at DJ’s. I wasn’t looking forward to it. On top of work, Mom and the loser, and the whole Pris/Aspen thing, I needed to do something to relax. Heading to my closet, I pulled out my guitar and leaned back on my bed again. My fingers moved across the strings with so much ease. It was almost like touching a girl; I knew just what to do, where to touch, and I enjoyed the hell out of it. My talent was the only thing I had that I could thank my mom’s sperm donor, AKA my pops, for.

An hour later, I took a quick shower, put on the black slacks and prep-school-looking green shirt and hoped like hell they wouldn’t make me tuck it in. Jaden had some secret mission or something going on today so he was out as a possible ride to work. I knew he wasn’t off with a girl, because he never kept his mouth shut about stuff like that. Jay had some kind of secrets going on that he didn’t let the rest of us in on, but because of his sneakiness, getting to work was all up to me. Since I wasn’t talking to the girls, once I had my shoes on, I grabbed my skateboard out of the closet.

I liked riding, but it was something I wanted to do for fun. Not to ride to my minimum wage job because I was too poor for a car and my friends had all decided to bail on me.

By the time I kicked my board up to walk into DJ’s, I was sweating like crazy. Nice. And it was all Aspen and Pris’s fault.

DJ showed me where to clock in and had Matt train me. I don’t know what it was, but there was something about the guy that bugged me. He talked so much I had the urge to sock him in the face the whole time. You could tell he thought he knew everything and that rubbed me wrong.

Halfway through the shift as he was teaching me how to make a meat supreme pizza, like it was so hard or something, and he nudged my arm. “So, is Aspen your girl?”

“Pfft, think again. I don’t do the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing,” I said, while in my head I wondered why it was any of his damn business. Then a thought reared up inside me like an angry bull. Did this dude think he had a chance with her? I had a sort of sixth sense when it came to jerks. Maybe it had something to do with all the guys that came in and out of my mom’s life, who knew.

What I did know was this wasn’t the kind of guy I wanted Aspen with. He only wanted one thing from her. I could practically read his mind because I thought the same things when it came to other girls. Which was totally different. “But I watch out for her. Make sure nobody hurts her and all that.” Out of nowhere, something else tumbled out of my mouth. I didn’t know where it came from and couldn’t make it stop either. “Not that I have to do it real often. She doesn’t date much. Her parents are real strict. They only let her date…hippies. Yeah, they have all sorts of rules. She’s only allowed to go out with vegetarians who live in energy efficient houses.”

And I was a friggin’ idiot.

“No, shit?” Matt asked, one of his eyebrows rose like some cartoon character.