"Much better," Alice said.

I heard a squeal of wheels being pushed down the lament floor. Be prepared, Carlisle warned.

Worry and anxiety filled my stomach like acid as I stood to open the door, realizing I had less resolution than ever.

25. Battle Worn

Plink. Plink. Plink.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The many noises of the machines were slowly making their way down the hallway towards room four-oh-eight. Emotions were flooding me, my body not knowing which ones to recognize.

Alice was eyeing me with apprehension, the future obvious in her mind.

You're not going to like this.

Alice stood up and paced back and forth, becoming impatient with the slowness of the nurse pushing Bella down the hall. I was still standing, my hand resolutely on the door, afraid to open it, afraid of what I'll see.

I dove into her mind for only a fraction of a second to see that Bella was hooked up to so many machines it almost made her look like she was some sort of mechanical apparatus or contrivance.

My many threads of thought were lost when I caught a scent that was unfamiliar to me, yet I knew it all the same. I finally yanked on the door, flinging it open to see Carlisle walking quietly behind the nurse, a despondent look upon his face. My eyes ignored him and everything else that was going on around the busy nurses' station. The only room I had in my brain right now, in my heart, was for the precious soul laying in the bed, beaten and battle worn.

Taking in a deep breath, I tried to find the scent that would reassure me that she was still Bella, still okay...still mine. But, the scent was off, wrong...possibly vulgar. For a moment I thought there was something wrong with me, that maybe my brain was fooling me...tricking me, a mere product of my own mental invention. Possibly a fantastic notion - like her blood finally was unappealing to me.

Shaking my head, I realized the only scent in the world I wished for right now was her scent, her very human, very Bella scent. My eyes followed a red tube from her arm up to a blood red bag.

Blood. Not any blood, but human blood. Sitting there - for the taking. But the aroma was off, offensive...extremely unpleasant.

Ignoring the now erroneous smell wafting off of her, I concentrated on her face, her bandages...her wrist. My teeth automatically clenched so hard that if steel were to meet them it would be ripped in half.

James.

Pushing my angry thoughts aside, I brought myself back to the angel, the beauty that was lying in this bed, unconscious and broken. At the sight of her my extremities felt like they were going numb.

She was broken. I broke her.

The nurse had finally made sure she was hooked up to all the appropriate machines, that everything was working correctly before checking her pulse and her temperature. Carlisle and Bella's doctor were standing outside the door talking. I was barely paying attention to the conversation, choosing to pick key words from their minds.

She'll be fine.

Probably another pint of blood.

Temporary medically induced coma until she heals more.

My head snapped up. Coma? ... Coma? What?

I reached for Bella's hand, bringing it to my lips, kissing her lightly, caressing her face. Automatically I began to try and probe her mind, even though I knew the effort was useless. Maybe I could reach into her brain, pull out her thoughts. Did she forgive me? Was she okay? How was the pain?

Silence.

Fear bubbled like acid in my stomach. The only thing that slightly soothed my frenzied nerves was her warmth...her pulse in the air, on my skin.

I was seeing double, watching Bella from two different views, mine and Alice's.

How revolting. She didn't care much for the blood being forced into Bella's veins either.

We both continued to watch Bella's check's lightly turn a tinge of pink as the blood swirled under her clear skin. Every second the pain at her broken body lashed at me. I tried to form some kind of enchantment, to make it so we could magically change places; that I could feel the pain, that it was me lying there unconscious.

To think how this could have happened, how she was almost reduced to ash...to a cold and fiery death. The picture of a fleshless Bella entered my mind and the feeling of disgust was present on my tongue. Each second I felt like I was becoming emotional deranged. I needed an outlet, some way to focus my thoughts.

Clunk. Clunk. Clunk.

I whipped around to see Alice flipping a tiny video in her hands. Resentment began bubbling to the surface. Without thinking I rounded on her.

"What happened? How did you let this happen? Bella..." my voice was overly accusatory.

My hostility began swelling in the air, slowly consuming me. Alice stepped back two steps before sitting down. She placed her head in her tiny hands and very quiet sobs escaped her lips. The afternoon's events were finally catching up to her.

"After you boarded the plane...I saw it. Bella, in the ballet studio. I saw it all..."

She looked up at me as her eyes sparkled with unshed tears, tears that would never come.

"I...I didn't realize it was because she planned to meet him."

"You left her alone with Jasper? Seriously...Jasper? Come on Alice!" I kept my voice low, not wanting to upset anyone outside this room.

"Jasper can handle himself," she cut across me. "Maybe she hadn't completely made up her mind, but when she did, she was already on her feet, running towards the exit. By the time this future presented itself to me I knew I'd be too late." She breathed in a quick breath, trying to calm her nerves. "She wrote a letter to her mom. It was still in my hand. On a hunch I opened it. That's when I very nearly ran into you. Edward... I'm...I'm so sorry."

"Not as sorry as I am," I barely muttered.

My anger had left as quickly as it had come on.

Sorry...

"It's not your fault, it's mine." I whispered.

I turned to bring myself back to Bella. My eyes followed every bruise, every bump and every blackened spot. Each second little quiet explosions of pain were erupting through my body. Now, more than ever, I was vividly aware of her fragile, breakable body.

How is this your fault? Alice challenged.

"If it wasn't for me, she would never be in this hospital. She would be safely in Forks, probably having a nice dinner with her father. Instead...she's here, broken...comatose."

Her arm wrapped around my shoulder. "No, this is his fault." She waved the tape in front of me. "Do you want to see what Bella was talking about?"