As I lie panting on his bed in a daze of bliss, he comes up and stretches out next to me, pulling me so we’re both on our sides facing each other. I lift my face to his and kiss his wet lips, and another small surge of wetness pools between my thighs when his tongue pushes deep into my mouth and I can taste myself all over him.

“I could lick you night,” he says when we pull away.

“I don’t think I could take anymore,” I admit. “That was the most amazing feeling ever.”

He lets out a laugh. “I guess the boys don’t know what they’re doing, huh?” He teases.

“I have no idea. All I know is that was just like, wow.”

He grabs my chin and tilts my face back up to his. “Wait a sec…have you ever done that before?”

Heat rises to my cheeks. Did he really not know that I haven’t done anything sexually? Other than just kissing and a little groping?

“Kenzi?” He urges.

“No. Nothing like that. I’ve only kissed a few boys and then Jason groped me a little…but we never went any further.”

He immediately leans up and looks down at me, his face all serious. “Fuck, Kenzi. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what, exactly?” I stammer. “You knew I was a virgin.”

He shoves his hand through his hair. “Yeah but I thought you did some stuff. I’d be going a lot slower with you if I had known that. ”

“Tor, you just said earlier you didn’t want to baby me.”

“There’s a difference between babying you and slowly easing you into new sexual experiences.”

“I don’t want you to go slow, I want you to do what you would do with any other woman you’re with.”

He shakes his head. “Kenzi, I can’t do that. I want you to have good experiences for all your first times and I feel like I’ve totally bulldozed you. The way you responded to me made me think you’ve done some of this before.”

Now I sit up. “You haven’t bulldozed me. And I responded to you because it feels right and just seems to be coming naturally. I wanted you to be my first everything.”

His lays his hand across my bare stomach. “I still would have been, I just would have moved a lot slower, been gentler, and not come on so strong. This is what I meant by coercing.”

I shake my head vehemently. “You haven’t pushed me or coerced me. I don’t want you holding back. Like you said to me earlier, I want us both to just follow our feelings.”

He sighs and softens his voice. “I do, too. I’m wicked fuckin’ attracted to you, though. I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t want to be an animal around you if you’re not ready for it. That’s not fair for you.”

“I feel ready, Tor. You turn me on like crazy, too, and all I can think about is that I want more and more of you.”

I feel humiliated by this conversation. I want him to see me as a woman and not like a kid or someone who has to be treated delicately. I can tell that he has a ton of pent up passion in him, and I don’t want him to have to stop himself or force himself to slow down. Even though I know he would be doing it out of respect for me, it’s not what I want.

I pull my legs up and hug my knees. The last thing I want is him deciding that I’m just too young for him after all, or feeling guilty or uncomfortable about having sex with me. That will never work.

His hand strokes my hair. “Kenzi, don’t get upset.”

“I don’t want you to decide you need an older woman because I’m too much work.”

He scoffs. “That’s just fuckin’ crazy talk. Loving you isn’t work. I’m not that shallow and you know it. I don’t want to hear you saying things like that.”

“I don’t want to feel inadequate. I’ve met your girlfriends, Tor. I’ve seen you with them-”

“Stop,” He interrupts before I can say anymore. “Don’t you dare compare yourself to them.”

“It’s hard not to. Sydni is gorgeous…”

“Kenzi, I can make a list of about a hundred things that make Sydni very ungorgeous. You’re beautiful and sexy and I love who you are as a person. You’re the whole package for me. Nobody else has ever come close.”

I turn my head to peek at him over my shoulder. “Really?”

“Really.”

Oh God. Someday Sydni will know we’re together. I can’t even imagine what she’ll say to me. Or to Tor. She’ll lose her shit completely. My stomach plummets just thinking about the crazy she’ll unleash on us.

“Tor…have you thought about how Sydni will react if and when she finds out about us?”

“I’ll handle her.” His tone is clipped, his current distaste for her clear.