“Don’t stop biting me. I fucking love that.”

Of course she does as she’s told. I carry her to the couch and fall on top of her, spreading her legs and driving back in. I fuck her for hours and soon the sun is coming up, and she is raw and exhausted and almost incoherent from orgasm overload but I still don’t want to stop. I can keep going for hours more if I want to.

“Vandal … please …” she breathes, pushing me away. “I can’t anymore.”

“Do not push me away from you. Ever.” I pull her leg up, wrapping it around my waist as I roll onto my side next to her.

“You’ve been fucking me non-stop since your brother left. Are you okay? Did you have a fight or something?”

“No.”

“He asked me if I recognized him.”

My heart jumps into my fucking throat. “Do you?”

“No. I would remember him.”

“What do you mean by that exactly, Tabitha?”

She swallows nervously and I enjoy the glimmer of fear I see in her eyes. “He’s different looking, with the hair and all the tattoos. Like you. I would remember him.”

I stare down at her and run my hand slowly up her thigh. “You think my little brother is hot?”

“Vandal he looks so much like you there is no way I can answer that without it coming out wrong. If I think you’re hot, then he would have to be hot, too.” Jealousy kicks in but I tamper it down. At least she’s being honest. If she had denied being attracted to him I would have known she was lying, and that would bother me even more.

“He’s nicer than I am. He doesn’t tie up Ivy and fuck her raw.”

Rubbing her foot slowly up my naked leg, she locks her gaze onto mine and takes a moment to answer me.

“Poor Ivy,” she says, her voice raspy. “She doesn’t know what she’s missing.” She pulls my head down to her and kisses me in that soft, teasing way that drives me wild.

***

My phone rings later that night, but I’m still awake. Thinking. I check the screen and see that it’s Sydni.

I slide my finger across the screen and answer. “Yeah?” I lean up a little, keeping my other arm around Tabi, who’s sleeping beside me.

“Hey, you sleeping?”

“No worries. You okay?”

“Yeah, just crazy busy and I figured if I didn’t call you now I’d keep forgetting.”

I laugh at her. “I get it. What’s going on?”

“Next Saturday night Sugar Kiss is playing at the Rabbit Hole. We want you to play some A&E songs with us, to get you back on stage a little bit. It’ll be fun, like old times.”

Excitement floods through my veins thinking about playing on stage again. “Shit, that would be cool.”

“So do it.”

“Yeah, Syd. That would be fucking great. Text me the details and I’ll be there.”

“Well that was easy. The girls will be stoked.”

“I’ll see ya there.”

I end the call and lay awake for a while thinking about how cool my life would be if I could play with Ashes & Embers again and have Tabitha in my life. Lukas is right; I can’t keep lying to her. Every day is another nail in the coffin. I make up my mind right there that I’m going to take Tabi to the gig next week, slowly get her introduced to my life and then tell her the truth.

I leave the bed without waking her, pull on some pants and go downstairs into the basement. I find what I’m looking for in the far corner. Kneeling on the floor, I open the box and suck in a deep breath. I pull out her blanket and a teddy bear, and hold them to me, inhaling her scent.

Fuck, I miss her. So much.

Tabitha

“Sugar Kiss?” I repeat, my head in the refrigerator. “I’ve never heard of them.” Closing the door, I pop a grape in my mouth. He’s standing across the room, arms crossed, leaning against the wall.

“Are you serious? You’re a chick; you should love them. They’re an all-girl rock band.”

“I told you I mostly listen to new-age music, like harps and flutes.”

“Well hopefully you’ll enjoy it if you come. They’re good friends of mine. I’ve known Sydni the longest. She’s a bass player too, and in a few weeks, when my band goes on tour, she’s going to be filling in for me. Her band has opened for us a few times, and we’ve played a lot of gigs together over the years, so we know each other’s songs,” he explains.

“So, what band are you in? I don’t think you ever told me.” He follows me into the living room and watches me hunt for my e-reader, which I can never find when I want it.

“That doesn’t matter,” he replies. “I’m on a break from them.”

“It matters to me. I want to know so I can fan-girl.”

“Sit,” he says, pointing to the couch. “Now.”

I do as he says and look up at him, not understanding why he’s all jittery.

“We talked about this, remember? If you’re going to come with me, I need you to be discreet. Please don’t be telling your friends or posting it on social media or any of that shit.”

“I’m not. I was just curious,” I reply, pouting a little. “I’m proud of you, that’s all. You’re in a sorta famous rock band. Well, supposedly.” I smile at him playfully. “Do you have, like groupies and fans?”

“Maybe,” he says with a sexy smirk. “You know what the female fans do when they meet me?” He reaches down and strokes my hair.

“What do they do?”

“Anything I ask them to.” His eyes are dark and lusty. I don’t want to think about fans and groupies and all sorts of women touching him.

“Is that right?”

His hand slides down to caress my neck. “Yes. How do you feel about that? About me fucking other women?”

“It makes me feel sick and jealous,” I tell him.

“So you think I should give that part of my career up? The benefit of having as many women as I want?”

I nod and answer with confidence. “Yes.”

“That seems awfully greedy of you, Tabi. To keep me all for yourself. Doesn’t it?”

“Yes.”

He strokes his thumb across my lips and I suck it into my mouth, my eyes on his, watching as he sways a little. I love that I can affect him the way he does me. He pushes his thumb further into my mouth and I suck harder.

“You’re my naughty girl, aren’t you?”

I nod, and he slowly pulls his finger out of my mouth and licks it.

“Get in your position. I need to go get something.”

I go to the floor and kneel, palms down, and wait for him to come back. The anticipation of not knowing what he is going to do makes my pulse quicken and my skin flush.

Thankfully he is not gone long. I watch his feet cross the room, and he sits on the couch.

He taps my shoulder. “Kneel in front of me, Tabicat.”

I rise and turn, positioning myself to kneel in front of him, between his legs, keeping my eyes averted as I was taught.

“I have something very special for you. Look up at me.”

I raise my eyes to see him holding a small black box. “I had these custom made for you; I just wasn’t sure when I should give them to you. Now seems like a good time.”

He pulls what looks like a silver bracelet with little bells hanging off of it out of the box.

“These are slave bells, and this is an ankle cuff. I want you to wear this on your ankle.” He kneels down and fastens it around my ankle. I shake my foot and a faint tinkling bell sound comes from them. I love it.

“Vandal, thank you.” I lean to kiss him but he puts his hands up to stop me.

“I have something else for you, but it’s very important to me. I need you to think about it before you accept it.”

“All right. I promise I will.” My curiosity is running rampant. What else could he have in that little box?

His hands are shaking slightly as he lifts the next object out of the purple velvet-lined box. I stare at it, taking in its beauty but also the intense meaning behind it. It’s a silver necklace adorned with red crystals embedded in the chain, with a locking silver heart pendant at the center of the chain.

He turns the heart over. “It’s inscribed,” he tells me, his voice deep with emotion. I squint at the tiny words.

You are my heart. I am your armor.

My heart flip-flops. I cannot even speak as he lifts out a tiny key, showing me that it’s a real lock. I now know what this is. It’s a submissive collar. It’s one of the highest symbols of commitment and ownership between a Dom and a sub. I know for him that this commitment is huge.

I can’t stop the tears that pool in my eyes and slowly fall down my cheeks. “Vandal …” I whisper. I don’t know what to say, and even more so, I’m afraid to speak.

“If you accept this, we take things to a deeper level. While I have the option of being with other women, there will never be anyone else. I want this with you, Tabi, only you. I have no desire to fuck someone else, and I want you to feel confident in that. You will give yourself to me in every way, and I will always take care of you and cherish you. I have no doubt in my feelings for you and what I want. The length of time we’ve known each other doesn’t mean shit to me.” He fingers the necklace in his hands. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I want to sell my other house so I can buy a house that you help pick out and feel at home in, if you are open to that. I’d like a dedicated scene room for us, and a studio for you. I don’t know how you feel about selling your house—we can talk about all that later. I just want you to know that even though I probably don’t show it all in the right ways, I’m serious about this.”

There is a fine line to be walked where we are right now. This is not to be confused with an engagement ring. This is not a marriage proposal. I’m pretty sure there is no hope of having children together. This is a deep sexual and emotional arrangement. And while those other things could possibly be mixed in, I don’t think they are on the cards with him.