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Page 39
Page 39
“Do we need to? It was just a kiss under a mistletoe.”
Well, at least we were on the same page about what we needed to discuss.
I swallowed hard against his dismissive words. “I thought it was more than that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
I clenched my hands. “Don’t screw around with me. Don’t pretend that was nothing to you.”
He stayed quiet, avoiding my eyes. I’d seen this behavior from him before—an inner withdrawal, a deliberate and stubborn avoidance of a topic—and I didn’t like that I was seeing it now. I would have to push him for answers.
I swung my bedroom door shut, then strode to him. He stepped back, his legs bumping the bed.
I stopped almost on his toes. “Talk to me, Ezra.”
He lifted his gaze to mine, his mouth curving into a faint, rueful smile. “You’re stubborn.”
His words were a reminder of the last time we’d done this—me cornering him in the bathroom at their house. Where I’d told him I didn’t care that he was a demon mage. Where he’d caressed my face, then hugged me with a desperation I would never forget.
“Extremely stubborn,” I agreed. “And I’m not leaving until you talk to me.” I lifted my chin. “Or you can kiss me again. Your choice.”
His eyes flicked down to my mouth, then snapped back up. He swallowed, his throat moving, and for a second, I swore his hands twitched in my direction.
Inhumanly quick, he slipped past me. I spun as he crossed the room and halted, facing the closed door, his hand pressed against the wood and shoulders bowed.
“I can’t do this, Tori.”
My muscles locked up. The hoarse emotion in those quiet, simple words—he wasn’t just talking about a kiss.
“There are things you don’t know about me.” He spoke to the door as though unable—or afraid—to speak to my face. “When Aaron and Kai told you what I am, they didn’t tell you the worst part.”
The floor under my feet suddenly felt unstable. “What didn’t they tell me?”
He was silent, the seconds stretching past, then he exhaled sharply. “You already know a demon mage has to fight his demon for control, but that’s not the end of it. Whether the human gets weaker over time or the demon grows stronger … whichever it is, the demon always wins in the end.”
I couldn’t breathe right. Why was there no air in this room? “What do you mean?”
“The average lifespan of a demon mage is eight years. The record is ten.”
My hands, fisted at my sides, trembled. “I don’t understand.”
His shoulders moved with a silent breath. “I’m going to lose my mind to my demon. It happens to every demon mage. Always.”
Eterran’s voice whispered in my head. Ezra knows his body and soul are destined to be mine.
“But—but your control is so good.” A whimper of denial wormed into my voice. “You’re better than those other mages. You …”
“My hold over my demon and his magic started weakening about four years in, and it’s been slipping ever since.” A long pause. “Do you understand? I’m losing. It’s already begun, and I’ll only get more dangerous as my demon gets stronger.”
My voice scraped in my throat. “Ezra …”
He turned around, putting his back against the door. Dark despair, deep and hopeless and heartbreaking, dimmed his eyes. “I’m sorry I kissed you. It was stupid and selfish of me. I just—”
He broke off, shaking his head.
My mind was reeling, my chest tight and burning. I blinked rapidly as I absorbed this bombshell that explained so many of the brief comments and hidden reactions from Aaron and Kai.
“What can I do, Ezra?” I asked hoarsely, stumbling toward him. “How can I help?”
I stretched my arm out, my fingertips brushing his chest. He caught my fingers, his warm hand gripping tight. His other hand rose, thumb brushing across my cheek—wiping away an escaped tear.
“Just be my friend,” he whispered, “for as long as you can.”
My vision wavered as I lost the battle against my tears. His face blurred, and I choked on a sob.
The door handle clicked and a breeze hit my skin. I wiped my hand over my face, clearing my eyes, but he was already gone, the door hanging open, the hallway empty.
I stood alone, trembling, terrified. My gaze fell on his photo album, forgotten on my bed. Seven months of photos, of laughter and silliness and the best moments of my life. Unbeknownst to me, had our happiness been ticking away, an unseen and silent timer counting down to an inevitable end? How long did Ezra have until his demon destroyed him completely?
My lungs heaved as I fought back another sob. I strode into the hall. The door to Kai’s guest suite was open and his voice drifted out, followed by Aaron’s laugh.
The two mages looked up as I stormed in, their amusement dying at the sight of my tear-streaked face.
Kai stepped toward me. “Tori—”
“How long has Ezra been a demon mage?” I fired the question like a bullet, fierce and fiery.
He cast a surprised glance at Aaron, then refocused on me. “Nine years.”
The average lifespan of a demon mage was eight years. The record was ten.
“Actually,” Aaron said in a quiet voice, “nine and a half.”
Nine and a half years. That meant Ezra had been barely fourteen when he became a demon mage. And now, at only twenty-three, his time was almost up.
My breath wheezed out. Aaron stepped close and Kai was right there on my other side, the two mages positioned like bodyguards, as though they could shield me from the truth. They’d tried to. They hadn’t revealed this final, soul-crushing detail to spare me.
Kai touched my shoulder. “Did Ezra tell you?”
“That he’s going to lose his mind to his demon, and it’ll probably happen soon?” I asked with a harsh, bitter laugh. “Yeah, he did.”
Aaron grimaced. “The hell kind of timing is that? It’s Christmas.”
“I forced him into it.” I looked between them. “What’s the plan?”
“What plan?”
“To save Ezra!” I grabbed Aaron’s sleeve and shook it angrily. “How are we going to get that demon out of his body before it destroys him?”
Kai wrapped his arms around me from behind, pulling me into his chest. As he rested his cheek against the top of my head, my panic almost broke free. Kai wasn’t normally touchy feely—and the fact that he was now terrified me.
“It’s a lifelong, soul-binding contract,” he whispered. “It can never be undone.”
“But what if—”
“There is no ‘what if.’ Do you think we didn’t try? Aaron and I researched Demonica and demon mages for three years straight after we found out what Ezra is. We looked into everything.”
Everything … except the demonic amulet they didn’t know I had.
Just as Eterran had promised, Ezra was doomed. I might’ve hoped he could survive past ten years, but based on recent evidence and Ezra’s own warning, Eterran was well on his way to taking full control. That meant the amulet was no longer a last resort. It was Ezra’s sole chance at survival.
Eterran had said it himself: You are giving him his only chance.
I leaned back into Kai and closed my eyes. They didn’t know it yet, but we were going to save Ezra. We would use the amulet to separate him and Eterran—somehow. I had four weeks to find out all I could about the amulet and come up with a plan.
And then I would tell Aaron and Kai everything.