It was my fault for letting her in, and I was paying for it. I wanted to throw something or put my fist through the wall, but that wouldn’t bring Ari back. Feeling defeated and even more f**king angry, I stormed out of the suite and down to the lodge.

“Hey, man. What took you so long?” Miller asked when he saw me approaching.

Sydney was sitting on his lap, and Vin was nowhere to be found.

“Whoa! What’s wrong? What happened?” He scooted Sydney to the side and stood.

“Alcohol. Now. Lots of it.”

Sydney jumped up. “Cuz, you all right? You look murderous.”

I just glared at her. “You got alcohol, Syd? Or are you not understanding?”

“Whoa there, motherfucker! I’m your f**king cousin, not some groupie whore.”

“Then, get out of my way because I think I need one.”

Sydney gave me a disgusted look. Coming from the dirty slut that she was, it should have sent off warnings, but I just ignored it. Miller, however, I couldn’t ignore.

“No way. No can do. Ari would kill you and me both if I let that happen.”

“Well, she’s not here, is she?”

“What’s wrong with you?” Sydney snapped. “You’re normally this disgusting pig but not with her.”

“Are you done wasting my time?” I asked, pushing her out of my way and back onto the couch.

Miller grabbed my arm, threw it behind me, and gave a small shove upward. I grimaced. Shit, that hurt!

“You going to stop acting like an idiot?” Miller asked.

He had the upper hand, and I just wanted to pummel him, but I wasn’t mad at him. I was mad at Ari. Or myself. Or Kristin. But mostly myself.

Finally, I nodded. Miller released me and then strongly encouraged me to take a seat.

“What’s going on?”

“Yeah, cuz. What the f**k has gotten into you?”

I ground my teeth together and ignored Sydney as she crawled back onto Miller’s lap. Great. One big f**king reminder of what I’d just completely trashed.

“I don’t want to talk about it, so just lay off. I should go find Donovan since you two seem to be a bit lost in your own world, and all my other brothers are gone,” I said bitterly.

“Something happen with Ari?” Sydney probed.

“Did you not just hear me say that I didn’t want to f**king talk about it?” I bit back.

“All right,” Miller said.

He dropped his hand on Sydney’s knee, and she sighed back into his chest. Fuck that!

“Are we done with the interrogation now?” I had other things on my mind, like booze and pot and women and incoherence and blacking out and forgetting that this shit day ever happened.

Miller was giving me a sympathetic look, like he’d already guessed what was going on without me telling him. “Are you sure you want to go hang out with The Drift right now? Being around Donovan and the rest of the band might not be in your best interest.”

I stood abruptly. “The only person who made me care about my best interest just f**king walked out on me, so I don’t think it f**king matters what else I do.”

I woke up at the crack of dawn, feeling like absolute shit, and it wasn’t just from the bottle of whiskey last night. Aribel. Oh shit! No, this could not be happening to my life.

I needed her. I couldn’t go on without her. She was my breath of fresh air. She reminded me what it was like to live. She was the only person I’d ever cared enough about to invest time into. I couldn’t just let her get away.

Throwing my legs over the bed, I immediately regretted my decision. I had a splitting headache and the sudden need to vomit. I braced myself on the side table and then stood up. Drinking with Donovan last night had been a terrible idea. The guy could f**king drink me under the table, and I had no clue how. He’d tried to throw groupies at me, but luckily, I hadn’t been a total shithead. My bed was mercifully empty. I would have regretted that for the rest of my life.

Clothes were a struggle, but I eventually managed to throw something suitable on. Then, I was out of the room and out the front door before the sun had cleared the horizon.

I needed to talk to Ari. I needed to make this right.

That conversation should have never happened. I’d been f**king wasted, and nothing I’d said had come out right. I should have told her that I would never even touch another girl if it meant we were together. I should have told her that Kristin was nobody and that it was wrong for her to be in my suite and that I did understand how serious the situation was. I should have begged Ari to stay. I should have followed her. A heavy cloud of regret settled in the pit of my stomach, and it did nothing for my hangover.

I was still shrugging into my leather jacket in the freezing cold when I reached her door. I banged on it as hard as I could until I felt like my hand was going to fall off from the cold.

“Ari! Are you in there?” I yelled. “I need to talk to you about last night! Please, please talk to me. Aribel! Come on! I’m freezing out here. Can we please just talk this out? I was an idiot. A motherfucking idiot. Look, I don’t care how cold it is out here. I’ll stand out here all day if you won’t let me—”

McAvoy opened the door. “Bro, I think we got that.”

“What the f**k is this?” I asked, bewildered.

“I stayed the night.” He shrugged like it was no big deal.

“With who?”

I wasn’t sure why it even mattered. McAvoy had had his fair share of women, but he wasn’t like Vin and me. He would pick chicks for a purpose, and usually dated them casually. We’d had a number of girls McAvoy dated like that hang around the band for a few weeks, but none of that really mattered right now.

“Gabi.”

Huh, the little pixie. I would have never guessed. “Is Ari in there? I need to talk to her.”

McAvoy looked confused. “She left early this morning.”

“Left for where?” My blood ran cold. No. I need to fix this. She had to let me fix this.

“Bro, I thought you knew. I would have told you.”

“Where did she go?”

“Back to Jersey. I heard her tell Gabi something about an early flight to Boston, but I guess I assumed she meant Sunday.”

“Thanks, man.”

I dashed away back to my room. I heard McAvoy yell something after me, but I didn’t bother listening. I had to get back to Jersey. I had to see her. She could not leave for Boston before we talked.