“I need a minute,” I blurt, then break away and head for the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I consider calling Brielle to ask her what I should do, but I realize I left my purse in the front entryway, my cell phone inside it.

Frustrated, I pace in the small bathroom—two steps one way, then two back. The scent of his aftershave hangs in the air, deep notes of sandalwood and crisp spruce that only make me ache for him more. Shit.

Reece’s footsteps approach from down the hall. Three gentle taps on the door startle me.

“Macey? Are you okay?”

He must think I’m nuts. I clench my hands tightly at my side, angry at myself for being such a coward. “No. Yes. I mean, I think so.”

“Are you sick?” His voice rises with concern.

“No.”

“Changed your mind?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” I place one trembling hand over my mouth, trying to sort out the mess of feelings inside me.

A deep sigh sounds from the other side of the door. “You owe it to me to at least come out here and tell me what the hell’s going on.”

I take a deep breath, trying to work up the courage to face him. When I unlock the door, I’m standing face-to-face with Reece. His expression is angry, and I’m guessing we’re about to get into a heated debate. My stomach twists into a painful knot. I knew his kind words, his sweet kisses had all been too good to be true. He was only in this for the sex, and now that I’ve changed my mind, he’s done. He doesn’t do relationships, so what did I expect?

“I know what this is. I know what you’re doing,” he says, his voice tense.

“Then please fucking explain it to me. I want you. I want this. I’m just . . .”

“I know.” He takes my hand and guides me into his bedroom, which smells even more like him. It’s intoxicating, and makes my head spin.

We sit down on the bed. He says nothing for a moment, just continues holding my hands, his thumb softly caressing the back of my fingers as he looks at me with sympathy that I don’t understand.

“Will you please tell me what’s going on?” I beg.

“It’s called the fight-or-flight response. It’s human nature. When faced with a new concept, a dangerous animal, or a potentially life-changing situation, it’s a natural response to want to duck for cover. To protect yourself at all costs. You lost your parents at a young age, then we were separated for many years, and most recently your ex-douche cheated on you.”

“What are you talking about? I need you to start making sense. This has nothing to do with my parents or Tony.” I resist the urge to roll my eyes. He must think I’m insane.

“Pancake, I’m sorry to tell you this, but it has everything to do with that.” He laces his fingers with mine and gazes into my eyes. “It’s okay to be scared. This is a big step for us. It’s something we’ve both wanted for years, and now that it’s about to happen, it’s okay to feel apprehensive.”

“It is?” I tilt my head, my eyes narrowing on his.

“Absolutely.”

“Gosh, I feel like an idiot. Here we are about to have sex, and I completely ruin the mood by acting like a girl. You must hate me.”

“I could never hate you. Quite the opposite, actually.” He leans in close and presses a tender kiss to my lips.

“I don’t deserve this.” His kindness and understanding when I’ve basically just cut and run is sweet.

“Of course you do. Don’t say that.” He presses a kiss to my forehead, and I almost melt at how sweet he’s being. “This is a big step for us, and I’ve told you there will be no going back to being friends once we cross this line. So you have a big decision to make. You know what I want. If you decide to let me in, unconsciously you know that losing me would hurt you all over again.”

I take a minute to process everything he’s said. I don’t know when he got so wise, but I know in my heart he’s completely right. My mini meltdown in the bathroom? It’s because I’m terrified of losing him again.

Staring at our joined hands, I give his a squeeze. “After sex, are you going to leave?”

“No. Fuck no. That just about killed me last time leaving you alone in my playroom.”

Sweet relief floods through me. That almost killed me too.

“We’ll take this at whatever pace you need to. I want you, badly.” His gaze dips down to the front of his pants, where geez, that looks painful. His dick is trying to burst through the zipper. “But I want you to be ready and feel comfortable. I’ll wait however long I need to. I’m not going anywhere.”

Realizing he’s just said the exact words I needed to hear to feel comfortable, my libido returns, reminding me that I’ve wanted every inch of him for years. I lean into his touch, longing to experience the physical feel of his love.

“I can’t wait one more minute to have those sweet lips on mine again, though,” he whispers, bringing his mouth to mine. “Is this okay?” He strokes my hair, gazing at me with such love in his eyes, it’s impossible not to feel wanted.

“Yes,” I breathe, waiting for him to kiss me.

And he does. Just a light press of his lips to mine at first, then his teeth graze my lower lip and his tongue sweeps against mine. Then he’s kissing me the way I remember from my best memories. His tongue coaxes mine; his mouth hot and needy, moves over mine. I grow warm all over and my panties get damp. It’s never been this good with anyone else.