Sex for girls is a defining moment; sex for guys is sex.

 She shook her head as if to clear the memories. After Jock had said no, he wasn’t in love with her, after she had groveled and begged Emma to forgive her, after finding herself completely alone except for her mom, there was just no going back. She was completely damaged, felt like a fool, was not about to be hurt like that again.

 No one could ever know how much it tore a woman apart, to trust your heart and be completely wrong. For Riley, nothing was quite as hard as being stupid.

 The one thing she hadn’t counted on all these years of ignoring Jock, just putting up with his attempts to be a family man, was that all that time he was talking to Maddie. Apparently honestly. From the heart. Expressing his own regrets. Who knew Jock was even capable of that! Maddie seemed to think he still wanted them to be a family.

 As usual, Jock’s timing couldn’t be worse. Riley had only just met someone she actually liked. A smart guy with a career.

 Jeanette had left the office early to do a little last-minute Christmas shopping and Riley turned back to her computer. She’d write Jock a letter. She’d never send it, of course, but she could get her thoughts and questions all lined up in her head by writing a letter. This was something she did with regularity—she often wrote letters to demanding and obnoxious clients, then hit delete.

 Dear Jock,

 I’ve been talking to Maddie and it comes to me that my perception of our history is very different from yours and I need to know—did I miss something? Was I sleepwalking through that whole time, not catching the innuendo? I’m sure I was conscious when you panicked because I said I loved you. I believe I was paying attention to detail when you said, “No—wait a minute—we can’t call that love! That was consensual sex, not love.” And I was pretty pregnant when you said, All right then, let’s get married. I apologize if that didn’t sweep me off my feet, but there you have it. I wasn’t convinced it would be a marriage worth having. When you married and divorced so quickly... Ah, well, you must understand why I wasn’t convinced of your good judgment. But to tell Maddie this silly thing, that you always loved me, that you wanted to get married but I was too angry, that you probably wouldn’t be worth a damn to another woman, that you’d resigned yourself that this was all you were going to get... Now, how does all that make me look? You lamebrain, you dipshit, you mental midget, you—

 That was typical of her write-but-don’t-send cathartics. She was reduced to name-calling. Sometimes that helped, too. Jock, you stupid idiot, I loved you! You cast me off. I’d betrayed my best friend for you and you left me high and dry. The next years were so unbearably hard...

 “Riley?”

 “Eeek,” she squeaked and jumped about a mile. She grabbed her chest. She wasn’t talking out loud, was she? “Logan! Dear God—”

 He chuckled. “Whatever you’re writing, you were really in the zone there, I guess. Your door was open.”

 She cleared the screen and actually blushed. “I was... I mean... A proposal... An itemized...”

 “I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said.

 “Come in, come in. What are you doing here?”

 He walked into the room and sat in one of the chairs facing her desk. “I was in the area and hadn’t seen you in a few days...”

 “We talked,” she said, feeling a little defensive.

 “Not quite as much fun. Listen, I have a crazy week coming up and you probably do, too. Can I take you to dinner tonight? Might be the only chance we get for a while.”

 “Oh, gee, that would be...” She folded her hands on top of her desk. “We didn’t really talk about this, about Christmas. I’d love to have you come over to my mom’s either Christmas Eve or Day, but I figured you have to see your family. And I don’t know if you want to meet everyone in my family for the first time on a holiday.”

 He just grinned at her.

 “But if you’d like to—”

 “It’s okay, Riley. My debut with Maddie didn’t go all that well.”

 “I’m sorry, that was so unexpected. I guess that’s what I get for never dating. But I don’t think it would be that awkward at my mom’s house.”

 “I think I’ll just take care of my own family for the holidays. I can spell my partner so she can have time with her husband and kids. And God knows, I want to be available for my ex-wife—I’m sure she’ll be at least stopping by. And my father.” He rolled his eyes. “But dinner tonight would be excellent. Or tomorrow night. How about it?”

 “That sounds like a great idea. Where would you like to go?”

 “How about Riviera Restorante?”

 “I love that place!” She glanced down at herself. She was wearing pants and a blazer today. “Am I dressed all right? So I don’t have to go home?”

 “You look perfect.” He looked around. “I wondered about the office. This is really nice, Riley. Very—”

 The outside office door opened and a moment later there was a light tapping on Riley’s door. Emma peeked in the door.

 “Oh. Sorry. When you’re finished...” she said, beginning to pull out.

 “Come in, Emma. This is a friend of mine, Logan Danner. We were just making plans for dinner. Logan, can you give me five minutes with Emma?”

 “Of course,” he said, standing.

 “Oh,” Emma said. “It’s you! From the hospital.”

 He frowned slightly. “The hospital?”

 “I was waiting for a ride. I was a little upset. You gave me your flowers,” she said.