She was worn out, falling asleep minutes after I had gotten rid of the condom and brought a warm, wet cloth to her, washing away the evidence that there had been no one else before. Not that I needed to see that to know, but gods, there was a knot in the base of my throat that wasn’t easing off. I wanted to worship her all over again.

Sex had never been like this. Nothing in my life had ever been like this. Everything from the moment I’d met Josie had been a new experience for me. She was truly a miracle and even the simple act of lying beside her soothed me.

I was awake, but my body was at ease. My mind was a different story.

I can do this.

I’d been so close to telling her what I’d done, and the guilt from keeping that secret from her churned my stomach, but I . . . I could rectify that.

I can do this.

Gods, there was no other way for me. I had to control myself. I had to make sure I never allowed myself to get to the point where I took from her what was never mine to take. I could never allow myself to feed off her again.

Josie loved me.

Holy shit.

I dropped my head, pressing a kiss to her bare shoulder. Josie loved me. Not a single part of me doubted that. I didn’t deserve that gift, but I could . . . I could be better for her. I could be worthy of her love.

That was what I had to do.

I would be worthy of her love.

Because she was more than worthy of that. She deserved more than that, and I would give that to her. There would be no room for anything else, because after this—after having her, after knowing that she was mine—there was no way I could stay away from her.

So I would do right by her.

Even if it killed me.

Kissing her neck, I smiled when she murmured something that sounded distinctively like “cupcakes” under her breath. I was surprised it wasn’t “bacon” since I was sure she dreamt of that stuff. I kissed her cheek and then settled my head on the pillow.

Josie wiggled again, and I swallowed a groan. I wanted her again, but this, the quiet moments between us, with both of us lying together were fucking bliss. There were no other words for it.

Never would be. This was a piece of beautiful paradise, something I would treasure when it came time to pay my dues.

But a cold voice whispered, sending unease down my spine. Will it last?

CHAPTER 19

In the middle of the night, I woke up, and this time I wasn’t selfless. I was hard and nestled against the curve of her ass. I had no idea what time it was or what was going on outside these walls, and I really didn’t care.

Everything was focused on the soft body in my arms.

I was going to wake up Josie in the best possible way.

I coasted my hand over her waist and then her hip, my fingers dipping between her thighs. I found that spot, dragging my thumb over the tiny piece of flesh. Her thighs parted and her moan was sleepy. I shifted my hand, sliding my finger inside.

Grinning in the dark, I forged a path of kisses down her neck as I rocked my hips forward. She was starting to move against my hand in a slow restless circle. Her breaths picked up and I felt the moment she came fully awake. Her head kicked back against my chest and her hand fluttered to where mine played between those pretty thighs.

“Seth,” she moaned, her voice husky. “That . . . that feels amazing.”

“It’s going to feel even better, sweetheart.”

Her chest rose sharply as I curled my other hand around her breast, finding the hardened nipple. She was sensitive there, and as I worked the little nub between my thumb and finger, her hips moved wildly.

I rolled away long enough to reach inside the nightstand and grab another foil packet. I broke records getting that condom on. Josie started to turn, but I stopped her. Curling my body behind hers, I slid my hand down her side to her thigh. I lifted her leg, draping it over mine.

“I . . . I don’t know what to do,” she admitted.

“Shh. You just being right here is doing everything.” I kissed the space below the nape of her neck. My heart pounded wicked fast. “I’ll take care of the rest.”

Lining our hips up, I entered her from behind, careful to take it slow, because I wasn’t sure if she was sore or not, and she’d stiffened at first, relaxing after I held still. I gave her time to adjust and then worked my way in, inch by inch, until I was seated.

“Oh my gods,” she gasped. “You feel . . . this feels different.”

I brought my hand back to that bundle of nerves just above where we were connected. “Better?”

“Yes.” A soft, feminine sound left her as I withdrew slowly, to where only the tip was left in, and then I slid back in. “Deeper,” she murmured. “This is so much deeper.”

“Wait until I get you on your knees.” I started rocking faster, moving my thumb and finger over her center in tune to my thrusts.

“Oh gods.”

“You’re going to love that.” I groaned as she thrust that ass back against me. “Fuck. I think you love this.”

“I do,” she moaned, grasping my arm.

Her soft moans and my harsher grunts soon filled the dark room, and the sounds of our bodies coming together heightened the tension building inside me.

A gnawing ache stirred in my gut and spread to my chest. A very different kind of hunger took root. It would be so easy to just have a taste—a small, insignificant taste. I’d just have to move my other hand from her breast and I could—

No.

Shutting that part of me down, I focused on how she fit me like a glove, how she rolled her hips back against my thrusts with abandonment. I focused on how her movements were slightly awkward and untrained, and how that was so much fucking hotter than anything. I focused on her love and her trust until that ache receded and the only thing I felt was her and not what was in her.