My phone starts to buzz again. I look down and see it’s not a text, it’s my alarm.

A smile breaks out on my face as I realize it’s finally time to spread the news. RiAnne and Vanessa should be sitting down at their prized lunch table right about now.

All alone.

I turn to Mandy and Alicia, who are lying in the chaises next to me. “This has been so much fun. We need to tweet about it, upload some party pics, and tag everyone on Facebook.”

“Maybe we should take a group photo?” Alicia suggests.

“GROUP PHOTO!” I yell to everyone.

We all line up on the beach, do some silly pics, and instantly post them.

“Maybe we should post a few of the ones I took last night of you dancing on the bar,” Alicia says.

“That’d be fun. I really feel sorry for everyone stuck at school. Today is like perfect. What a great way to blow off some steam before we have to start studying for finals,” Mandy says.

Alicia flips through her phone. “What do you think of this one?”

“That one’s good. My legs look skinny,” I laugh. “Although I look a little tipsy.”

“You were a little tipsy,” Mandy says. “But if I was licking salt off Cush’s abs, I would have been totally wasted. He’s so hot.”

“Um, thanks.” I think. I’m starting to think Mandy has a bit of a crush on Cush.

“The way you can dance, I’m surprised you’ve never tried out for dance team,” Alicia says.

“I thought about it, but Vanessa thought it would be lame of me.”

“Well you’re breaking free of Vanessa and her evil, bitchy ways, right?”

“Yeah, I guess. I just want to have a drama-free year next year.”

“You still gonna be dating Cush?” Mandy asks.

“I hope so. We’re having lots of fun. Saturday night was incredible.”

I tell them all the hotel details. Every detail he planned. How he’s already told me he loves me. I’m so bragging. I normally wouldn’t kiss and tell, but I get the feeling Mandy would offer herself up to Cush if given the chance.

My phone buzzes with a text from Vanessa. She texted me a couple times this morning, wondering why I wasn’t at school.

But this text is different.

She’s PISSED!

“Oh, wow.”

“Is it Vanessa? What’d she say?” Mandy’s eyes light up. I think Mandy enjoys drama a little too much.

“She said, Do you really want to do this? Go up against me? You planned this, right? RiAnne and I sitting by ourselves, then you perfectly time the tweets and Facebook photos. I have to admit, I underestimated you.”

Mandy and Alicia laugh, joke, and trash talk Vanessa.

I don’t laugh with them. In fact, I barely register that they’re speaking because Brooklyn has just stepped foot onto the beach. He and Mark are dragging out their boards.

The girls follow my eyes. “Who’s that?”

“A neighbor. We surf together,” I say, but I sort of feel like my heart is shattering into a bunch of really small shards of glass, and those glass shards are trying to poke out through my chest. I wrap my hand tightly into a ball, trying to ward away the pain. I haven’t seen him since that night he asked me to go to Hermosa with him. I haven’t talked to him since our text fight, when he told me to grow up.

I have to go say something. At least Mark is there. I can pretend I’m just being nice, normal, friendly Keats.

I’m a bit hungover, but I have on big sunglasses, and I look good in a new bikini. “I’ll be back,” I tell the girls.

I jog down the beach. “Hey, Mark!”

Mark turns around. “S’up, girly. You having a party, and you didn’t invite me? Aren’t you supposed to be at school?”

“We decided to do an all-nighter last night, skip school, and hang here. We have finals this week; thought we’d blow off a little steam.”

“Sucks you didn’t come to Hermosa. We were so stoked. We met the coolest . . . ”

Brooklyn cuts him off. “Let’s get out there,” he says directly to Mark. I swear his eyes have looked directly at everything on the beach but me.

“Uh, sure,” Mark says, grabbing his board.

Just as they are almost in the water, Cush grabs me from behind. I was carefully studying every move Brooklyn made and did not hear him sneak up on me.

“Ahhhhh!” I scream.

Brooklyn turns around to see Cush pick me up and twirl me around. Then he drops my feet into the sand and kisses me.

It’s a long kiss, but I’ve yet to close my eyes. I’m still staring out at the ocean. Out at Brooklyn, specifically.

And Brooklyn chooses this exact moment to finally lock eyes with me. The look of disgust he gives me makes me feel like the broken shards from my heart are now flying into my eyes, piercing them.

And it pisses me off.

It’s not my fault we’re not together.

I didn’t leave him.

I didn’t hook up with someone else.

Um, okay, so I did, but that was only after he ditched me.

I decide it’s only fair to throw a few shards back in the jerk’s direction.

I leap up and wrap my legs around Cush’s waist. He grabs my butt to hold me up while kissing me. I close my eyes and get into the kiss. Start running my hands wildly through the back of his hair. Trying to show Brooklyn how much I like Cush. How what he did didn’t hurt me in the least. Because I’m happy, and lucky to be with a guy like Cush.

After our big PDA, Cush sets me down. “Want a piggyback ride?”

I don’t reply, just jump on his back, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss his shoulder while he runs back up the beach.

When I hop off his back, he turns to me and says with a smirk, “That probably pissed him off, huh?”

“Probably. Is that why you did it?”

“Yep.” Then he gives me the sweetest looking face ever and whispers, “Plus, I love you.”

I give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Well, I don’t care what he thinks,” I lie.

I want to look back at him, but I can’t bear to, so I change the subject. “Vanessa is super pissed.”

“We knew she would be.”

I grab my phone and read him what she said. Another text pops up on my screen. This one I don’t read to anyone.

Vanessa: You might just be as big of a bitch as I am. Enjoy your day in the sun, Keatyn. None of those people are your friends, and I’ll ruin you. Pinky swear!

I think about what I just did to her. How I made her look at school. How I wanted to hurt her.

I look out in the water at Brooklyn and think about how I put on a show to make him feel bad. To hurt him.

I gulp and realize she’s right.

I may have become the biggest bitch of all.

Friday, May 27th

A herd of sheep.

1pm

Finally. School is out for the summer! We finished up the last of our finals, checked in our textbooks, and got out at noon.

Vanessa and RiAnne have been ignoring Cush and me at school this week. Not that I blame them. And it’s what I wanted, right?

It just doesn’t feel very good.

Cush and I went out to lunch with a bunch of the guys from his soccer team and some of their girlfriends. They were all going to spend the rest of the day at a nearby water park, but we decided to go back to my house and lay on the beach instead.

We’re tired. We both studied really hard for our tests, and I didn’t sleep well all week. I think my subconscious is trying to punish me for being a bitch by giving me horrible dreams.

Kym is in the kitchen working on her laptop when we wander in the house.

“Keatyn, let’s talk about your birthday.”

“My birthday? It’s not until August.”

“I know, but you’re going to be seventeen. Don’t you think it’s time we throw you a big bash? A Super Sweet Seventeen?”

Cush says, “That’d be tight. You didn’t have a Sweet Sixteen.”

“That’s because we went to Australia, and when I got home, they had remodeled my closet! It was my best birthday ever!”

“Aren’t you supposed to want a car when you turn sixteen? That’s when I got my car.”

“I get to drive the Rover and most of Tommy’s cars whenever I want, so I didn’t really need one for my birthday.”

“So what kind of party are you thinking, Kym?” Cush says. He seems enthralled with the idea, and Kym is eating it up.

“Well, I was going to ask the birthday girl what her dream party would be. But what do you think?”

Cush turns and looks at me. “I think you should rent out The Side Door. That place we go dancing. Get your friend to DJ, bring in some food. Invite everybody. It would rock.”

“Is that the club you go to on Thursday nights?”

“Yeah, it’s really fun. Huge. But I think for my birthday, I might just want something small. Maybe a nice dinner with the family or something.”

“What’s wrong with you lately?” Kym says. “Most girls would kill for a party like this. I’m talking dancing, rap stars, everyone cool from your school. You’re young. You’re beautiful. We need to introduce you to society.”

“You gonna marry me off for some beach property and a herd of sheep?”

“Aren’t you just hilarious? Come on, think big. What would you want?”

Cush says to Kym, “She’s having some trouble with Vanessa right now.” He turns to me. “Think about it, Keatyn. That place is huge. You wouldn’t have to invite just the popular people. You could be nice and invite everyone.”

“That’s true. I could. You’re brilliant.” I lean over and give him a kiss.

“I don’t have a man in my life right now,” Kym says flatly. “Or even a hot fling. So do not sit there and kiss in front of me. It makes me feel old.”

Cush and I stop kissing and laugh.

“You’re leaving for Grandma and Grandpa’s tomorrow, aren’t you?” Kym asks.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see them. Their ranch is so fun. Grandma is going to teach me how to make homemade pies this year. You know, Kym, Grandma says the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Maybe you need to learn to bake.”

Kym shakes her head. “If you ever see me baking for a man, promise you will hold an intervention and send me to rehab or something, because it will mean I’ve finally lost my mind.”

Wednesday, June 1st

Picture of your world.

9:50pm

Tomorrow night I’m going back home. I’ve had a great time relaxing at my grandparents’ ranch in East Texas.

Although, relaxing is definitely the wrong word.

When I’m here, I work all day long. Feeding the horses. Riding the horses. Brushing the horses. Helping Grandma cook. Hanging the sheets to dry on the clothesline outside. Grandma’s sheets smell so good. I wish I could bottle the scent and take it home with me.

Grandpa and I are sitting on the front porch drinking spiked lemonade. Grandpa says spiked lemonade is good for the soul.

“Sometimes it’s hard being the daughter of someone famous,” I tell him. I’ve been thinking a lot about friends lately. Damian’s off in Europe. Brooklyn isn’t speaking to me. Vanessa and RiAnne haven’t spoken to me either. I wanted to make a point. I wanted to show them that I was serious about wanting to be nicer to people. I wanted them to know I was fed up with them and the way they were behaving. And in the process, I behaved worse than they ever have. If it weren’t for Cush, I wouldn’t even want to go back to school. Honestly, having a tutor sounds pretty good right now.

Grandpa sips on his lemonade and looks out over his land. When he sets his glass down and starts rocking in his chair again, he says, “You need to get a bigger picture of your world.”

“What do you mean? I have a big picture of the world. I’ve traveled the world since I was a kid.”

Grandpa shakes his head. “Well, hotshot, just cause you’ve traveled the world, doesn’t mean you know jack shit about your world.”

“My world? I’m living in my world. I don’t get it.”

“At some point in their life, every person has to strike out on their own. I was on my own at sixteen, working cattle fields in Wichita, and then on oil rigs. I was my own man. You’re beginning on your journey of becoming who you’re going to be. You’re fixing to strike out on your own. You want to stop being Abby Johnston’s daughter and start being yourself? Stop bitching about it and do it.”

“That’s pretty deep for an old cowboy,” I tease.

He gets up, ruffles my hair — which is Grandpa-speak for I love you — and tells me it’s time to hit the hay.

Friday, June 3rd

A little naughty.

10am

Back at home, I’m still unpacking when Cush rings the doorbell. The girls and Nanny are at dance class, so I’m the only one home. I open the door, and Cush rushes in. He picks me up, throws me over his shoulder, runs into my room, throws me on the bed, and attacks my face with kisses.

“Dang, what’s my greeting going to be like after I’ve been away in France for three weeks?”

Cush grins at me. “What can I say? I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“You ready to go?”

“Yeah.” I grab my bag. We decided to go back to his house, where we’ll have total privacy. We’re going to hang by the pool and order in dinner.

On the drive over, he says, “Did I tell you I’m having a party tomorrow night? Remember I promised the soccer team one to celebrate our season and to thank them for making me team captain?”