Despite being newly raw and torn, my core responds to his words by quivering and my pulse picks up speed. I want him to touch me again. I want to feel him everywhere and get lost in that indescribable euphoria of him again. I lay my hand on his leg, my fingers reaching for his muscular thigh. “You can do that.”

He breaks out into a wide grin that makes my heart swoon. “Don’t tempt me, please. You’re going to be sore.”

“I don’t care if it hurts.”

“I do.”

“So…we’re going to do it again? Someday?” I ask shyly.

He lets out a long sigh. “Kenzi…we need to think for a few days, okay? If we do this…try to be together…it’s not going to be easy. It’ll be messy as fuck.”

“I know. But if we both want it, we’ll find a way to make it work, right? Isn’t that what people do?”

“Yes…but there’s just a lot involved we have to think about. No matter what, Kenzi…I don’t want you to get hurt or start your life in the middle of a secret affair. You know I want better than that for you.”

“You’re what’s best for me.

He chuckles sarcastically “You’re the only one that will think that.”

“Isn’t that all that matters?” I shoot back at him.

He covers my hand on his leg with his. “I wish. But your father is my best friend, Kenzi. I love him just as much as I love you. I’ve known your entire family since I was seven years old. They matter to me. You matter to them. What my own family will think matters to me. How people might treat you matters to me.” Any trace of a smile fades from his face, replaced with overwhelming worry. “My head is fucking spinning.”

“So what do we do?” It all sounds so grim when he lists it out like that.

He touches my chin and tilts my face up to his, kissing my lips softly. “First, I tell you I’m fucking crazy in love with everything about you,” he kisses the tip of my nose. “Second, we both need to put some serious thought into this before we take any more steps. And I hate to do this to you, but I need you to not tell anyone about this until we have our heads straight about what we’re going to do. If and when Asher finds out about us, it has to come from us and no one else.”

“I won’t tell anyone, Tor. I promise. I don’t ever want to hurt you or my father. That would kill me.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of, Kenz. Of you getting hurt in the crossfire of this and being torn between me and your father.”

I cling to him and he puts his arms around me as the brevity of that sinks into me. Choosing between Tor and my father would devastate me. I love them both with every bit of my heart and soul and hurting either of them is unthinkable.

“Please, Tor. We can’t let that happen.”

“Shh…” He cradles the back of my head and tightens his embrace around me. “I know, baby. Just let me think and I’ll find a way to make it work.” His lips brush across my cheek. “For months I’ve wanted to have you in my arms like this…let’s just focus on us for tonight.”

“I would love that.” I whisper.

He props all his pillows up against the headboard, and leans back against them, pulling me on top of him so I’m laying between his legs, with my back against his chest, my head resting on his shoulder. He wraps his big arms around me and holds me against him, clasping my hands in his.

“This is Heaven.” He says with his lips against my ear.

“It is. I want to stay just like this with you and never leave.”

His breathing changes, going from steady to deeper. “You have no fuckin’ idea what it does to me when you say things like that.”

“Tell me.” I tighten my hold on his hands, running my thumb along the black artwork on the back of his hand.

“It makes me think I can have everything with you. It makes me think you’ll never break my heart.”

My own breath catches as a wave of emotion surges through me. This man, with his arms wrapped so tight around me and his heart pounding against my spine isn’t the man I grew up knowing. This is someone who’s been hiding in the shadows; deep, dark, and hopelessly romantic. There’s a mix of fear and hope in his words, all tangled up together in a cocktail of turmoil.

I twist my head towards him. “I’ll never hurt you, Tor. Ever. Haven’t I been promising my undying love to you since I was five? It hasn’t changed.”

“Just don’t make promises you aren’t sure of. Please.”