“I loved you, Cam. I never asked you for anything. That’s true. And yes, you were up front from the beginning, so shame on me for changing the rules. I have equal responsibility for this debacle, but just because I made a mistake doesn’t mean that I’m going to punish myself for the rest of my life and I’m damn sure not going to make my child suffer for my stupidity. I’d tell you to have a nice life, but somehow I don’t think that’s going to be possible because you’re far too content to wallow in your misery.”

She yanked open the door and walked out, slamming it behind her. It wasn’t until she got outside the front entrance that she remembered she hadn’t asked the cabbie to wait and now she was stranded at this damn monstrosity of a house.

“Miss Laingley, will you allow me to drive you home?”

She turned to see John standing there, his eyes soft with sympathy. It was the last straw. She burst into tears and then allowed him to guide her toward the waiting car.

Twenty

Cam sank into the chair behind his desk and buried his face in his hands.

He’d followed Pippa out the door and seen that John was giving her a ride home. He’d watched as the car drove down the lane, the lights disappearing in the distance.

For how long he stood there, numb, he didn’t know. He realized the door was still open and the wind had picked up. A chill had stolen over him but he knew it wasn’t the temperature. He was cold on the inside. Dead. Still breathing and yet dead. He had been for a long time.

Now, sitting at his desk, his gut clenched. His chest ached. It shouldn’t. He should be relieved. It was done. There was no possible way for Pippa to misunderstand.

Clean break. He’d done exactly what he should have done from the very beginning.

So why didn’t he feel vindicated? Relieved, even? He should be glad. He could go back to his unemotional existence where he didn’t have to feel pain.

Only none of that was true. He hurt now. He hurt so damn much that he couldn’t breathe around the knot in his throat.

He’d lost Pippa.

The very thing he’d tried to protect himself from was the pain of loss. The despair and frustration of not being able to keep a loved one safe was his reality. Right here, right now.

He’d lost Pippa. He’d lost his son.

His son.

An innocent, precious life.

A child who deserved to have the world at his feet. Two parents who loved him. A father who’d protect him from all the hurts and disappointments life had to offer.

Oh, God, he was a bastard. He was such an unfeeling monster, just what Pippa had accused him of being. Only he wasn’t unfeeling. Right now he’d give anything not to be able to feel this agony.

Seeing Pippa tonight and the evidence of just how low he’d brought her down made him want to die. She’d stood before him, pain in her eyes, and yet she’d still put herself out there. She’d taken a chance. Laid it all out.

And he’d slapped her down because he was afraid.

It was humbling to realize just what a coward he was. What a coward he had been for so long.

He’d been given something many people never got. Something others wished for, would kill for, would live every single day of their life in gratitude for.

A second chance.

Another chance at something so special and wonderful.

Pippa was a breath of fresh air into a life he’d quit living. He went through the motions. He performed. But he’d stopped truly living a long time ago.

Pippa had changed all that. From the moment he’d first seen her walk into a room, she’d been like a bolt of lightning to his senses.

Her smile, her laughter, her take-no-prisoners attitude. Her confidence. Her inner beauty. And her courage.

When he really stopped to consider just how much she’d had to shoulder alone these past few months it made him physically ill. She was young, had plans. She could have anyone and yet she’d chosen him. He’d made her pregnant and yet she soldiered on, making the best of a difficult situation.

She’d fought fiercely, was still fighting fiercely for his son. He was so damn proud of her and so damn ashamed of himself that he couldn’t bear to think about it.

He didn’t deserve her. She was right about that.

But he wanted her. Oh, God, he wanted her.

It was laughable that he’d actually thought that he could spare himself the pain of loss by shutting himself off and away, by closing the door on a relationship with Pippa.

He’d been so worried about losing her that the very thing he feared the most had happened. At his instigation!

Stupid didn’t even begin to cover it.

He pushed upward from his chair, suddenly agitated and more determined than he’d ever been in his life.

He loved her, damn it.

He’d lied to himself and to her. He’d spouted all kinds of crap about not wanting to love her. Yeah, he hadn’t wanted to but he did and that wasn’t going to change.

And now he had to crawl on hands and knees and beg her to give him yet another chance.

He hurried out of his office and through the kitchen to the garage. He yanked the keys from the hook, and not giving any consideration to how he looked or how he was dressed, he climbed into the Escalade.

He was driving back to the damn city and he was going to her apartment and he didn’t care if it was four in the morning. This couldn’t wait. He couldn’t wait.

Some things needed to be done immediately, and this was one of them. He’d made her wait all this time. He wasn’t waiting another damn moment.

It had taken immeasurable courage for her to come to his house and face him down, tell him she loved him and wait with her heart on her sleeve.

How could he not do the same for her?

It would be the hardest thing and yet the easiest thing he’d ever do. Because when faced with the alternative of living his life without her and their son? Crawling didn’t seem so bad.

* * *

Pippa trudged into her apartment, weariness overtaking her. Her head ached from trying to hold off the tears. Her eyes were swollen and scratchy. She was heartsick and numb from head to toe.

She felt…lost. Like she wasn’t sure what came next. There was such finality to her confrontation with Cam. What was she supposed to do?

She sank onto the couch, tossed her purse onto the coffee table and closed her eyes. Her head throbbed. She needed sleep. At least there, she could escape for a while and not feel so horrible.

She arranged one of the cushions against the arm of the couch and pulled her feet up, curling up on her side. Exhaustion beat at her, making her remember that between her grand opening, Ashley giving birth and all the angst over Cam, she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in longer than she could remember.

She pulled out her phone, looked at the time and winced. She’d need to be up in just a couple of hours. She set the alarm on her phone so she’d be sure to wake and then she reached over to set it on top of the coffee table next to her purse.

Then she closed her eyes and let the comforting blanket of sleep slide over her.

* * *

The smell of smoke woke Pippa from a dead sleep. She opened her eyes, confused by the darkness and the acrid smell of something burning. She blinked away the cloud of disorientation and then shoved herself up from the couch in horror.

Flames surrounded her and the scorching heat singed her skin. Everywhere there was a wall of orange fire and smoke billowing heavily. It was so dense she had no idea where she was or which way was out or if there even was a way out.

She breathed in and then coughed as her lungs burned. Panic slammed into her as she realized the horrific danger she was in.

Clutching her belly, she lunged from the couch, trying to see through the flames and smoke to know if she could make it to the door.

Then she remembered that in a fire, the safest place to be was as close to the floor as possible. She dropped down, as low as she could with her burgeoning belly, and pulled her shirt up to cover her nose and mouth.

Her phone. Where was her phone?

She turned back but lost sight of the couch in the haze of smoke. She was fast becoming so disoriented that if she didn’t do something now she was going to die.

She closed her eyes and pictured the layout of the room and forced her panic down so she could focus. She knew every inch of her apartment and she wasn’t going to let her hysteria make her do something stupid.

She had to save her baby. She had to save herself.

Still holding her shirt over her face, she began to crawl in the direction of the front door. Above her, flames licked over the ceiling and smoke billowed from every corner. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe and she was sick with worry of what this was doing to her baby.

Thoughts of her child renewed her determination to get out no matter what. She scrambled over hot, smoldering rubble and made it to the foyer. Just a little farther. There didn’t appear to be as much smoke close to the door and she put on a burst of speed, ignoring the cuts and burns to her palms and knees.

She was a few feet away when the door splintered and cracked and caved in. Smoke began drawing through the opening, pulling around her and enveloping her. She heard a shout and then strong hands gripped her, pulling her upward.

The fireman cradled her in his arms and barged out the front door into the cool night air. Around her, the world was a sea of flashing lights, smoke and flames shooting toward the star-filled sky.

“Is there anyone else in your apartment?” the fireman yelled to her.

She shook her head. “No,” she replied, dismayed by the fact the denial came out in a barely audible croak.

He carried her to a waiting ambulance where she was handed over to another man who promptly put her on a stretcher.

“The baby,” she rasped out. “I’m pregnant.”

An oxygen mask covered her face, blocking out anything further she’d say. The next thing she knew, she was laid flat, pushed into the back of the ambulance and two paramedics hovered anxiously over.

There was a prick in her arm. They shouted down questions to her. She tried to tell them she was okay, but she couldn’t say anything through the mask and her throat hurt too badly, anyway.

Numbly she lay there, trying to process what had just happened. Darkness grew around the edges of her sight and then one of the medics leaned down close, shouting at her to stay awake and with them.

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” she tried to say, but she couldn’t get her mouth to work.

She blinked twice and then the world went black around her.

Twenty-one

As soon as Cam turned onto Pippa’s street, his stomach dropped and his mouth went dry. He gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles as he accelerated.

The entire world was ablaze with flashing lights. Police cars, ambulances, fire trucks. The smell of smoke was heavy, and the sky was colored orange with the glow of flames.

He screeched to a halt in front of a police barricade and he was out of his SUV like a shot, running toward Pippa’s apartment. The entire row of buildings was ablaze and firemen directed a steady stream of water from multiple directions.

“Hey! You can’t go in there!”

He ignored the shout, his only thought to get to Pippa. Oh, God. Not again. Anything but this. He couldn’t lose her! A sob tore from his throat.

He’d just reached the front line of fire trucks and ambulances when he was hit by a flying tackle. He hit the ground hard and came up swinging. A police officer hovered over him, shouting something Cam couldn’t hear or understand.

Another officer joined in, helping wrestle Cam to the ground.

“Get off me!” he yelled hoarsely. “I have to get to her. Pippa! She’s pregnant! I have to save her.”

“You aren’t going anywhere,” the officer growled as he exerted more pressure over Cam’s neck. “Get it together, son. The entire block is on fire. You’ll just get yourself killed.”

“Don’t make us arrest you,” the other officer threatened. “I get that you’re worried, but they’re doing everything they can to make sure everyone gets out. Let them do their job. The last thing they need is to have to go in to save your stupid ass.”

“Let me up,” Cam demanded. “I have to know if she’s okay. Did they get her out?”

Slowly the first officer eased up on the arm across Cam’s throat. He glanced warily at Cam as he and the other officer hauled Cam to his feet.

“Don’t make any sudden moves,” the officer warned.

Cam put his hands up, his heart pounding with dread as he eyed the carnage around him. This was his worst nightmare playing out in real time.

Fate was dealing him yet another blow, one he may never recover from. But no, this wasn’t fate. He could have prevented this. If only he’d reached out as she had done. If he’d only been willing to take the chance that she had taken by coming to him.

He alone was at fault. If something happened to Pippa and their child, his life was over.

“Pippa,” he said hoarsely. “Pippa Laingley. She lived there.” He pointed at her apartment, his hand shaking, his voice cracking under the weight of his terror. “She would have just gotten home not so long ago. She was tired and upset. Please, can you just tell me if they found her?”

The officer pointed at Cam, his expression stern. “You stay here. I’ll go see what I can find out.” He gestured for the other officer to stay with Cam.

He watched the officer wade through the firefighters and other EMS workers. It was all he could do to stand there while his heart was dying with each breath. The officer standing beside him eyed him with sympathy.

“They got several out already,” he said in a low voice. “Many have already been taken to the hospital. I’m sure if she was in there that they got her.”