Helen was stunned. “Wait. How does Rob feel about that? You managing with him offstage?”

“To be honest, that’s going to take some adjusting, but I’ve tried to reassure him that I’d never keep him out of our lives. He can be as involved as he likes. He can even be with me in delivery. He went to the first doctor’s appointment with me. He is the baby’s father and he has rights.”

“How do you believe you’re going to pull this off?”

“I’m not saying I won’t need help. But between the two of us with Rob’s help, we’ll—”

“Leigh! No!”

“But you’ll want to be with me and the baby,” Leigh said.

“Of course,” Helen said. “I’ll be right there saying, Rah rah, push, push. Then while you’re taking care of your baby, I’ll be going out for a glass of wine to celebrate.”

“But you’ll be with me,” she said. “We’ll do this together, like we always have.”

“No! Leigh, I’m very anxious to meet your baby, to hold the baby, but I’m not taking on another infant and raising her. It’s out of the question. I’m sixty-two.”

“But you’re my only family,” she said. “And you’re healthy and strong and young.”

“And I have a career! A demanding career. Listen, raising you was the best part of my life and I don’t regret or resent a day of it, but it was hard. It was so hard at times. I worked two jobs, had no time to myself, was too busy for a book club not to mention a date. And money was so tight! I scrimped and saved and made every dollar last forever. You can’t imagine how I had to juggle, relying on neighbors for help, searching for babysitters, taking you to school early and keeping you there late. There were times I was so exhausted that I—”

She took a breath. “And then there was college, which you were going to skip so you could work in the Holliday home-goods store with Johnny and his family. I convinced you to go for your own good so if you ever had to support a family, you could. College was not free. Med school was not free. We were fortunate to get scholarships and grants and loans to help, but there were many bills. Thank God for my books—the books allowed me to get a grip on all that. And do you know when the books were written? Late at night and on weekends, during my lunch hour and very early in the morning while you slept. It’s only been the last five or six years I’ve had enough money to pay off some bills and travel. Did you not notice, Leigh? That I worked night and day until you were almost thirty?”

They were silent and staring at each other for a long time. Leigh, eyes a little glassy, spoke first. “I hope you know how much I appreciate all you did for me.”

“Oh, I do,” Helen said. “But if you think I’m going to work two jobs for the next thirty years so you can take your sweet time deciding what you’re going to do...”

“Helen, you told me not to do anything if I wasn’t sure...”

“Then you’d better either make a decision or ask around about babysitters.”

“Auntie! I thought you wanted to be a part of this, involved with the new baby!”

“Absolutely,” she said. “A part of it. Not the person who puts her life and work on hold to raise it. I’m sorry, Leigh. You’re a grown woman and the decision on how to proceed with this pregnancy is entirely yours. I look forward to many quality hours with my new little peanut. When I’m not working or traveling.”

“Oh my God, I thought I could count on you, Aunt Helen. I’d be there for you,” she said.

“Excellent, you’re up,” Helen said. “It’s time for you to be there for me. I imagine I’ll work till my brain dries up but I wouldn’t mind enjoying life a little. I’ll be more than happy to do a little babysitting. A few hours here and there. But let’s not be ridiculous. If you’re mature enough to have and take care of a baby, you’re old enough to make a responsible plan. It can be difficult. And very lonely. I think I’d better say good-night before I say something I regret.”

“Helen, please don’t be angry with me,” she said. “I didn’t plan to take advantage of you.”

“Oh, I think you did, Leigh. And I have no one to blame but myself.”

Let love steal in disguised as friendship.

—Ovid

16

HELEN TRIED READING, but it didn’t distract her or take her mind off her harsh words with Leigh. She finally got up to fix another cup of tea, even though that would certainly keep her up all night. When she did so she noticed that Leigh’s light was on. She wasn’t having much success getting to sleep, either. She had a moment of guilt. The girl was pregnant—she didn’t want to upset her, cause a problem with her pregnancy.

Then she reminded herself that Leigh was a successful physician who made a good living and had no big debts. One of the reasons for that was she’d lived her entire life in Helen’s house, paid for by Helen. Helen helped her pay for college, and what student loans Leigh had acquired Helen helped pay off. Oh, there was other help—the contract signing bonus from the hospital for her ER commitment. But of course Leigh had worked very hard to make all that happen.

Leigh had probably learned to work hard from watching Helen, hardly noticing where the lesson came from. She’d had her struggles in med school, residency and practice, fighting that failure of confidence that comes to everyone who takes on a big task, but she had been so resilient. So strong. Helen was happy to prop her up and comfort her when she needed it. In fact, it made her feel good to be able to do that for Leigh.

Where was her resilience now? This issue was between Leigh and her baby’s father. Oh, if Leigh found some reason that life with Rob would be terrible, of course she’d be better off staying independent of him. But Helen was no fool. She couldn’t count the number of times in the past few months that Leigh had spent her lunch hour or evening with Rob and he left a glow on her cheeks that was unmistakable.

But Leigh’s expectations had crossed the line. Was she spoiled? Helen didn’t think so. That Johnny Holliday might’ve left a scar but Rob Shandon was such a cut above she was frankly surprised Leigh hadn’t run off and married him the instant she found out she was pregnant.

She had trouble believing that Leigh actually thought Helen would become her nanny!

Being a writer, working at home and often in her pajamas, Helen was accustomed to people thinking her work wasn’t real work. No matter how impressed they might be when Helen made the bestseller list or won an award, her casual nonwriting acquaintances seemed to think she could create a complex story in her spare time. But Leigh had never been that person. She’d been trained to understand how much discipline was required, how dedicated Helen had to be. And how hard the work could be. She’d seen Helen during those hair-pulling deadlines or those crazy revisions when she had to rip the book apart from page one and didn’t have a bloody clue how to fix the sow’s ear of a mess she was supposed to turn into a silk purse.

But here was her darling Leigh, pregnant with the child of a man she loved, and she was afraid to embrace him. Did she learn that from me, as well? Helen asked herself. Because Helen hadn’t found it easy to fall in love. Of course she was a little short on time, given all her jobs, commitments and bills to pay.

But then she met Sully. He was such a lovely surprise. An adorable, funny and wise man who lived simply and was honest to the bone. They had nothing in common yet had found an odd and special way to appreciate each other. Sully didn’t consider himself smart but he was. He was intuitive and wise. His humor was smart and dry and she lived for his jabs, like him telling her he liked that crazy hair she woke up with. She was a woman of a certain age. She’d rather have a compliment like that than a dozen roses. It meant he truly saw her as she was, didn’t have some unrealistic expectation of her.

How many years would they have together? Even if it was only a year, she was ready to sign on. She felt nurtured when she was with him and she could nurture in return. Some of her friends might think they were an odd pair. But she loved him. He was very easy to love.

But she had a niece—her child, really—in a fix. Helen didn’t know how to help her resolve her issues. Leigh needed a long-range view of what family life was supposed to be, a realistic view of what commitment should be. Helen was no expert but she thought a steady, dependable man, a good man with whom you had balance and tenderness, was a solid bet. And there was obviously chemistry! Those two could heat up a room when they were together. It had taken them about a week to make a baby. It gave her the shivers.

Was Leigh paying attention? He’d raised a couple of sons so fatherhood was no mystery to him. He was well-loved throughout town and beyond.

Helen lamented that she might not be the wisest or most experienced parent but she could think of only one approach. If it didn’t work, she’d likely be spending her twilight years changing diapers, supervising potty training and driving carpools.

She began folding her clothes. The sun was not yet up. She got one of her suitcases and opened it on the bed. It didn’t take long before Leigh was standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Oh, I hope I didn’t wake you. I’m packing up a few things.”

“Why?”

“Well, I think I should get out of your hair for a while. This business of how to take care of the baby isn’t between you and me. It’s between you and Rob. Do you find him trustworthy?”

“So far,” Leigh said. “I’m sure he’s a good man. It’s just that I thought Johnny was a good man...”

“You can let yourself off the hook for that, Leigh. He was the only boy you’d ever loved and you were so young. You idealized him. I think he showed his true colors soon after he left. I know you were devastated, but I always worried you would be. Let’s forget about him for the moment. I don’t know everything about your relationship with Rob but I know it’s a passionate one. I approve, by the way. A man and woman who are raising a family deserve passion. Love like that brings you together when times are hard and it’s inevitable there will be some hard times. Everyone has them. It appears he’s a very good father. Be sure you don’t ignore that fact. It’s critical.”