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Neferet, I said. He frowned. What of her? You say I'm supposed to love only you, but you're not even free. You're with Neferet. Some of his easy confidence disappeared. Neferet is not your concern. His words made my heart squeeze and I realized that a big part of me had wanted him to deny that he was with her--to tell me that was over. Disappointment lent me strength, and I said, I think she is my concern. Last time I saw her she tried to kill me, and that was when I was rejecting you. I say yes to you and she's going to lose her mind--what's left of it. On me. Again. Why are we discussing Neferet? She is not here. Look at the beauty that surrounds us. Consider what it would be to rule this place at my side--to help me bring back the ancient ways to this world that has become far too modern. One of his hands slipped down to caress my arm.
I ignored the sensations that were shivering across my skin and the alarm bells that were blaring in my head at his comment about bringing back the ancient ways, and put on my best whiny teenage tone. Seriously, Kalona, I really don't want any more drama with Neferet. I don't think I could handle it. He threw his hands up in frustration. Why are you still speaking of the Tsi Sgili? I command you to forget her! She is nothing to us. The instant his arms no longer imprisoned me against the stone, I scrambled sideways, determined to put some space between us. I needed to think, and I couldn't do that with his arms around me. Kalona followed, this time backing me against one of the low parts of the rooft op wall--a gap in the stone teeth. There was only support as high as the back of my knees. From there up I could feel the cool wind brushing against my back and moving my hair.
I didn't need to look behind me. I knew the drop-off was dizzying and that the blue of the sea waited far, far below. You cannot escape me. Kalona's amber eyes narrowed. I saw anger beginning to simmer beneath his seductive exterior. And you must realize that I am going to rule this world very soon. I will bring the ancient ways back, and in doing so I will pide these modern people, separating the wheat from the chaff. The wheat shall stay by my side, growing and thriving as they feed me. The chaff shall be burnt into nothingness. I felt a terrible sinking inside me. He was using old, poetic words, but I had absolutely no doubt he was describing the end of the world as I knew it, and the destruction of countless people-- vampyres, fledglings, and humans. Feeling sick, I tilted back my head and gave him a totally clueless look. Wheat? Chaff? Sorry, you lost me.
You'll have to translate that into something I get. He didn't say anything for a long moment. He only studied me silently. Then, with a slight smile curling his full lips, he reached out and caressed the side of my face with his hand. You play a dangerous game, my little lost love. My body froze. His hand slid slowly from my cheek down the side of my neck, searing a path of cold heat across my skin. You toy with me. You think you can act the schoolgirl who understands nothing more than the next dress she will wear or the next boy she will kiss. You have underestimated me. I know you, A-ya. I know you too well. Kalona's hand continued down and I sucked in a shocked gasp when he cupped my breast. He rubbed his thumb across the most sensitive spot there and a frigid stab of desire shook me. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep myself from trembling at his caress.
There on the rooft op of my dream, with the sea behind me and Kalona before me, I was trapped by his hypnotizing touch and I knew then with a terrible certainty that it wasn't just A-ya's memories that drew me to him. It was me--my heart--my soul--my desires. No, please stop. I meant for the words to come out loud and strong, a command he couldn't ignore, but instead I sounded breathy and weak. Stop? He chuckled again. It seems you have lost your truth. You do not wish I would stop. Your body yearns for my touch. You cannot deny it. So shake off this foolish re sis tance. Accept me and your place by my side. Join me and together we will create a new world. I swayed toward him, but managed to whisper, I can't. If you do not join me you will be my enemy, and I will burn you with the rest of the chaff. As he'd been speaking his gaze had moved from my face down to my br**sts.
Now he cupped both of them in his hands. His amber eyes had gone all soft and looked unfocused as he caressed me, sending icy waves of unwanted desire through my body, and sickness through my heart, my mind, and my soul. I was trembling so hard my words sounded shaky. This is a dream . . . only a dream. This is not real. I spoke as if to convince myself. His lust for me made him even more seductive. He smiled intimately at me while he continued to stroke my br**sts. Yes, you dream. Though there is truth and reality here, as well as your deepest, most secret desires. Zoey, in this dream you are free to do anything you wish--we can do anything you wish. It's just a dream. I repeated the words to myself. Please, Nyx, let the power of this next truth wake me up. I do want to be with you, I said. Kalona's smile was fierce with victory, but before he could lock me within his immortal and all-too-familiar embrace, I added, But the truth is no matter how bad I want you, I'm still Zoey Redbird and not A-ya, and that means in this lifetime I have chosen to follow Nyx.