Sean’s eyes lock with mine for a moment, then he looks down and shakes his head. He steps through the threshold, and pushes the beautiful carved door closed without a word.

“Sean?” I’m worried about him. I’ve never seen him like this before. It’s my Sean, but he’s broken. Sometimes there are no words. I cross the room and throw my arms around his neck and hold him tight. To my surprise, he doesn’t pull back, but he buries his face in my neck. I hold onto him for a while, the way I did at the club, and wonder what ghosts haunt this place. What was this cabin supposed to be?

CHAPTER 16

When Sean snaps out of it, he looks like his old self. His defenses are up and that stern expression is back. Crap. I want to coax him back out, but Sean has other plans. He explains, “I need time to think and no one knows about this place. If anyone shows up here, we’ll know who’s trying to hurt you.”

“Where are we?”

“Upstate, in the Catskills.” New York is broken into several parts, the three main sections are Long Island, New York City, and then that massive amount of land north of Manhattan that’s called ‘Upstate.’ His reference to the Catskills is the only thing that gives me any idea of where I am. If he didn’t say that, we could be anywhere between the City and Canada.

I nod, and memories from last night start to flash behind my eyes. Sean grabs my wrist and commands, “No, Avery. Stop thinking. I want you to lay on that bed and let every thought rush out of your head. I only want you to feel what I’m doing to you. I want to be the one that evokes your fear or rapture. For the next few hours, I own you.”

The corners of my lips lift as I step up to him. “You’ll own me for much longer than that.” I wink at him and whatever restraint he had is gone. Sean scoops me up and carries me over to the bed. He looks down at me and I swear that there’s no blue left in his gaze. Those eyes are so dark that they’re nearly solid black. As his eyes rove over me, I feel nak*d even though I’m clothed. My heart beats faster, wondering what he’s going to do.

“Where’s your bracelet?” he asks suddenly, looking at my bare wrist.

“In Gabe’s limo. I shoved it between the seats.” A smile crosses my lips as I think about it. “Black is going to assume I’m stalking her.”

Sean grins at me before leaning down and kissing my forehead. “Good girl. That should give us a few days if the issue originates with her. She’ll think Gabe is protecting you.”

“Uh, I think he is.”

“No!” Sean’s voice is fierce. His entire body tenses to the point he trembles as he yells. “No one is protecting you, except me. I don’t want you to trust anyone until this is over—not Mel, not Gabe, not even my brothers—no one. Do you understand me?”

Touching the side of his face, I nod. “I understand.” My words carry more meaning, and I wonder if he knows how much I understand. He lost everything before and failed to stop it. The death of Amanda fractured his life in a way that he was unable to repair. If Sean doesn’t stop this lunatic from messing with me, it’ll destroy him. The final pieces that hold him together will come unhinged and the monster lurking within him will be the cause of his demise.

Sean’s body shakes with tension that borders on rage. I know what he needs and I want to give it to him. I press my lips together and say the words he has to hear. “Take me, any way you want. Use me, Sean.”

Breathing hard, he looks down, watching me. The fear slips off his face and the part of him that frightens me emerges. There’s no rational thought, no logic in those eyes. It fades to something carnal and out of control. Sean grabs my dress at the neckline and tears it in two. The sudden movement, the sound of the fabric tearing, startles me. Before I can blink, he’s on top of me, ripping off my clothes and tossing them aside until I’m nak*d. My heart is pounding so hard that I’m sure that he can hear it. I don’t have the nerve to look him in the eyes anymore, even though I want to. I focus on his chest, on the places I want to touch, but I don’t dare. Not now, not when he’s like this.

Sean straddles me, pinning me to the bed and rips off his belt. Quickly, he flips me over so I’m facedown and yanks my hands above my head. Within seconds my wrists are bound together and tied to the headboard. He leaves my feet untethered and I wonder if it’s because he wants to or because he’s changing. Sean is different now, isn’t he? This isn’t like the first time he did this to me. Besides, I volunteered. I knew what I was giving permission for this time. Maybe I’m the one who’s changed.

I feel his breath in my ear before I hear his voice. “Stop thinking.” I try to shove all the thoughts from my mind, but I kind of suck at it. Sean’s hand comes down hard on my bare ass. The sting makes me yelp. “Say, ‘yes, sir.’”

My lips curl into a defiant, smug, expression. “Yes, Sean.”

His hand comes down again, stinging the other cheek. I gasp, and try to look back at him, but I can’t see him very well. He’s directly behind me and I can only make out his location. “Wrong words will get you punished, Miss Smith. I want you to say, ‘yes, sir.’”

An insane urge to defy him rouses inside of me as a smile creeps across my face. I mean, what’s he going to do? Hit me again? I kind of like that a little bit. It makes my girlie parts tingle. I’d be good with another slap. So I chide, “Yes, Mr. Jones.”

Sean lets out a little noise, like he can’t believe I defied him again, but his shock is short lived. He takes a pillow and shoves it under my hips, before parting my legs. I have no idea what he’s going to do, but I like it. Thrill rushes through my veins, making me tug at my restraints. I want to tease him and do everything I shouldn’t. Maybe I’m as messed up as he is.

He holds my legs open wide and with that deep voice of his, gives me another chance. “Stop thinking.”

I’m insane. “No.” The word rings out like someone slapped a gong.

My ass is in the air, thanks to the pillow. I expect his hand to come down on my round cheeks again, but it doesn’t. Instead his open palm slaps me between my thighs, stinging my most sensitive parts. The jolt startles me and I try to crawl away, but Sean holds my h*ps still. “Say it.”

I bite my lips and feel his hand come down again. This time it brings tears to my eyes, but there’s something else, too. I don’t know how to describe it. My insides feel like they’re on fire and I want to be sated. Am I as messed up as he is? He’s spanking my p**sy and I like it. What the hell does that mean? Before another thought can cross my mind, his hand lands between my legs again and I yelp.

Without warning, Sean slips a finger up into me and I gasp. He’s quiet for a moment and then removes his hand and leans over my back, pressing his body to me. His face appears next to mine, lightly pushing my cheek into the pillows. “So, it appears that you have a rather deviant desire, since getting spanked makes you so wet.”

“It does not. I—” before I can finish my lie, Sean shoves the finger that was inside me into my mouth.

“Suck.” My tongue tastes the sweetness and recognizes my scent. I do as he says, and suck his finger until it’s gone and I only taste Sean’s skin. “Good girl. And remember, behavior that pleases me will be rewarded.”

I like the sound of that. “Anything I want?”

“Yes, if you behave yourself. Up until now, I have to say, you’ve been rather naughty. I’d slap you again, but I think you actually like it, so onto other things.”

I nearly whine, okay, beg, for him to do more, but think better of it. Crazy Sean sounds more composed than I thought he’d be, which is interesting. “Back to you being good—say, ‘yes, sir.’”

I make a face into the pillow and mutter. “Yes, sir.” Being bad is more fun, at least I think it is until I feel Sean’s nak*d body pressed to my back and he’s kissing me. Damn, he stripped fast. His hard length pushes against my butt cheeks as his lips find the spot on my shoulder that makes me melt. He’s close to finding my slut button—the spot that makes me totally wanton—so I wiggle, trying to get him away from it, because I want to keep my mind and defy him just a little bit longer, and as soon as he finds that spot, I’m toast. I’ll be begging him for anything and everything. Damn him. I think he mapped my body when I wasn’t paying attention.

Sean holds me in place, inching his lips closer and closer to the spot on my back, while one of his hands dips between my thighs. He forces them open and lifts his head for a moment. “Do whatever feels good, baby. I won’t force you. Not this time.”

What? My mind snaps to full alert right as Sean dips his head and lands his sinful mouth on the perfect spot on my shoulder. I gasp and wiggle, trying to get him to stop for half a second before I go still. His lips are pressed to my skin, while his tongue strokes against me. My body writhes without my consent as the place between my legs goes from damp to wet. My mind fades and I feel—no, I want. Sean’s fingers press between my thighs and up inside of me, making me moan. My h*ps buck, not satisfied with fingers as he kisses my back. I want him, and I start saying things that would normally make me blush.

Sean pulls his fingers out and lifts them to my mouth. “Lick them.” I do as he says, closing my eyes, and enjoying the way my body responds to his voice, to his commands. His lips work the spot on my back and I suck on his fingers, imagining that it’s his hard length dripping with come.

He lifts his head. “Good girl.” When he pulls his fingers away, I pout, but the emotion is short lived.

Sean takes hold of my h*ps and pushes into my slick core, slow and hard. I moan and beg for things I should never say. He sounds happy, teasing me, pushing in slowly and then pulling out to his tip, before slamming into me again, deeper. I beg for him to pound into me, spank me, and anything else.

Sean sounds content, almost happy, when he whispers in my ear. “Tell me when to stop.”

Before I can beg him to f**k me more, he’s gone. His body leaves mine and his lips are suddenly between my legs. His hot breath makes my thighs tense, but Sean pushes them apart and licks my slick flesh with his tongue. Stroke after stroke, he stays there, pressing his fingers into me, licking and sucking. I have no idea what he’s doing, but I’m screaming out his name begging him to take me. I need him, my entire body is strung tight, craving the release. Sean brings me to the edge and I think he’s going to tip me over into ecstasy, but he pulls away two seconds too soon. I scream and thrash when he disappears. His warmth is gone and I’m begging him to come back.

“Sean, please…” my voice is so breathy, and so completely shameless. I’d beg him for anything, to make me come any way possible. I need him deep inside me. I beg him again, and he’s back, lying next to me.

“Tell me what you want, baby.”

“Make me come, please Sean. I want you inside me. Please.”

Before anything else is said, I feel something cold slip between my legs. Sean pushes a toy deep inside and it starts to vibrate. I feel so let down that it’s not him that I nearly cry. I want Sean. That’s when things go a different direction. He lowers his head to between my thighs and returns to the spot he’d been licking and pressing his fingers to before. I tense when I realize where he is and what he’s doing. His tongue licks behind the vibrator at the delicate skin, and then over—oh God. I shouldn’t like that, but it’s making me feel positively high. My h*ps slow as apprehension chokes me.