Judah’s hand landed on my shoulder as I stood outside the mansion. Judah was dressed in his black sweater, cargos and boots, as was I. Whatever he wanted me to see, a secret development he had been working on, was outside of New Zion.

“I’m ready,” I said and followed his lead down to the waiting van. I frowned seeing the blacked out van. Stopping, I looked to Judah whose eyes were lit with excitement. “A van?” I questioned. “Why do we need a van?”

Judah released my shoulder and climbed into the van. Brother Luke was sitting behind the wheel. He bowed to me as I clambered in.

My attention was still on Judah, waiting for him to answer my question. I tapped the door of the van and repeated, “The van?”

Judah glanced over to Brother Luke and smirked. “You will see, brother. We need to pick something up. And you will no doubt be pleased. What I have done, I have done for you, and you alone. You will be pleased. And this surprise will bring us all one step closer to our vision.”

I frowned, unsure what his surprise could be, but I was content with his answer. Since our disagreement over the child videos a few days prior, we had not been talking as much as normal. He had not visited me at the mansion, and for the first time in a long time, I had felt completely alone.

Without Judah, I was lost.

“Thank you,” I said a minute later, as we pulled out of the back gate of the commune and onto a secluded road.

Judah turned to look at me. Then a smile spread on his lips. I could see how much my thanks had meant to him. His hand covered mine. “I know that you do not see the purpose in our ways sometimes, but know that I am doing this for you. Our people believe in you, Prophet Cain. They see your face and know that God is with them. As do I. These early months, maybe even years, were always going to bring a period of adjustment.”

I squeezed Judah’s hand and sat back in my seat. Brother Luke cleared his throat, and said, “I have scheduled a Lord’s Sharing for this week’s end. Prophet David used to lead them in the old commune, but I know it is something that Judah has been leading in New Zion, since you have yet to take a consort or wife.” Brother Luke shifted in his seat and said, “The people are beginning to question why they have not been happening more regularly. We should be holding at least three a week. It is essential for the men to achieve their celestial meditation. Our people lose faith if these acts are not performed.”

I tensed as Brother Luke’s words assaulted my ears, and I could feel Judah stiffen beside me.

The Lord’s Sharing. The brother-sister exchange. I shook my head trying to erase what Mae had told me about those ceremonies, and also what Judah said about his involvement in awakening young girls.

After Judah and I had argued over the videos, I had sought out Prophet David’s private letters and there, in black and white, were his revealed words from God. He had preached about age not being relevant in taking a wife or consort, just as it had not been in the bible.  But as I read those words and pictured the young girls dancing on the videos, I felt sick; knowing that men, grown men, would be taking them carnally in a brother-sister exchange.

“Brother,” Judah advised. His hand gripped my knee tightly. “Do not give our people cause to doubt you. We have called them all back from around the world, to unite as one commune, one community under God, with you as His messenger. After the devil’s men attacked, the men you spent five years living with, they look to you for guidance.” Judah leaned forward until I met his eyes and he emphasized, “We need order. We need our beliefs and customs to be honored, or our people will not trust in your judgment. With the Klan on our side, we are growing financially. We are protected from the outside world. It is now time to focus within the confines of our walls. Thousands and thousands are waiting for your leadership to shine through. Sermons are not enough. You need to lead more of the Sacred Circles and finally appear at the Lord’s Sharings.”

Judah’s words were right. My uncle performed these ceremonies, and our people never doubted him. And I knew, as per our traditions, I had to lead these practices. Our beliefs were based on sexual pleasure, even if I had never experienced it myself.

“Brother?” Judah prompted. I nodded my head.

“I will lead them,” I agreed, fighting my inner will, which taught me otherwise.

Judah’s face split into a huge grin. “Perfect,” he sighed in relief. “And believe me, you will want to participate after today.”

I frowned again.  But all I could replay in my head were Mae’s words… Have you ever raped a child… have you ever taken a child in a brother-sister exchange…

As the van drove on, I looked out of the window, then closed my eyes. I prayed to the Lord to help me navigate this nightmare.

*****

An hour later, Brother Luke pulled onto a side road, a dirt path to a familiar place.

“Why are we here?” I asked Judah.

“You know this place?” he asked in surprise.

I nodded. “Judah, what—”

“You have waited this long, brother. Just a few more minutes and you will see what I have done for you.”

I looked out of the window at the ghost town we used to use in drop offs with the Hangmen, and my stomach rolled in trepidation. There was nothing here. Nothing here but derelict buildings and dirt.

I sat in silence as we approached a dark old mill. There was a van out front, but nothing else. As our van drew to a halt, two men came out of the mill.