Because I had Tate’s back tight to my front, my arms wrapped around his belly and my cheek to his shoulder. I was drunk on martinis he’d made me and I’d drunk them in delicate glasses he’d bought me. And my mind was free, clear and free and I was, for the first time in my life, deliriously happy. Content, settled, safe, and happy with my family of three, me, Jonas and Tate.

It was late and it was cold but Tate and I rode for a long time. Finally, he stopped at a ridge, Carnal spread out before us, its lights blinking in the utter darkness of the hills and mountains surrounding it, covered in a blanket of midnight blue that was the sky.

Tate thrust down the stand, turned off the bike and I hopped off the back, Tate coming off after me. I walked to the edge of the ridge and stopped. Tate moved in behind me and circled me with his arms, one at my chest, one at my ribs.

“Next year, babe, you call him when I’m there,” he said in my ear.

My mind had been filled with nothing during the ride. Tate’s mind had been filled with Matt.

“Okay,” I whispered. “But, Tate, it isn’t a big deal,” I assured him, even though this year it was, I didn’t share that. “We’ve been doing it for –”

His arms gave me a squeeze and I shut up. “You do it when I’m there.”

“You have nothing to worry about,” I told him.

“I know,” he replied.

“So why –?”

“Don’t want you hidin’ anything from me.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

He was done with this topic, I knew that when he muttered, “Simple request, Ace.”

I was beginning to realize that, although some of the ways of a badass, biker, bounty hunting, alpha male would become clear to me, others would forever remain a mystery.

My hands came up and my fingers curled around his forearm at my chest. “Okay, Captain. Next year, I’ll talk to Matt when you’re there.”

His arm at my chest tightened and he kept muttering when he said, “Seal the deal.”

I blinked at the vista.

“What?”

His arm around my ribs stole away, then his hand came back, prying my left one from his forearm at my chest, I felt something cold at my ring finger and Tate slid its coldness to rest at the base.

“Seal the deal,” he repeated, his hand curling mine back on his arm and his lips went to my neck to give me a kiss.

That neck was bent and I was staring at a diamond glittering dimly in the night.

I simply stared at it, mind blank, stomach hollow, heart stopped as Tate kept talking.

“Seal the deal,” he said yet again. “You talk to him next year, another ring’s gonna be sittin’ at the base of that one.”

I felt my throat get tight.

Tate went on. “We’ll get married in April, anniversary we met.”

I swallowed and couldn’t tear my eyes from the ring.

Tate continued. “You want a big thing, we can do that, but, babe, I’d prefer it small.”

I stood statue-still, fingers frozen clutching his arm, eyes still locked on the ring.

Tate carried on. “Same people there as tonight, ‘cept your family too.”

I finally pulled my eyes from the ring and looked at the lights of Carnal but I still didn’t speak.

This went on for awhile and Tate’s arms, now both wrapped around me again, gave me a tight squeeze.

“Laurie?” he called.

“You spent thousands of dollars on me for my birthday,” I said, my voice rough, abrasive, sounding weird.

His arms squeezed me tight again but they stayed tight this time.

“Yeah, babe, and I get why you didn’t want to make a big thing about it but that shit’s whacked. That isn’t a lesson to Jonas. The lesson he needs to learn is life goes on and we’re lucky enough to be livin’ it so we should do it, as much as we can, while we got the chance.”

It was like he didn’t speak.

“You spent thousands of dollars on me for my birthday,” I reiterated.

He sighed then replied, “Overhead’s reduced, Ace, shit’s not tight. It ain’t even comfortable. We’re good, more than good.”

“Martinis and top of the line appliances,” I whispered.

I felt Tate’s body shift into hardness when he muttered, “Somethin’ like that.”

I stared at Carnal and Tate’s arms remained around me, his body solid behind me.

“Lauren,” he called again but I didn’t answer, I stared at Carnal, a Nowheresville town that looked magical after midnight. “Shit, baby, give me something,” Tate growled in my ear.

“Brad never remembered my birthday,” I told him.

Tate made a move as if to shift me, turn me toward him but my fingers curled deeper into his arm and he stilled.

“When he asked me to marry him, the first thing I felt was fear,” I went on.

“Ace –”

“Fear because I wanted him and I knew, eventually, I’d make it so he didn’t want me.”

“Lauren –”

“And I did,” I continued.

“Christ almighty, Laurie, I thought we were passed –”

“Not once, not once in all the years I was with him did I feel happy.”

Tate was silent.

“Not even a little,” I said.

Tate remained silent and so did I and we both stayed this way for a long time.

Finally, Tate asked, “You happy now, baby?”

“Yes,” I answered instantly and felt his face in my neck. “A small wedding,” I whispered. “Maybe Ned and Betty will let us have a pool party after.”

His head lifted and his voice was a thick growl when he said, “Sounds good.”

“You f**ked up, Captain,” I told him and his arms got even tighter.

“Come again?”

“I’m not drunk anymore. You could have had Drunk Lauren Sex.”

I felt his body moving behind me and I knew it was with laughter.

“I was in the mood to attack,” I informed him. “You could definitely have had it dirty. You could have had anything you wanted.”

“I don’t get that now?” he asked, his voice still thick and now rumbly but with humor.

“Oh yeah, you still get it,” I started to turn, his arms loosened, I faced him and mine went around his neck as I pressed deep into him. “But it’s my birthday and I’m not drunk anymore so now you have to do all the work.”