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- The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun
Page 184
Page 184
"Twilight, again," I whispered. "Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end."
"Some things don't have to end," she muttered through her teeth.
I sighed. I knew what she was thinking...what she wanted. But I couldn't give it to her. It was best to just ignore her train of thought.
"I brought you to the prom," I said slowly, "because I don't want you to miss anything. I don't want my presence to take anything away from you, if I can help it. I want you to be human. I want your life to continue as it would have if I'd died in nineteen-eighteen like I should have."
She trembled slightly before she shook her head angrily. "In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will? If you weren't a thousand times stronger than me, I would never have let you get away with this."
My lips curved into a half-smile at her kittenish anger. "It wasn't so bad, you said so yourself."
"That's because I was with you."
I gazed absently back up at the moon. Prom...it was the only formal occasion that I could think of this evening. Did she think we were leaving the city? I was curious now.
"Will you tell me something?" I asked, glancing down at her in amusement.
"Don't I always?"
"Just promise you'll tell me," I insisted, grinning.
"Fine." She was suspicious.
"You seemed honestly surprised when you figured out that I was taking you here," I began.
"I was," she interjected.
"Exactly," I agreed. "But you must have had some other theory... I'm curious -- what did you think I was dressing you up for?"
Her lips pursed, a slight pucker forming between her brows. "I don't want to tell you."
"You promised," I reminded her.
"I know."
"What's the problem?" This should be good. Her cheeks were red, the blush filling the air with her silky aroma.
"I think it will make you mad -- or sad."
Her words held some meaning, yet I couldn't grasp it. My eyebrows pulled together as I speculated the subtlety of her words. It was moments like these I wished I could read her mind.
"I still want to know. Please?"
She sighed. I waited expectantly for her answer.
"Well... I assumed it was some kind of... occasion. But I didn't think it would be some trite human thing... prom!" she sneered.
The meaning was slowly surfacing.
"Human?" I asked flatly.
Suddenly, her blush deepened to a scarlet red and she looked down, her fingers lightly tugging a piece of chiffon.
I waited in silence. She would tell me, I just had to be patient.
"Okay," her shoulders slumped as her breath rushed out. "So I was hoping that you might have changed your mind... that you were going to change me, after all."
The mingled fury and alarm was present on my face. We had this conversation already. I wasn't going to change her. I refused.
First, I was furious. Absolutely irate that she would even think I would take her soul. What did she think me capable of? Second, her blood, beyond delicious, would never be a strong enough siren call to make me...change her. What if I tried and I wasn't able to stop? What if I did change her and she forever hated me? Isabella Swan, forever stalking the night for all time, never aging, never changing... soulless. Many emotions filled my head and ran down my veins.
Her words replayed in my mind. I assumed it would be some kind of...occasion. Was she joking? She had to be, she couldn't be serious.
"You thought that would be a black tie occasion, did you?" I teased, touching the lapel of my James Bond tux in amusement.
She frowned. "I don't know how these things work. To me, at least, it seems more rational than prom does."
Yes. I wanted to say. Because what you wear will really matter when you're burning. I continued to grin at her, despite the image in my head. "It's not funny," her frown deepened.
"No, you're right, it's not," I agreed, my smile fading. "I'd rather treat it like a joke, though, than believe you're serious."
"But I am serious."
I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I let out a deep sigh. Could this really be what she wanted? "I know. And you're really that willing?"
She bit her delicate lip and nodded.
"So ready for this to be the end," I muttered to myself, "for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You're ready to give up everything."
"It's not the end, it's the beginning," she disagreed in a whisper of her warm breath.
"I'm not worth it," I said sadly.
"Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. "You obviously have the same blindness."
"I know what I am." I stated. A monster.
She sighed.
A course of action had just occurred to me.
"You're ready now, then?" I asked, my eyes probing hers.
"Um." she gulped. "Yes?" It was a question.
I smiled at my plan before moving my lips over her soft skin. I breathed softly at the corner of her jaw, letting the flavor burn down my throat.
"Right now?" I whispered, moving my lips down her neck. She trembled under my touch. I wanted to bring our lips together fiercely, but I resisted.
"Yes," she whispered.
Her breathing began to pick up, her heart pounding out a jagged rhythm. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed her hands balled up into tight fists. She showed all the signs of distress, yet she didn't move.
I chuckled darkly, and leaned away. I was disappointed by her actions. She didn't take any action for self preservation. I was her guardian vampire, though. My protection included keeping her human.
"You can't really believe that I would give in so easily," I said with a sour edge to my mocking tone. It was with great effort that I didn't yell at her for making it so easy.
"A girl can dream."
What! I screamed in my head. My eyebrows rose. "Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?"
"Not exactly," her lips turned down. "Mostly I dream about being with you forever." There was a sad ache in her voice.
Instantly I understood. Our dreams, per say, were the same. All I wanted was to be with her forever, but for her to wish for this soulless existence to be with me was absurd. It shouldn't be allowed. In that moment I was decided. Leaving wasn't an option. I needed her, and she needed me, too. All previous thoughts of leaving her to her human life, her future, disappeared, like someone popped a balloon.