Author: Jodi Ellen Malpas

Huh? ‘It’s only a draft. I have to do some mood boards, scale drawings, lighting plans, that sort of thing.’ I don’t know if I’ll be doing any of those things. I’ve fallen into a deep state of depression after being ejected from his office and warned off by Sarah. I’ve got to seriously re-think what I’m doing here. ‘Will you take me home?’

His head shoots up, his green eyes laced with concern. ‘Are you okay?’

I push my numb backside up from the floor, using every ounce of strength I have to plaster a smile – as fake as Sarah’s – onto my face. ‘I’m fine. I’ve got some work stuff to sort out for tomorrow.’ I smooth my dress down.

‘I thought you didn’t work on weekends?’

‘It’s only work-ish.’

‘-ish?’ He looks up at me with a small smile. I could cry.

‘Yes, ish,’ I shrug.

Take me home so I can think without you there to distract me with your beautiful face and body.

‘Okay,’ He gets up from the floor with ease and hands me back the pad. ‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ he presses.

I maintain my fake smile. ‘I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?’ I fight my hand back to my side when it reaches up to grab a piece of hair.

He eyes me suspiciously. ‘Come on then.’ He takes my bag and fills my empty hand with his.

‘The tray,’

‘Pete will get it.’ He dismisses my concern and leads me out of the room, back downstairs.

I want to release my hand from his, but I don’t want to give him any reason to suspect I’m anything other than fine. It’s hard, especially when I’m the furthest away from fine that I could possibly be. The more I touch him, the more attached to him I’m becoming.

As we land in the entrance hall, Jesse glances around nervously. ‘Wait here, I need to get my phone and keys. Actually, go and get in the car. It’s open.’ I frown as he ushers me out of the door before he jogs off towards his office.

I take myself down the steps of The Manor, across the gravel to the DBS. Before I make it to the car, I hear the laughing of a certain acid tongued, pouty faced beast. I tense from top to toe and swivel on the gravel, only to find her stood at the top of the steps with Jesse.

‘Okay, sweetie. See you later.’ She reaches up and kisses his cheek. I heave. ‘Hope to see you again, Ava.’ she calls.

Her icy stare penetrates me as Jesse approaches and gives me my bag before taking my hand again. I’m put in the car, and as soon as the engine is started, my ears are invaded with Radiohead’s Creep. I smile to myself. Yes, why I’m here, is a damn good question.

Chapter 22

I leave Jesse with a chaste kiss and a look of trepidation all over his stunning face. ‘I’ll call you.’ I say casually, jumping out of his car. I can’t get away quick enough. I shut the car door and hurry up the path to Kate’s house. I don’t look back, shutting the door swiftly behind me and sagging against it.

‘Hey!’ Kate appears at the top of the stairs with a towel wrapped around her. ‘You okay?’

I can’t plaster the fake smile on anymore. ‘No,’ I admit. I’m way past being okay.

She looks at me with a mixture of confusion and sympathy. ‘Tea?’

I nod, peeling myself from the door. ‘Please don’t be too nice to me.’ I warn. Tears are threatening, and I’m willing myself to keep them under control.

I knew this would happen. Not this soon, but this nasty aching heart business was inevitable. She smiles, knowingly, and jerks her head. I drag myself up the stairs, finding her in the kitchen making tea.

I collapse in one of the mismatching chairs. ‘Has Sam gone?’

She spoons three sugars into her mug, and even though her back is turned away from me, I know she’s grinning. ‘Yeah.’ she says, way too casually.

‘Good night?’

She turns, narrowing her bright blues on me before she grins. ‘The man’s an animal!’

I scoff at her description of Sam. There’s a certain someone else I could nail that descriptor to. ‘Good?’

She pours boiling water into the mugs and adds milk. ‘He’s all right.’ She shrugs. ‘That’s enough about me. Why did you leave this morning looking like you’d had a similar night to me, and return a few hours later looking like you’ve been slapped?’ She takes a seat, handing me my tea.

I sigh. ‘I’m not going to see him again.’

‘Why?’ she cries.

I look up at a shocked, pale face. Why is she so stunned by my declaration? ‘Because Kate, without a shadow of a doubt, I’m going to get stung really nastily. He’s hazardous.’

‘How do you know that?’ she asks incredulously.

Well, that’s easy. ‘He’s a mature business man, way beyond rich and confident. I’m just a little play thing to him. He’ll get bored, toss me away and move onto someone else.’ I huff sarcastically. ‘Trust me…there will not be a shortage of women throwing themselves at his feet. I’ve seen the reaction he draws, I’ve experienced it. He’s incredibly fierce in the bedroom – and bloody good with it – and that tells me he’s not short of sexual conquests.’ I draw breath, while Kate looks at me agape. ‘He’s a woman magnet, possibly a womaniser. I’m already getting a reaction from Sarah.’ I slump back in my chair, grabbing my mug of tea.

‘Who’s Sarah?’

‘A friend, the one who I thought was the girlfriend. She doesn’t like me, and she’s made it perfectly clear.’

‘You’re not seriously jumping ship because of a few bitchy words from a woman scorned? Tell her to fuck off!’

‘No, it’s not just that, although I really don’t need claws digging in my back.’

She rolls her eyes. ‘My friend, you’re blind!’

‘No I’m not. I’m sensible,’ I defend myself. ‘And you’re bias.’ I spit. She’s made it perfectly obvious she likes Jesse, but why oh why, I don’t know. ‘Why do you like him so much?’

‘I don’t know.’ She shrugs. ‘There’s just something about him, isn’t there?’

‘Yes, and it’s dangerous.’

‘No, it’s the way he looks at you, like you’re the centre of his universe of something.’

‘Don’t be stupid! I’m the centre of his sex life.’ I correct her, suddenly considering the fact that I could, quite possibly, be one of many women he’s showing a good time to. The thought is painful and another reason to walk away while I’m still partly intact. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m already in pieces, but it’s only going to get worse the longer I let this go on.

‘Ava, you’re the master of denial.’ she scorns me lightly.

‘I’m not in denial.’

‘Yes, you are,’ Kate states firmly. ‘You’ve fallen in love with him. It’s easy to see why.’

‘I’m not in denial.’ I affirm, because I don’t know what else to say to that. Is it that obvious? I’m denying it all the way. It should make this painful process easier to bear. ‘I’m going to lie down.’ I push my chair away from behind my legs and it scraps along the wooden floor. I wince at the piercing sound. The hangover’s back with a vengeance.

‘Okay.’ Kate sighs.

I leave her in the kitchen to retreat to the sanctuary of my room, flopping on the bed and pulling a pillow over my head. I hate to admit it, but that pouty bitch is right. I can’t build my dreams of Jesse Ward. The thought is like a knife through my splitting heart.

***

I walk into the office for a fresh week, feeling anything but fresh. I didn’t sleep a wink, and I’m under no illusion as to why that is.

‘Morning, flower,’ Patrick calls from his office. He sounds better.

‘Hi.’ I try to sound chirpy but fail miserably. I can’t even muster up the strength to feign cheerfulness. I throw my bag by my desk and sit down to fire up my computer.

Within five seconds, my desk is screaming in protest as Patrick takes his usual pew. He looks much better as well.

‘What’s the state of play with Van Der Haus?’ he asks. This will be a project that Patrick will keep a keen interest in.

I reach under my desk to retrieve the small box of material samples that I abandoned on Friday. ‘These came on Friday,’ I say, laying some on my desk. ‘He’s emailed me the specifics and sent the drawings over.’

Patrick flicks through the pile of swatches – all in neutral tones of beige and creams, some patterned, some not. ‘They’re a bit boring, aren’t they?’ he grunts disapprovingly.

‘I don’t think so,’ I pull out a lovely, thick striped piece. ‘Look.’

He turns his nose up. ‘Not my cup of tea.’

‘It doesn’t have to be.’ I remind him. He’s not going to be buying a posh apartment in The Life Building. ‘Mr Van Der Haus is back from Denmark today. He said he would call about a site visit. I’m going to crack on, if you don’t mind.’

Patrick stands, and I perform my usual wince as the desk creaks. ‘Yes, you carry on,’ He eyes me suspiciously. ‘Tell me to mind my own if you like, but you don’t seem yourself. Is there anything the matter?’

‘No, I’m fine, honestly.’ I lie.

‘Are you sure?’

No!

‘Yes, Patrick.’ I try, and fail terribly, to sound sure. My phone starts jumping around my desk and Sam Sparro’s Black and Gold blares around the office. I frown, picking it up to see Jesse’s name flashing on the screen. He’s been messing with my phone again. My heart flutters and not in a good way. I can’t speak to him.

‘I’ll let you get that, flower. Keep that pretty little chin up. That’s an order!’

Patrick leaves me as I silence my phone, but no sooner has it stopped, it starts replaying again. I push the button to shut it up, placing it on my desk and throwing myself into some work. I find the email from Mikael. It’s brief, but there’s enough information for me to start compiling my designs.

Fifteen minutes later, my phone is still ringing and I’m getting sick of the track and sick of reaching over to shut the damn thing up. I was delusional if I thought he was going to make this simple for me. My text alert starts chiming, but instead of deleting it – which would be the sensible option – I open it.

ANSWER YOUR PHONE!

Oh, here we go. Sam Sparro starts playing up again, and I silence my phone…again. I’m never going to get any work done at this rate. Then there’s another text.

Ava, speak to me, please. What have I done?

I pop it in my top draw and try to forget about him. What has he done? Nothing really, but I’m sure, if I give him the opportunity, he will. Or will he? Oh, I don’t know. But instinct tells me to walk away.

‘Sal, if anyone calls the office I’m on my mobile, okay?’ I know that will probably be his next move.

‘Okay, Ava.’

I start cracking on with my mood boards and drawings for Mikael. I’ve not even seen the apartments yet, but I have a good idea of where I’m going with this and, surprisingly to me, I’m quite excited.

I pop to the deli at lunch time to grab a sandwich, returning to the office to eat it. I’m informed by Sally that a man called while I was out, but he didn’t leave a message. Of course, I know who it is, but I’m on a roll and I don’t want to interrupt my momentum, so I disregard his persistence. With Victoria and Tom out of the office all day on various appointments, I’m not being side tracked with drama from Victoria and seedy stories from Tom. I can’t let Jesse distract me either.