I watch the shiny copper coin sink to the bottom of the fountain. “Okay…tell me what you wished for.”

“I wished you would never doubt me again. I’ve spent almost eighteen years being there for you, Angel. Because I want to. No one ever made me or expected me to. You’re just where I always wanted to be.”

My heart nearly stops.

I close my eyes for a long moment as his words echo through me, bouncing off the walls of my soul before settling into my heart where they’ll live forever.

“Tor…”

“Don’t,” his voice is low, a subtle warning. “Just make your wish.”

My hand shakes as I throw my penny, I miss, and it lands in the grass somewhere, lost in the dark.

“Shit.” I mutter. My wish lays in the lawn someplace, unspoken. And maybe that’s for the best right now.

“I’ll get it.”

I can’t take my eyes from him as he kneels over in the dark, hunting for my penny like it’s a buried treasure. His inked arm flexes with hard muscle as he runs his hand through the grass, and my insides flutter in response. I shouldn’t be looking at him this way, or thinking of him this way, but I can’t tear my attention from him.

You’re where I always wanted to be.

It was obvious he didn’t want to say those words. But something inside him made him say it, like he had to say it, like they were eating at him, threatening him to let them out. The taboo of what could be hiding in the depths of him awakens a part of me that feels like it’s been waiting, patiently, silently for him to come.

Warmth starts in my stomach and spreads like a slow fire, down between my thighs, and up to my chest. My pulse speeds up as I watch him, my head becoming light.

I can’t think.

I should be scared. I should recognize this as wrong. I should go inside.

But I’m not, and I don’t, and I can’t, because he suddenly looks over at me and smiles, holding my lost penny up triumphantly like my eternal hero, and it chases all those doubts away, leaving the truth staring me right in the face.

We are an us.

8

Tor

Kenzi ~ age five

Toren ~ age twenty

My little sister leans over the princess-shaped cake with a big smile and blows out her seven candles. Mom’s dining room is filled with people – my aunts, uncles, cousins and brothers and a few little kids from Tesla’s class. It’s been six months since my father passed away and this is the first I’ve seen most of the people in this room smile in a long time. Including myself.

Tessie starts to open her presents, with Kenzi sitting at her side, taking the discarded wrapping paper from her and shoving it in a big garbage bag, always the little neat freak. I wink at her across the room, and she waves at me.

“Tesla seems better,” I say to my mom when I bring some plates into the kitchen to help her clean up.

“She’s doing much better, but she still cries at night sometimes. She misses him a lot.”

“I know,” I agree softly. “We all do.”

I help her load the dishwasher. “We should be going soon. Sydni has a class in the morning, and I have to get Kenzi to kindergarten on time for once.”

“You two are babysitting again?” she asks, with a slight emphasis on the ‘again’.

“Yeah, just for a few days.”

“It’s nice you and Sydni help out so much.” She wipes her hands on a dish towel and folds it neatly before putting it back on the counter.

“We don’t mind. She’s a good kid, like Tessie.”

“Toren…” she starts and then stops for a moment. “I’m going to ask you something, and I just want you to tell me the truth. I’m your mother, and I love you. I won’t judge you.”

I raise my eyebrows and take a step back. “Whoa, Mom. That sounds heavy.”

“Is she yours?”

I stare at her in shock, the smile fading from my face. “What?”

“Just answer me. Is that my granddaughter in there?”

“Fuck, Mom. Is that what you think?”

“She looks like you…”

“I look like him. Everyone says we look like brothers. Even you said it when we were young. We’ve always looked alike.”

She nods. “Yes…that’s true.”

Her eyes bore into me, waiting.

“I can’t believe you’re asking me this, after all these years, Mom. You really think I’d let someone else raise my own kid?”

“She’s with you all the time.”

“Because her family is never around. They’re all wrapped up in their own shit, being famous people. She can’t live out of a fucking suitcase all the time. She needs some stability sometimes, and she likes staying with me. They’re our best friends. What’s the big deal?”

“It’s not a big deal, hon. Your devotion to her is sweet. You’re a good friend to them. I just wondered if there was more to it than you just doing your friends a favor.”