Shockingly enough, Frosty—who had lost more than most—was the exception to my theory. He’d fallen for Kat despite her kidney disease. But I wasn’t going to think about her illness and the pain she was—and would be—forced to endure. I’d break down and be forced to compartmentalize, shoving the heartbreak into a deep, dark corner of my mind, to be dealt with later.

My compartments were almost full.

I’d told myself I’d stop doing it, stop locking away the hard emotional crap and finally deal with my feelings, but I’d fallen back into the habit...and honestly, I wasn’t in any hurry to change.

“Where are we going?” Mackenzie settled behind the wheel of her truck. “It’s too early for patrol.”

Oh, yeah. We had to patrol for zombies this evening. We’d be with Gavin the man-whore—another one of my pet projects, despite his warped sense of humor—and the mostly silent Bronx. Time was limited.

“We’re going to Tatty’s,” I said and explained why.

“I’d advise you to play a little hard to get, but I swear, it doesn’t matter what you do. Cole thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever. It makes me want to stab you both in the eye.”

A few weeks ago, she would have spat those words at me like weapons. Because the moment Cole had displayed an interest in me—which had been at moment one, thank you very much—she’d hated me.

My sparkling personality had eventually won her over.

Fine. Personality had nothing to do with it. We were soldiers in a war, and we were fighting for the same side. A bond had formed.

“If you stab us both in the eye, we will wear matching patches and pretend to be pirates,” I said. “You’ll wish you’d stabbed yourself instead.”

She shuddered. “You still have an evil side, I see.”

“Yes, and your tears are the food she craves.”

Mackenzie almost cracked a smile.

I scanned the parking lot when we reached our destination, fighting disappointment when I couldn’t locate Cole’s Jeep.

Maybe he’d walked? You know, for exercise. As if he didn’t get enough at his gym, running the treadmill, lifting weights and boxing in the ring. But he wasn’t inside, and my disappointment intensified.

I could call or text him, I supposed, but this wasn’t just girls’ day out. It was boys’ day out, too. He could still be with Gavin, Bronx and new-to-the-team Justin. Well, new again. Long story.

“Do you have a few hours to spare?” I asked Mackenzie.

“Is my other choice heading back to Choco Loco?”

“Yes.”

“Then I do.”

I headed to the back of the shop with Artist Guy, the man who’d done my other tattoos. There were two, one on each wrist; the reason he already had my permission slip on file. The first one he’d given me was the white rabbit to represent my sister, Emma. She might be dead, but she still came to visit me. The second, a pair of swords in the shape of a cross to represent my parents.

“Tell me what you want,” he said as I settled into the seat.

I’d thought about this for quite some time. Everything we felt always found a way to manifest outwardly. Smiles, frowns. Laugh lines. Scowl lines. This was my way of showing my love for the family and friends I’d lost.

“To start, I want a phoenix on the back of my neck.” This would represent Cole. I hadn’t lost him—and wouldn’t!—but he still deserved a place of honor. With his help, I’d risen from the ashes of my past and forged a new future. “Then I want a pair of boxing gloves above the daggers.” They would represent Pops, my grandfather, who’d been killed by zombie toxin. As a teenager, he’d trained in the ring, and throughout the rest of his life, he’d taken hard knocks with grace and bravery.

Artist Guy got to work, and though I’d done this before and had known what to expect, it still hurt. Bad. By the time he finished, my neck and arm throbbed incessantly.

“Well? What do you think?” he asked.

I studied the boxing gloves and smiled. They looked like they were made of tattered brown leather, with a bowed string holding them together. “Perfection.”

“As if I could do anything less.”

Men and their egos.

I approached the full-length mirror hanging on the wall. Hand trembling, I lifted my hair and turned to the side while glancing over my shoulder. My breath hitched. The bird’s head was light green and came up to my hairline. The wings were a rainbow of colors, each crackling with golden flames, wrapping around both sides of my neck, stretching toward my ears. The belly was a mix of red and gold and centered on the ridges of my spine, while the tail was shaped and shaded like peacock feathers, stopping between my shoulder blades.

“It’s...it’s...” I gasped. “I don’t even have words.”

“I know,” he replied. “I’m amazing. It’s the best work you’ve ever seen. Blah, blah.”

Cole was going to flip out.

“You remember how to prevent infection?” he asked.

“Yes.” I paid him and joined Mackenzie in the lobby. Her reaction to the ink was similar to mine. Total shock and awe.

“As much as I’d love to stay and stare, we’d better go.” She gestured to the outside world. “Darkness is rolling in.”

I glanced out the window, and sure enough, the sunlight was muted. Well, crap. Night came earlier and earlier. We hardly had time for rest and relaxation anymore.