Sensing I would get nowhere with him right now, I nodded, then curled my hands around his wrists as he tucked my head back under his chin. This wouldn’t be the last time we talked about this, I would make sure of that. We sat there in silence for several minutes as I thought about everything from the time he was held prisoner to the decisions I had to make. My natural inclination was to turn down any claim to the Crown immediately. It was the only sensible reaction. I had no idea how to be a Queen of anything, not even a pile of ashes. And while Casteel might not have been raised from birth to take the throne, he had been raised a Prince. I’d seen him with his people and already knew he would make a wonderful King. But me? I was raised as the Maiden, and very little of that upbringing would be of any use. I had no desire to govern people, determine what they could and couldn’t do, and assume that kind of responsibility. Where was the freedom in that? The freedom to live my life as I saw fit? I had no hunger for power, no great ambition…

But I said nothing as I sat there, enjoying the simple feel of Casteel’s hand stroking my hair. I would’ve enjoyed his touch even more if I hadn’t realized there was an entirely different way to look at this. I had no idea how to rule, but I could learn. I would have Casteel at my side, and who would be a better teacher? Governing people did not necessarily equate to controlling them. It could mean protecting them, just as I knew Casteel would—like I knew his parents had done to the best of their ability. How they may or may not feel about me didn’t change the fact that they cared for their people. That they were nothing like the Royals of Solis. That kind of responsibility was frightening, but it could also be an honor. I had no thirst for power, but maybe that was the key to being a good leader? I wasn’t sure. But I knew I had great ambitions. I wanted to free the people of Solis from the tyranny of the Ascended, and what could be more ambitious than that? But how could I achieve that when I refused to bear the burden of a Crown? Who knew what kind of influence Casteel and I would be able to wield regarding Solis if we were forced to abandon Atlantia, leaving it to be ruled by someone who could have very different intentions when it came to Solis and the Ascended? Someone who may never see Ian as anything but a vampry. And maybe that was all that Ian was now. Possibly even Tawny. I didn’t know, but what if my brother was different? What if other Ascended could change like Casteel had said a few had? What would happen if someone took the throne and declared war against them? I didn’t know, but freedom was the choice. It was in the way I chose to live my life. And what kind of freedom would there be if I was the reason Casteel had to leave his people? His family?

That kind of knowledge carried with it a different type of cage, didn’t it? Just like fear was another prison, and I was…

“I’m afraid,” I admitted quietly as I stared at the sun-drenched ivy beyond the open terrace door. “I’m afraid of saying yes.”

Casteel’s hand stilled on my back. “Why?”

“I don’t know how to be a Queen. I know I can learn, but do the people of Atlantia have the patience for that? The luxury of waiting for me to gain the same kind of experience as you? And we don’t even know what I am. Has Atlantia ever had a Queen that was possibly neither mortal nor Atlantian nor deity? You don’t have to answer that. I already know it’s a no. And what if I’m a terrible Queen?” I asked. “What if I fail at that?”

“First and foremost, you won’t be a terrible Queen, Poppy.”

“You have to say that,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Because you’re my husband, and because you’re afraid I’ll stab you if you say otherwise.”

“Fear is not remotely what I feel when I think you might stab me.”

My nose scrunched as I shook my head. “That is twisted.”

“Perhaps,” he noted. “But back to what you said. How do I know you wouldn’t make a terrible Queen? It’s the choices you’ve made time and time again. Like when you sought to help those who were cursed by the Craven, risking the gods know what kind of punishment to ease their passing. That is just one example of your compassion, and that is something any ruler needs. When you went up on the Rise during the Craven attack? When you fought at Spessa’s End, willing to take the same risks as those who’d taken an oath to protect the people? Those are only two examples that prove you have the courage and the willingness to do what you would ask of your people. That is something a King and a Queen should be willing to do. You have more experience than you realize. You proved that in the hunting cabin when you spoke of power and influence. You paid attention when you wore the veil. More than any of the Royals ever noticed.”