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Her eyes hang on me for a long time. “Believe it or not, a lot of my clients don’t even come to me for sex. They just need a friend. Someone to listen. Most of them are just lonely. You can talk to me.”

I let out a laugh. “Seriously? Men pay you two grand just to talk? C’mon.”

An offended frown turns the corners of her mouth. “I’m totally serious. Obviously, something made you come here tonight.”

“Yeah, to fuck someone who’s not my sister.”

“Jesus, Ty, can you just drop the attitude? You don’t have to be an asshole all the time, ya know.” She looks down at the pillow she’s holding. “You used to be such a happy, sweet guy. That’s how I remember you.”

“Really? Because I remember you running from me screaming in terror.”

Tears glisten in her eyes when she looks back up at me. “For God’s sake. I was just a little girl. You can’t hold that against me forever. I’ve apologized for that more times than I can count.”

If only apologies had the magic to take pain away. What a better place the world would be.

I take off the guy-who’s-not-getting-laid hat and put on the concerned-big-brother hat. “Why are you doing this, Tess? Do you need money? Because if you do, I’ll give you money to keep your clothes on.”

“No, it’s not about money.” She fingers the silver hoop hanging from her ear. “I just can’t get into relationships and commitment, I’m not like you guys. But I like sex, and I like feeling like I’m making people feel better, whether its physical or emotional. And the guys treat me really good. They buy me gifts, they take me on vacation. For now, it works. It’s giving me what I need.”

A burn sears through my stomach. If Pop knew his little girl had turned to this kind of life, it would kill him. Just like I killed him with my attitude and addictions…I chew on the inside of my cheek, wishing I could light up a cigarette. “You shouldn’t be doing this. You’re so young.”

“That’s part of the appeal for most.” No surprise there.

“Is this even safe? Aren’t you scared?” Does she know what kind of sick monsters are out there?

Monsters like me.

“In every way. I use protection, I’m tested, I have a can of mace and a knife my purse. Last year I took a self-defense class. I’m totally fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”

How can I not worry about my sister getting paid for sex? “Does anyone know?”

“No, so please keep your mouth shut. Mom would never understand, and the guys would have me locked up in a nunnery someplace.”

I’m having a hard time accepting my little sister is getting banged by a bunch of rich guys, but I promise her I won’t tell anyone. She’s an adult, and it’s none of my business what she does with her time and her body. I don’t think our other brothers would feel that way, and they would probably flip the fuck out, but I’m staying out of it. Especially since there’s no way for me to tell them without admitting how I found out.

“If you tell anyone about this, I’ll break into your apartment and shave your head while you’re sleeping,” I warn her.

“Wow, Ty. Dramatic much?”

“Let’s just keep this epic disaster between us.”

“Fine.”

Thank fuck she spoke before we actually touched. I’d slit my own throat if I accidentally touched my sister. My skin crawls thinking about it.

“Are you okay?” she asks. “We miss you. You don’t have to be alone and live like you do. You have a family that loves you and wants you around.”

“I like being alone.” Except when Holly’s around; then I never want to be alone again.

She stares at me in frustration. “I’m sorry about tonight; I really had no idea. I can set you up with one of the other girls. Someone nice—”

“No,” I snap. “I don’t want someone nice.”

A sly smile crosses her lips. “Okay, then I’ll set you up with someone dirty. Someone else who’s into what you want.”

Dirty sounds perfect. I need physical and emotional freedom to just go wild on someone without worrying about whether I’m hurting them or taking them for a walk down fucked-up-memory lane.

“Just stop, Tessie. Fuck this whole thing.”

“Your choice. I’m not going to force you. But for the record, I don’t think you have to pay for sex. Even kinky sex. You’re not ugly.”

I laugh. “Trust me. Nobody wants to be with me.”

“I think that’s bullshit in your own head. Look at you. You have a great body, your tattoos are awesome, and girls love that messy hair. And you ride a loud bike, that’s another turn on for a lot of women.” She tilts her head. “If Mickey Rourke and Kurt Cobain had a baby, he’d probably look like you.”