When did I need to harden my walls so they weren’t completely ripped from me?

I had no answer, because I knew he’d come back. He’d have food with him. That smile would cause my heart to do flip-flops. He’d look at me, smile at me, say my name, and my body would ignite in a happy flame. All the buzzing my phone did from him, that’s what he did to me.

He made me buzz. My heart. My mind. My soul—my inner comedian was gagging at the cheesiness, but it was true. I was a goner, and I was slipping further away each moment Reese was in my world.

My phone went off again.

Grant: You never answered last night. Everything okay? You’re not doing a disappearing act, are you?

I took a deep breath, feeling an instant kick start of nerves, and I forced myself to take the first steps. It was now or I didn’t think I’d ever do it, but I really had no choice.

Me: Things are good. It’s fun, and I’ll take the job.

My phone rang right away. Grant.

I accepted his call, taking the coffee out to Reese’s patio—where, dear Lord, the view was amazing. My knees almost buckled in shock. The waves rolled in and out from the shore.

“Hey.” My voice had gone hoarse for a beat.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Hi.”

He was silent a second. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I sat down on a patio lounger, coffee on the table in front of me, and I snuggled down, getting comfortable.

“Are you sure about the job? Ball Wonder okay with it?”

I grinned at the nickname. “Ball Wonder doesn’t really have a say. We’re friends—”

“Oh my God, shut the fuck up with that!”

I laughed. “Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean.”

“No. I don’t, actually. Listen, tell me to stay in my lane, but he seemed to have reservations about you taking the job. And he’s not messing around. He cares about you. You sure about saying yes?”

“Don’t you want me there?”

“Hell yes, I want you here. Sophia and Hadley will be over the moon, but I want to make sure you’re not doing it because your back is up against a wall. I know you. I know you’re probably making yourself feel like you are, but you aren’t. Forster seemed serious about making sure you didn’t take a job out of desperation.”

I wanted to scoff at him, but I couldn’t. That made all of this even shittier.

He waited a beat, then asked, “What’s going on, Charlie? For real.”

So many years of silence.

My first instinct was to say nothing, but I had to remember, Damian had wanted me to be quiet. He’d wanted me to hide in our pretend world where nothing real was happening, where his mind wasn’t slowly being taken away from us.

Fuck him. Fuck being silent.

“I won’t recover after Reese.”

There it was, the ugly truth. My voice trembled. “Walking away from Damian was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and when something bad happens—because it will—I won’t be able to stand up again after Reese. It’ll be too much.”

Now it was his turn to be silent. I heard a soft sigh.

“Then come home. I’ll drive down and pick you up at the airport.”

There. Just like that.

I was crying, but I needed to hear this. I needed one other person to give me permission to walk away from someone else.

“Okay.”

“But you’re wrong, Charlie. Walking away from Damian wasn’t the hardest thing. Loving him and staying was the hardest thing you did. You stayed. Remember that.”

No. I left.

Everyone leaves, eventually.

Right?

“I’ll fly back on Friday,” I told Grant. “And that’ll be it. That’ll be the end.”

“I’m back!” Reese walked into the kitchen and set a bag on the table. “I grabbed some salads, but I have to warn you, I’m starving. I might need to eat something else too.” He tossed his keys and wallet on the counter, then came over to where I was standing by the sink.

His arms wrapped around me and he grinned. “I have to say,” he murmured, dipping closer, “it’s really nice to see you here.”

He caught my lips with his, and a dizzying spell rushed through me. I went with him as his head began to lift, going to my tiptoes, and just as he was going to pull clear, I clasped him by the back of his neck.

“No,” I said, keeping him right where he was.

Maybe it was because of my decision, or maybe it was because I agreed with him—it was really fucking nice to have him come home to me, like we were married. But for whatever reason, need pulsated through me. Demanding need. I needed him. Now. Five minutes ago. My hands turned frenzied.

“Yeah?” He paused, his mouth still on mine, his body arched over me as he leaned against the counters beside me.

“God, yeah.” I moaned, yanking him against me, and after that, it was a mess of limbs, desperation, and hunger.

I was starving for him.

I couldn’t let him go. I just couldn’t, so I turned my brain off. I had to or I would start crying because I was already aching at the thought of what Friday would mean.

“Shit.” He kissed my throat, his hands moving more urgently on me.