I see Stephanie’s gaze drop to the ring finger of my left hand. It’s bare, of course.

As if he’s read her mind, Cooper says, “We’re eloping, so it’s a secret. If either of you tells anyone—including my brother or Tania—I’ll have no choice but to kill you.”

More of Stephanie’s teeth are exposed. She laughs, and it sounds like a horse’s whinny.

“I’m serious,” Cooper says, and Stephanie stops laughing.

“That’s cool,” Christopher says. “I hate big weddings.”

“Me too,” I say. “Aren’t they the worst? Who needs another Crock-Pot?”

“About the shooting,” Cooper says. “The man who was shot, Bear—”

Stephanie and Christopher look startled by the sudden change of subject.

“Bear? Great guy,” Christopher says. “Really, really could not feel worse about what happened to him. His nickname is so right-on. He’s a big cuddly teddy bear.”

“A big cuddly teddy bear who happens to be a bodyguard,” Cooper says.

“Well,” Christopher says, blinking. “Yeah. He’s a teddy bear unless you get too close to someone he’s protecting. Then he’ll rip your head off.”

“But that’s not what happened tonight?”

It’s interesting to watch Cooper at work. Stephanie and Christopher don’t seem to have caught on that that’s what Cooper is doing. To them, he appears to be a concerned big brother.

I, on the other hand, can tell he’s piecing together the beginning of his own private investigation into what exactly went down on Varick Street.

“Oh no,” Stephanie says, her eyes widening. In the glow from the fairy lights strung along the terrace walls, I can see that the vein in the middle of her forehead has calmed down. This is because Cooper has lulled her into thinking we’re just four friends, sitting around a patio table, talking.

This is far from the truth, however.

“The police said it was probably teenagers goofing off,” Stephanie says, “although when I was a teenager, we goofed off by throwing eggs at people’s cars, not shooting at them with guns.”

“But were the teenagers shooting at each other,” Cooper asks, “or Bear? Or my brother?”

His gaze has drifted toward Jordan, who can be seen through the French doors looking on worriedly while the EMTs take Tania’s vitals. I’ll admit it’s a fascinating sight, not just because the blood pressure cuff is so huge on Tania’s tiny arm, but because Jordan is being so solicitous. This is apparently as foreign to Cooper as it is to me.

Stephanie looks shocked. “No one would have any reason to shoot Bear, much less Tania or your brother. Jordan and Tania are two of the most liked celebrities on Facebook. Jordan has 15 million friends, Tania over 20 million—”

“And yet,” Cooper says, “they have a bodyguard.”

“To keep away fans who get overly friendly, and overzealous paps.”

Neither Cooper nor I need clarification. She means the paparazzi. The press wasn’t such a big deal when I was in the business, but they’re an ever-present hazard for Jordan and Tania, whose every move is followed voraciously by a pack of photographers bearing telephoto lenses. I know because I can’t turn on the Internet without seeing some headline about where Jordan ate or what Tania was wearing.

Cooper lets it drop. “So, Chris, what’s the name of your club?”

Christopher looks taken aback. “Well, Epiphany’s not really my club . . .”

“Sorry, I thought you said it was.”

“Christopher’s one of a few investors,” Stephanie says, quickly coming to the defense of her boyfriend. “That’s how he and I met. One of my sorority sisters’ brothers is also an investor, and I was there for her bachelorette party, and I met Chris, and one thing led to another, and—”

This appears to be too much information for Cooper. “Okay, then,” he interrupts. “Why here?”

“Excuse me?” Christopher asks, looking confused.

“Why did you decide to film here instead of going back to Jordan and Tania’s place after the shooting?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Christopher says. “To avoid the paps.”

“They heard about the shooting over the police scanners,” Stephanie explains, “and it sent them into a feeding frenzy. They were all over us back at Epiphany. Anyway, afterward, Tania wasn’t feeling well . . . understandably, since it was so hot and the police did hold us there for a while. The paps have Jordan and Tania’s place staked out.”

“I realized my parents’ place, on the other hand, was close by,” Christopher said, with a shrug. “And the paps don’t know about it. So I offered the use of it. I knew Mom and Dad wouldn’t mind.” He gives me one of his boyish grins. “I have to admit, I forgot about you, Heather, and your overprotectiveness of the kids in this building. I didn’t think you’d be here on a Sunday night.”

I glare at him. “I wouldn’t have to be overprotective of the kids in this building if some people weren’t always trying to take advantage of them.”

Stephanie’s curiosity is aroused. She looks from Christopher to me. “What’s she talking about?” she asks.

“Nothing,” Christopher says quickly. “Water under the bridge.”

“It wouldn’t have occurred to you to call it quits for the day,” Cooper says, steering the conversation back to the shooting. “After all, a violent crime was committed against one of your cast members.”

Stephanie’s eyes widen. “Tania Trace’s bodyguard was shot,” she reminds us, in case we’d forgotten. “During the filming of a reality show about Tania Trace. It would be dishonest of us not to film the very natural emotional reaction of Tania and Jordan to the shooting, even though the wound turned out only to require a few stitches. It was a truly frightening experience, and our viewers are going to want to feel what it was like right along with Jordan and Tania. And we don’t intend to let our viewers down. Not to mention we have only a limited amount of time in order to get the more, er, intimate footage between Tania and Jordan finished. Tania Trace Rock Camp starts in a matter of days, and—”

“Tania Trace what?” I interrupt.