He muttered softly against her lips as he moved harder and faster. The passion of it took her away and she could hear herself crying out even as she clutched him tighter. And then her world lit up as she enjoyed a completely magnificent orgasm that left her panting. She heard something of a growl come from Beau as he held her tight and enjoyed the spasms. He pushed into her as hard as possible and she gasped.

“God,” he whispered.

Then it took him only a few deep thrusts to join her. It showed on his face—his clenched lips and eyes—his pleasure was as complete as hers. They both lay trembling and weak with satisfaction. Neither spoke, but they held each other. Shivering, Beau reached down and pulled the sheet and blanket over them, but he didn’t let go of her. He rolled with her to their sides.

He kissed her again and again. “That was incredible,” he finally said. “Wasn’t that incredible? You’re wonderful. Perfect.”

She started to laugh. She actually started with a snort and she didn’t just chuckle girlishly, she laughed hilariously.

“How is this funny?” he asked, propping himself up on an elbow.

“Oh no... No, I can’t bring ghosts of past experiences to our completely new and wonderful...” She laughed more. Then she cleared her throat. “I’ve been told...” Laughter caught her again. She coughed, cleared her throat and tried again. “I’ve always been told I should try harder. That I was a disappointment.”

Beau was clearly not amused. He didn’t join in the laughter. “Sounds like someone else should have been trying harder. You’re amazing.”

“That was pretty perfect, wasn’t it?” she asked. “It felt that way to me. I suspect it was you, though. I was just responding because I couldn’t not.” She smiled. “And that’s perfect, isn’t it?”

“Completely. But with a little practice, we’ll become slightly better than perfect. And I look forward to that.”

“It just kind of happened,” she said, snuggling close to him. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“I’ve been thinking about it for months...”

“I wondered if I would be afraid, if I would be nervous and self-conscious, if it was too reckless. I’m never reckless, you know.”

“Was it any of those things?” he asked.

She shook her head. “I felt very natural. Very good. Very right.”

“Lauren, don’t panic. Just let me show you how important you are to me,” he said. “We’ve only nibbled around the edges of this subject but I know you don’t feel free to move on in your love life. I’ve tried to keep that in mind. God knows, I don’t want to scare you off. Coming off a painful marriage, the thought of diving into a new relationship must be terrifying...”

“Is it terrifying for you?” she asked.

He shook his head. “It didn’t just occur to me that I could fall in love with you. It’s been growing in me. The more we’ve gotten to know each other, the stronger my feelings are. I’ve never felt like this before—there is zero doubt in me. We’re going to be happy together.”

“I have to ask you something,” she said, her hand on his cheek. “Was there doubt the last time? With her?”

“There was,” he said. “I made excuses for her—she’d been through a lot. She’d been abandoned by the fathers of her sons. She’d been left to struggle. Why should she trust me? I cared about her. I had sympathy for her situation. I worried about the boys—they needed a constant and stable role model. I thought in time when she could see I could be trusted, we’d be all right. I don’t regret it, Lauren. I’m not sorry I took them on.”

“I know,” she said.

“And you? Did you ever have doubts?”

She laughed as if embarrassed. “Yes, I had doubts from the first and almost didn’t go through with it. Mrs. Delaney ordered everyone out of our room and then she dressed me down. She was so terrifying. I wanted to run for my life. Instead, I did exactly as she said. I dried my tears, put on fresh eye makeup and married her son. I spent over twenty years being ashamed of my lack of courage.”

“You had to be strong to get through those years as well as you did,” he said.

“Not the right kind of strong. My boss and new friend, Bea, she threw out an abusive man and raised four children alone, working and going to school with no one to help her—she’s the kind of strong I’d rather be.”

“I agree, that’s admirable.”

She smiled tenderly. “Oh Beau, I thought we’d be friends and wondered how I would manage to make you more. You’re so damn chivalrous.”

He laughed. “Am I?”

“Buying a coffee, waiting in the garden, staying with me after Brad attacked me, coming by the house with soft food...you are the most perfect gentleman. And I love it.”

“I just want to be with you,” he said. “That’s all. I can be patient, I can be discreet, but I’m ready.”

She grinned. “I think I’d like to have a boyfriend.”

“What will your daughters say?” he asked.

“I’m not sure,” she said. “But I will remind them that they’ve brought a very entertaining variety of boyfriends to my house, some of them truly awful, and I’ve always been welcoming and courteous.”

“You were?” he asked.

“Damn straight,” she said. “If I wasn’t, they’d have married them before midnight! I might not be good at marriage, but I know how mothering works.”

He stroked her back. “I think you know how everything works...”

“I had a lot of doubts with Brad,” she said. “With you, I have none.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Beau’s life changed instantly. In a day. Maybe in an hour. When he told Lauren how deeply he cared for her she responded and the bond was sealed. In her body, he found ecstasy.

Over the next few days, he couldn’t be away from her much. He tried to move slowly but it was agonizing. They’d spent months carefully discovering each other and after making love, they found there were more discoveries awaiting them, the kind that forged a new and intimate relationship. One that felt immediately secure and deeply fulfilling. “I was content with my life,” he whispered to her. “I wasn’t aching for something more, something or someone to make me happier. But you’ve filled up an empty place inside me that I didn’t even know was there. You’re everything to me.”

“Oh, I definitely wasn’t looking for anyone,” Lauren said. “I didn’t trust myself. I was afraid I wouldn’t know the real thing if it knocked me over. But this feels right. Please be careful with my heart, Beau. It’s so fragile.”

“Your heart is safe with me,” he promised. “All of you is safe with me.”

They began seeing each other almost daily. Whether it was for lunch or dinner or a drive up the freeway to the foothills where the last of the leaves were turning color, they spent quality time together. Beau cooked for her and Drew, but she wouldn’t stay late. Then there would be a knock at her door and he’d wrap his arms around her.

“Oh Beau, what about Drew?”

“It’s all right,” Beau said. “He’s not thinking about what we’re doing because he’s busy doing it himself.”

“That’s different,” she said. “We’re not eighteen.”

“Yeah, you know how you can tell? At eighteen they’re doing it all the time.”

“It kind of feels like we’re doing it all the time,” she said.

“I haven’t hit the saturation point yet,” he said. “Have you?”

An emotional hiccup escaped her. “You have to understand, I didn’t think I’d ever have this in my life.”

* * *

Lauren had a long talk with Cassie about Beau. “The very one you thought was so handsome,” she said. “He’s a lovely man. You’ll love him. He’s the single father of grown sons, we live in the same neighborhood and I’ve started seeing him. Given what we’ve been going through with our spouses, we’re taking it slow. But I wanted you to know we’re dating. I think this weekend we’re driving up to Napa to have a nice lunch and get some wine.”

“Oh Mama, that makes me so happy. But promise me you’ll be careful. I don’t want you to go through another bad relationship experience.”

Lauren laughed. “When did you become the mother?”

Two weeks before Thanksgiving, she spoke with Lacey. “I don’t know how you want to spend Thanksgiving. Cassie will come home for Christmas, but not Thanksgiving. It turns out I have a lot of invitations. My boss, Bea, invited me to join her family. Sylvie Emerson wanted to include me in her holiday meal with her family. Beth is having most of the Shaughnessy tribe and of course invited us.”

“And Daddy?” she asked.

“I have no idea how he’s spending the holiday,” she said.

“Aren’t the Emersons including him?” Lacey asked.

“No, Lacey. Sylvie is my friend, knows this divorce has been contentious and wouldn’t set me up like that. I think the best thing for me is to go to Beth’s house. Would you like to come?”

“I want to make sure Daddy’s not alone,” she said. “I’ll let you know.”

Poor Daddy, Lauren thought. It probably never occurred to him there might be consequences for kicking his wife in the face.

“Are you ever going to forgive him?” she asked.

“Lacey, he hasn’t asked for forgiveness.” She took a deep breath. “Just let me know if you want to join me.” She decided not to tell Lacey about Beau. The timing just didn’t feel right. Lacey was still so bitter about the divorce, still expecting Lauren to endure anything to put it all back together for her.