Author: Robyn Carr

“Another surprise. You dance?”

“I think that might be overly optimistic,” he said. “I do something. I’ll try not to hurt you.”

Lilly came out of the house, wiping her hands on her apron. “Here, Mel, let me take her off your hands. I’ll put her to bed.”

Mel stood with the baby in her arms and walked into the house, Lilly right behind her. She turned and placed the baby in Lilly’s arms. Then she leaned toward Lilly and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “You have a wonderful family,” Mel said. “I think you’ll find just the right time to tell them.”

Mel made an appointment at the Grace Valley clinic. She was surprised to learn that both doctors were available, so she requested the OB. Prenatal consult, she said.

“We’ll go ahead and put your patient with Dr. Stone,” the receptionist said, and Mel did not correct her. After all, she’d been there before with a couple of pregnant women for ultrasounds and they knew her as the midwife upriver. After seeing a few patients, Mel headed for Grace Valley in the afternoon.

It had only been a short time since the gathering at the Stones’ house and she could no longer deny the truth. She was pregnant. She already knew it. They had plenty of pregnancy tests on hand at Doc’s and she’d used one. Then another one. And another. Half of her hoped it was wrong, the other half was afraid it was. When she got to the clinic, June was hanging around the reception desk. “Hey, there.”

She leaned as if looking around Mel. “I thought you were bringing in a prenatal consult?”

“Yeah,” Mel said. “Me.”

June’s eyes grew momentarily round, surprised.

“It must be the water,” Mel said with a shrug.

“Come on back. You’re with John, and as you know, our nurse is on maternity leave. Want me to stand in or keep out of your business?”

Mel felt a shudder of nervous emotion. “Please, come with me. I think I need to explain a few things,” she said.

“Oh, boy,” June said, draping an arm around her shoulders. “Sounds like it might be a little complicated.”

“Not a little,” Mel answered.

John came out of the back and said, “Hey, Melinda. You bring me a prenatal consult?” Before she could answer, June inclined her head toward Mel. “Oh,” John said. “Well, first things first—June, set her up in there. Let’s get the facts.”

“Okay,” Mel said, suddenly meek and nervous. “But I already know.”

“Don’t try and make my job so easy,” he said with a laugh. “There’s no challenge in that.”

Mel went into the exam room where she found a gown and sheet. She undressed and sat up on the table, waiting. How was she supposed to feel about this? She’d been desperate for a baby, and now she was having one. Why did it feel so damn confusing? As though something had gone wrong, when in reality it had finally gone right.

But this wasn’t what she had planned. And she knew it wasn’t what Jack had planned—he’d offered to take care of their birth control needs. Oh, brother, was he going to be surprised.

John came in, June on his heels. “How are you feeling, Mel?”

“Besides terribly confused? A little nauseous in the morning.”

“Damnest thing, isn’t it? But you’re keeping food down?”

“Yep.”

June set up the instruments and pap slide while John got her blood pressure. “Want to talk first or second?” he asked her.

“Second.”

“Okay. June—can you fire up the ultrasound? Thanks. Mel, lie back and slide down for me, okay?” He guided her feet into the stirrups and kept hands on her legs in case she slid too far and accidentally fell. When her position was solid, he took his place on his stool and snapped on the rubber gloves. He inserted the speculum. “You know how far along?”

“Three months,” she said, her voice quieter than usual. “Approximately.”

“Congratulations,” he said. Beside her the ultrasound bleeped as it warmed up. He pulled out the speculum after the pap slide was complete and gently palpated the uterus, measuring for size. “You’re almost as good at this as I am, Mel,” he said.

“You have reached the right approximate diagnosis. Good. Everything’s good.” He pulled the wand from the ultrasound; because this was an early pregnancy he would do an internal probe for a better reading as opposed to running the probe over her still flat belly. “Turn your head, Mel,” he said. “Beautiful,” he added. She looked at the monitor. Tears slid out of her eyes and into the hair at her temples. There it was, a small mass, limbs just visible to the practiced eye, moving around inside of her. They watched the new life for a little while and she gave a hiccup of emotion, moving a trembling hand to cover her mouth.

“Just about twelve weeks,” John said. “Out of the miscarriage woods. We’ll print you out a picture, though the view is going to be lots better in another few weeks.”

He removed the probe and helped her to sit up. June leaned a hip on the counter and John returned to his stool.

“You’re in perfect health,” her doctor said.

June handed Mel a tissue. “I’ve been there, Mel,” June said. “Believe me.”

Finally John said, “What’s the matter, Mel? How can we help?”

She blotted her eyes. “I’m sorry to do this to you, but it’s just so complicated.”

John reached out to her and gave her knee a squeeze. “It probably isn’t as complicated as you think.”

“Oh, wait,” she said with a weak, embarrassed laugh. “How about I start by telling you I’m hopelessly infertile.”

He gave a little laugh. “Let’s see—you have a uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes…And I’ve heard this business of not being able to get pregnant from pregnant women before.”

“And I went through three years of infertility treatment, including surgery, without success. We even had one very expensive, very failed attempt at in vitro.”

“Well, that puts an interesting spin on things. Maybe you should back up a little. You don’t have to talk to us, Mel. It’s up to you.”

“No, I want to. I need advice. I’m a mess. See—before moving up here from L.A., I was married. My husband was a doctor—we often worked together. We tried desperately to have a baby. He was killed when he happened into a robbery in progress. That was a year and three months ago. Almost exactly. I came up here looking for a simpler life, a safer life. I just wanted to start over.”

John shrugged. “Kind of looks like you found what you were looking for.”

She laughed. “Virgin River isn’t all that simple. But yes, in some important ways, I found what I was looking for,” she agreed. “Of course, this wasn’t planned. I didn’t think it was possible for me to get pregnant.”

“Is the problem Jack?” June asked.

“Yes, but he doesn’t know it. He’s so wonderful, but he knew from the beginning that I wasn’t quite over my husband. I adore Jack—you can’t imagine—but I still haven’t gotten to that point where I feel free to move on to—” She took a breath. “To another man.” They gave her a moment and another tissue. “This is supposed to be my baby with my husband. The one we tried so hard to have.” She blew her nose. June stepped forward and took her hand. “It seems apparent that Jack loves you. And that he’s a good man.”

“Good with children,” John put in.

“Whether you planned to or not,” June said with a shrug, “it appears you have moved on. At least in some ways.”

“The last time I gave my heart and soul to a man, he died,” she said with a sniffle. Then she lowered her head and a couple of tears fell on the hands folded in her lap. “I don’t think I could survive something like that again.”

June stepped forward and took her into her arms and John was quick to join her. They comforted her for a minute. Then John gave her shoulders a squeeze and said, “Mel, I like Jack’s chances. Five wars couldn’t kill him.”

“Five wars?” June asked.

John shrugged. “You didn’t know that?”

“I knew he was in the marines!”

“Men actually do talk,” John said.

“That husband of mine,” she groused. “He’s so badly trained!”

“I’m so confused,” Mel said. “I don’t really know what to do!”

“Naw, that’s not true. It’s a done deal, Mel,” John said. “Now you just have to be a little kind to yourself and work through it. You wanted a baby real bad, and you’re having one. Jack—he doesn’t know?”

“No. He knows I’m widowed—he’s the only one who knows in Virgin River. But he doesn’t know how hard I tried for a baby. He’s been so supportive of me in my grieving moments—he hasn’t said a word to anyone, because I asked him not to. It’s easier, you know—when people don’t look at you that way. Like you might be in constant pain. But,” she said, “he also offered to take care of our birth control concerns, and of course I told him I had it covered. I was absolutely sure I couldn’t get pregnant. God, I’d never do this to a man!”

“He’s a good man, Jack. He’s going to understand.”

“He’s going to think I tricked him, isn’t he? I mean, he’s forty!”

“Yeah, lot of that going around, too,” June said. “I remember dealing with some of these same issues when I found out I was pregnant. Jim was over forty when I broke it to him that he was going to be a father. I was afraid he’d bolt.”

“I had surgery to remove endometriosis, had my tubes blown out, took hormones, took my temperature every day for two years…” She hiccupped. “We tried everything. Mark wanted a baby as badly as I did. I’m telling you—I’m completely sterile!”

“Welll….” they both said.

“It’s the funniest thing,” John said. “Nature suffers to fill a void. I can’t believe how many miraculous pregnancies I’ve seen…”

“What if Jack is furious? Who would blame him? I mean, he hasn’t even been in a serious relationship, and here I come. Bouncing into town, telling him I have the birth control issue covered. What if he just says, no, thank you?”

“Something tells me he’s not going to say that,” John said. “But, there’s only one way to find out. And—at three months—I’d recommend you not wait much longer.”

“I’m afraid,” she said quietly.

“Of Jack?” June asked, shocked.

“Jesus, of everything! I’m not even sure I should be here! From the beginning, I thought it was a mistake, making such a big change. I’m a city girl.”

“You’d never know it,” June said. “You seem to fit in just fine.”

“Some days I think this place was just what I needed. Other days I ask myself what I’m doing here. Not only that, do you know how scary it is to think of being committed again and opening myself up to the pain that follows when something goes terribly, terribly wrong? I’m afraid to move on—even though you’re right—I already have. I still cry sometimes—over my dead husband. How can I ask another man to put up with that?” She drew in a jagged breath. “At the very least, we should have been able to plan for a possible baby before…”

June held her hand. “Hardly any of us manages to work things out that neatly,” she said. June lifted Mel’s chin with a finger and looked into her eyes. “I think you should try to remember two things—you have a baby inside you now, a baby you longed for. And a good man back in Virgin River. Go with it, Mel. You’ll know what to do.”