“You have to tell me your name,” I say softly. I simply can’t go one more day not being able to say his name. He rolls over on top of me, pinning me beneath him.

“I don’t have to tell you anything.” His voice is low and sexy.

Staring up into his eyes, I plead with him silently. I need to hear him say it. I need the honesty of who he is. His dark gaze locks onto mine and I can see the struggle behind it like a tormented storm. I tentatively touch his cheek. Please. Say it. Don’t let everything be a lie.

He takes a deep breath, his chest pressing against mine. “Vandal,” he finally says.

My eyes flutter closed as his name seeps into every pore of my being, the sound of it resonating through me, possessing me. Vandal. Some people are truly cursed by their names, their destiny sealed the moment it’s stamped into the world as who they are. Who they will become. What they will do.

“Wow,” I exclaim. “That’s an interesting name. I’ve never heard it before.”

“Good.” He exhales and holds me tighter. “I want you to sleep with me tonight.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I nod in the dark.

Vandal

My heart stopped when I told her my name, waiting for the recognition, the hatred, and the accusations to follow. Waiting for her to somehow know who I am. I mentally prepared myself for it. I even bought a pack of brand new shiny razor blades on the way home, knowing tonight she would ask my name. I could slice and dice all night after she spewed well-deserved verbal daggers at me and left me here to bleed and hopefully die. It didn’t happen, though. She stayed right here in my arms, sweet and soft.

My heart beat in rhythm with hers against my chest. Maybe this is meant to be. Maybe for once the universe has decided to give me a pass. Maybe the powers that be are finally bored with fucking me.

She lays her head on my chest and stares up at me with those wide, innocent eyes.

“What secrets are you hiding?” she whispers.

I hold her gaze, and I do what I do best. I capture her lips with mine and drag her into that place where desire shadows denial.

“If I tell you, you’ll hate me forever.”

Her breath hitches and she traces her finger down my cheek and presses it softly against my lips.

“Then don’t ever tell me.”

She falls asleep in my arms and I let her stay there. I don’t know how she manages to do it, but I want to break all my rules for her. It’s easy, because all I want is to see her smile and be the one that makes her happy. I want her to love me like she loved Nick.

No.

I want her to love me more than she loved Nick.

***

When I wake up, she’s still in my bed, but she’s curled up on her side facing away from me. I can’t take my eyes off of her beautiful back, the delicate curve of her spine. I run my palm over her pale skin, ideas flowing through my mind like a kaleidoscope. She moans softly while I caress her.

I know what I’m going to do today.

***

She’s eyeing me suspiciously with a grin on her face as she sips her coffee at the table.

“You look strangely happy this morning,” she says. “Should I be worried?”

I grin back at her. “Maybe a little.”

“Will you be leaving again today to not fuck another woman?”

“No, smart-ass. I’m going to spend the day with you.”

Visible pleasure spreads across her face. I finish off my omelet and push the plate away.

“Last night was perfect. You were perfect, Tabi. I could tell you learned some things from your reading.”

Her cheeks redden. “I like when you call me that. And last night … all I can say is wow.” She fingers the rim of her coffee cup and peeks up at me. “The way you make me feel … and the things you bought for me …”

“Today I have another surprise. I have to go down in the basement for a few minutes to get what I need. While I’m down there, I want you to make the bed and put your gifts back in the guest room. I’ll put them away. I don’t want you in that closet because I have more things in there for you.”

“Okay …”

“I wrote in the journal this morning while you were still sleeping. Please read it while I’m downstairs so you can be ready.”

She frowns. “I didn’t have time to write in it yet, though.”

“That’s alright. You can whenever you want.”

“I really like the journal idea. It’s kinda sweet.”

“Sometimes it might be, sometimes not.”

Downstairs, I find everything I need. I’m glad I store some of my extra supplies here. Once again I’m venturing into taboo territory, but as usual, I just can’t stop myself. I like doing what I’m not supposed to be doing and I especially like doing things I’m not supposed to do to Tabi. Mostly because she likes it, and I like that she likes what we’re not supposed to be doing.

Being bad can be very, very good.

She’s exactly where she should be when I go back upstairs, sitting at the dining room table. I know she sprayed bleach cleaner on the table and all the chairs, as I asked in the journal, because I can smell it.

I open the window to let some air in. “I don’t want you to get a headache from the bleach smell,” I say, then grab Sterling. “I’m going to put him in the bedroom while we do this. I can’t risk him jumping on my stuff or knocking shit over.”

While I’m putting the cat in the guest room, I see the journal has been moved, so I grab it to see if she’s written in it, and she has, right under my entry. I skim through my words and then study hers.

Tabi,

In just a few days, you have become a very bright light in my very dark life. Last night was everything I hoped it would be. I love how you trust me. I don’t think I will ever get enough of you. I can see the change in you already and I hope you see it in yourself. You’ve changed me too. I never had a plan with you, and I still don’t. I like where we’re heading, though.

There’s something I need to do with you and I think you will love it. I hope you will.

Clean the dining room table and the chairs with the spray bleach under the sink. I’ll meet you there.

V

Vandal,

I don’t know what’s happening between us. I didn’t have a plan either—I just wanted to feel again, and not be so numb and lifeless. You’re giving me that. Yes, it’s a lot different than what I was thinking, but I have no regrets. At least not yet.

The bleach sounds scary but I’ll do what you say. I wouldn’t want another a spanking.

Tabi

Grinning, I close the journal. Her snarky comments always make me laugh.

I methodically lay my equipment out on the table as she watches with a slightly horrified look on her face.

“Um, what are we doing, exactly?” she asks.

“I’m going to tattoo you.”

Her eyes go wide and she looks from me, to the gun, to the inkwells and back to me again.

“What? You can’t just tattoo a person. I could get an infection or something. And you need to know how to draw, don’t you? You can’t just start jabbing with that … thing.” She gestures at the gun and looks up at me as if I’ve completely lost my mind.

“Tabi, I’m a tattoo artist. I have been for about ten years. My brother and I own a shop. I can show you the website if you want, and you can see my portfolio. And all this stuff is brand new, totally clean and sterile. I know what I’m doing.”

“Are you serious? You’re a tattoo artist?”

“Yes. A fucking good one, too. People wait months to have me do their ink. You should feel very privileged.”

She’s still staring at all the equipment. “I don’t know. Is it safe to do here?”

“Yes.”

“Will it hurt?”

“No,” I lie. She narrows her eyes at me. “Okay, a little,” I add. “It feels kinda like a bunch of fuckin’ bee stings. Me? I like it. I think it’s therapeutic. Like acupuncture. I like pain.”

“Bee stings?” she repeats. “That sounds painful. And you’re weird.”

“I think you’ll be okay. I’ll be nice and gentle.”

“You really want to do this to me?”

“Yes. But only if you want me to. If you’re really against it, I won’t do it. It’s going to be on you forever, so I want you to want it.”

She studies the tattoos on my arms for a few moments.

“Did you do these?” she asks.

“I did some on my left arm. I did the dragon. Lukas did my right arm.”

She lightly touches my skin, tracing the designs. “Well … what did you have in mind for me?”

“Angel wings on your back. I was staring at your back this morning while you were sleeping and I just thought how fucking gorgeous you would look with angel wings. Your skin is so pale and perfect. It’ll be beautiful on you.”

She contemplates this, chewing her lip. “I kinda always wanted a tattoo but Nick wouldn’t let me.” Her gaze shifts to the floor.

I scoff. “Let you? What the fuck? You needed permission?”

“You are really in no position to be making judgments about what other men do or what kind of control they try to inflict on their wives. He thought tattoos were like, for strippers and whores. He didn’t want me to look trashy.”

“Is that how you feel, too?”

“No, I always thought body art was beautiful. I used to photograph a friend of mine who’s a model, and she had a lot of them. They were really sexy on her. They were tasteful, though. Not stupid things that meant nothing.”

“Is there some kind of design you’d prefer? I’ll do whatever you want. You don’t have to go with what I want.”

She flashes me an adorably wicked grin and touches my hand, leaning over to kiss my lips. “I forgot to kiss you this morning. And thank you for the ramming,” she says.