His nostrils flare in anger as he moves towards my front door. “Stay away from my kid. If you really do love her? Let her go and give her a chance to grow up.”

I open the door and shove him hard through it. “Get the fuck out of my house.”

He takes two steps out and then turns to me with a grin. “Oh, you just reminded me I hold the mortgage to this house. That makes it my house. You’ve got two weeks to pay what’s owed or get your ass out of it,” His hand waves at me as he walks towards his car. “Good luck, douchebag.”

Fuck.

I punch the wall and fall to the floor in emotional and physical agony.

I just lost my best friend. And now I’m going to lose my home because I’m pretty sure I don’t have seventy-five thousand dollars laying around.

And next will be Kenzi.

I can feel it deep in my gut. He’s going to do whatever he can to keep her away from me, and he’ll succeed, because Asher just has that kind of natural persuasive power over people.

As I lay in pain with the dog and the kitten on my lap, falling in and out of a sense of consciousness, I wonder if what he said is right.

Maybe I’m supposed to let her go.

34

Kenzi

Kenzi ~ age one month

Tor ~ age fifteen

Ember ~ age fifteen

“There you are,” Ember whispers, coming into the nursery.

She peeks into the baby’s crib and then looks me over, sitting in the rocking chair two feet away.

“Thank you for putting her to sleep. I’m sorry I got stuck on the phone with my sister.”

“It’s okay. She went right to sleep. No crying.”

“She always does for you,” she says with a smile. “You don’t have to stay in here. You can go hang out with Ash. He’s home now.”

Standing, I walk over to the crib and gently rub my finger over the baby’s tiny hand curled up into a tiny fist next to her face. “I like watching her sleep. She’s so peaceful.” I say.

That’s true, but I don’t tell Ember that I saw a show about SIDS and now I’m petrified of Kenzi never waking up. I lay awake at night worrying about it and always end up watching her sleep if I’m hanging out at Asher’s place.

“She is. I didn’t know I could love her so much.”

I didn’t know I could, either.

Kenzi

Of course I don’t go to bed like my father told me to. I sat in the dim living room with a small Tiffany lamp giving off the only light and stared at my parents’ wedding picture hanging over the fireplace. Tor and I are in the picture too, him standing next to my father, smiling, and me standing next to my mother in a little white dress holding a bouquet of pink roses. I wait almost two hours, never expecting him to come home with a bloody nose and swollen eye.

“Oh my God, he hit you?”

“I hit him first,” he answers, wiping at his face with a dishtowel he must have taken from the kitchen on his way in here. Like it matters who hit whom first. I’m beyond angry and upset that they would actually resort to hitting each other. I had hoped they would just talk like adults.

“Dad!” I burst into tears. “I don’t want you guys to hurt each other. Why can’t you just talk?”

He falls onto the couch next to me. “Because I’m furious with him and I want to hurt him.”

“I don’t like you this way,” I sob. “This isn’t you. Mom would hate this, you know.”

He puts his arm around me, pulling me until my head is resting on his chest and he gently rubs the back of my head.

“I know, Kenz.” He answers softly.

“How bad did you hurt him? Is he okay?” I ask, crying against his chest. I can’t bear the thought of Tor being in any more pain. I want to get in my car right now and drive over to his house and never leave him again.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s a big boy.”

“I want to go see him.”

“No.” He answers firmly.

“Please, Dad. Don’t be like this.”

His hand continues to slowly rub the back of my head and his chest moves up and down as he sighs. “I want you to stay away from him, Kenzi,” his voice is lower and gravelly from yelling and I pray it doesn’t affect his upcoming tour. “It’s for the best, trust me. I know you don’t believe me, but you’re too young to be in a serious relationship with an older man. Especially one that practically raised you. He’s got your head all messed up.”

“He doesn’t. Not at all.” I protest.

“I want you to grow up and find yourself, Kenzi. Have fun. Date guys your age. Find something you want to do. Come on tour with me if you want. Just give yourself time to live before you make such huge commitments. You’ll thank me someday.”